Saturday, January 10, 2004

i was getting fed up so i wrote this to mei...

Dear Mei,

I've said most of the things i wanted to say during the msn conversation. I'm sorrie if it hurts you. I wouldnt be a friend if i wasnt brutally honest. Seriously arent you tired of crying? If i were you i would. Dont tell me i donno how it feels like to cry all the time cause i've been through it before, i've also considered admitting myself into the mental institution but i got over it cause i learned that if i cant help myself no one can.
You know when i said abt being knocked down i seriously wasnt joking. I've been in school almost everyday 24/7. I'm emothionaly, physically and mentally tired, drained. Dont get me wrong i love what i'm doing cause it gives me something to do so i wont think. I have my own problems but i dont let ppl know bout it cause i know it'll be no use. no one can help me. so i drown myself with work. It keeps me going. Maybe you should find yoursellf a distraction.
I know you're gonna say that you shld be the one in mental inst and being knocked down but you dont deserve to.
You have a family to support you. I dont. I hardly see my family, you know why. Your family members may be strict with you cause they love you. You have your friends who cares for you esp your JC friends. At least you have a support to fall back on. I dont. I dont even have a piller of support. I cant depend on others, I have to depend on myself cause i feel that i'm alone in this world. Nobody knows me that well even if there is they would be too busy to even care. Compare my life to yours you are lucky. You may not feel it now but maybe later on. I really hope you understand what i'm trying to say, maybe you'll get it at a later point in life.
Relatiionships arent everything. Trust me. I havent been in one and i've so much things in my hands. I've gone tru stuff you cant even be in that i have. So move on mei. I'm really worried about you if you go on like this.
I've run out of things to say at this point of time. Know that i'm here for you no matter what.
I treasure my friendships and i dont throw away my friendships easily... so if you see me along the school corridors dont be a stranger...

Luv,
Azi

||:PreCiouS:||
1/10/2004 03:48:00 AM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.