Monday, January 26, 2004

Things always happen for a reason.

Something i believe in. Yea shit happens. Its may suck, it cld be utterly infuriating, disastrous,depressing, it cld happen for the best, it could also be to your advantage. We may kick up a fuss, ponder about it, scream, laugh, curse about it but it doesnt change the fact that it has happened and it has happened for a reason or another, consequences of actions or a potential platform for opportunities.

So why am i goin on about this?

Where i stand now, the position i am in, the path i've taken, the friendships that i've made, the things i've gone thru, the person i've become all resulted from something that happened in my life a few years ago. Things happen for a reason and i can tell you that from experience...
So what is it that happened that affected my life so much? Some of you would already know part of my life story but i've never told the whole story. Not that i'm intending to tell the whole world now about it nor am i gonna pour out my life story to all of you. Why? Why all the secrecy you may ask? Honestly i donno. Only those i hold dear and i trust knows my story but then is it the whole story? But then who really are in the group of ppl i've just mentioned? No offence to all my friends who are reading this but i can't answer it myself.
People are never who they seem to be. This statement includes me. So who is the real me? I get confused sometimes too. I've been wearing too many masks for a long time that sometimes i forget myself. But what has never changed me is the desire to please ppl. To be there for ppl in need. To help. Somebody once told me that you can't always please ppl, in my heart i know that for a fact but sometimes i just can't help it.. sigh... and because of this i'm usually taken advantage of. Yes i'm very aware that i'm one fine example of a person being used to another's advantage but whatever works. I've never work for fame or glory. If i what i do helps ppl, fine, i'm happy with that... knowing that i'm useful in this world =)

ok for the benefit of those who dont know... what happened in the past that affected my life so much is that dad passed away when i was in Sec 1. Some of you guys would go like... Big f***ing deal but you dont know what happened after that. What became of me, the state of my family... at tat pt of time i had 4 other siblings and mum was pregnant with my lil bro. We went thru a lot of hardships, still do. I was forced to live away from my family, but now its by choice cause i dont want to burdern my family...Secondary sch life started to suck, 'O' level results was disastrous... i guess ITE saved me in a way... i re-evaluated my life, got involved in a lot of activities, made awesome friends, studied like crazy (some of my friends teased that my middle name was stress haha...) got my life back on track in a way... Well this is just a summary of my academic life, a lot of stuff happened other than academically which i will only answer if asked personally cause its personal =)
Its really tempting to tell you guys everything but you guys wld get bored. seriously. and anyway wat's so intresting bout my life anyway? haha...
i dont even know why i telling you guys all this... sigh.. well anyway this IS my blog and i'll say anything i feel like saying so there =D

||:PreCiouS:||
1/26/2004 12:00:00 AM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.