|
You Are a Peppermint Cappuccino
You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.
However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.
You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.
You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please
What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-)
You Are A Perfect Date!
Your manners are always spot on
And you know how to make a guy feel great...
...While still letting him do a bit of the chase
Chances are, your only dating problem is too many offers :-)
Are You a Good Date? Take This Quiz
Now i'm going like, what offers? haha... =P
||:PreCiouS:||
4/28/2004 12:48:00 PM
||||
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
One thing gd abt blogger is that you can type anything you want and at the end of it not publish it and just save it under drafts =) Save u the hassle of deleting your entry and instead of deleting it you can actually view it and edit it later.... =P
Tuesday... well... hmm... went back to school in the afternoon cause i had appt to see someone... didnt expect it to last that long... neither did i expect to talk that much... =P Went to the lib after tat to borrow a bk and basically went back home... i was actually in a mood to go out but since no one i msged was free and since i have no place to go i pretty much went back home... sigh...
Decided to do something crazy today but not gonna tell you guys what =P my own sweet little secret =P you guys will find out soon enough hehehe....
Hmm so what should i do tomorrow? Well nuraini cancelled out on me so i'm basically free... as usual... what can a gal do in singapore that's intresting when her friends aint free to hang out? oh dont suggest shopping unless you're willing to sponsor... =P
I wonder if there's any exhibitions going on....
||:PreCiouS:||
4/27/2004 11:56:00 PM
||||
SoNg of ThE DaY
The Reason
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
||:PreCiouS:||
4/27/2004 11:46:00 PM
||||
Calm after the storm
well thats basically me =) calm after the storm... i know some of you ppl are starting to dislike my entries but then hey why in the world are you ppl stil reading this in the first place? =P
Woohoo finally the exams are over! I'm welcoming the hols with open arms but then there's the boredem that will come together with it.. shucks... not all gd things are gd =P
The paper today was pretty much okay but tort is still the best paper i've had so far =) Well after the paper went to parkway parade with nad, SC and Amin to eat at banquet, i've been craving for the hot and sour hoon kwey hehe... so i suggested to have lunch there since we had time in our hands... was actually suppose to have our mini picnic at our usual playgrd i'm not really quite sure what happened to that plan.. hmm... well anyways after lunch we went to the arcade hehehe... its been a long time since i played time crisis2 =D so much fun to vent out frustration on shooting bad guys hehe... oh and then the four of us raced and guess who won? moi! wahaha.. i actually got first =P hehe...
Well Amin soon had to leave so us three ladies went ard PP lookin at stuff and we ended up at MPH's cafe were we basically slacked...
Oooh and the evening we ended up in mei yan's house well exculding SC and replacing Mel in the pic. =P Kay, Michelle, Brandon and MX were already there and they had cooked dinner! Pasta and chicken curry yumyum well i only had the chicken curry and it was really spicy! and gosh i seriously donno how long they left the chicken curry to cook cause most of the meat was seperated from the bones wahaha... i'm reminded of how Dr Kay Scapetta wld boil the remains of the dead body of a burnt victim to remove their flesh to examine their bones haha.. gross i know haha... but anyway it was nice curry =D gd effort guys =)
Well as the hours went by some ppl started to leave so the rest of us slacked until 11.30 i think, afraid of missing the bus home.. haha... hmm.. only reached home bout 12.30 something i think... well it was dark cldnt see the watch clearly and now here i am blogging away... i wonder what my days wld be like during the next few days... haiz...
but there's definitely plans for ice-skating! cant wait! so looking forward to it hehe... melly beware! gonna push in the middle of the rink muahaha.... =P
||:PreCiouS:||
4/27/2004 01:51:00 AM
||||
Monday, April 26, 2004
Everytime
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
||:PreCiouS:||
4/26/2004 01:53:00 AM
||||
Sunday, April 25, 2004
it sucks when emotions hit you all at once... and here i'm sitting down here crying trying to stop the tears. Now why i'm crying no one would understand. The shit i've gone thru and put up eversince i've been there. Being laughed at, being the butt of jokes. yeah that's me. Always been always will be. No matter how hard i try it is still the same. How hard i work, how hard i try i'll still be the odd one. I just dont get it. What am i doing wrong. What have i done wrong? Then u see unjust done, u see the unfairness, the biasness, the pretense, u wonder why u are here. I was sent there for one reason. I was sent there cause my mum cldnt possibly support all of us cause she's not working. Mum asked me before if i wanted to come back home but i declined cause even tho how much i wanna come home i couldnt. i was obliged to stay. For my family. I couldnt be a furthur burden. I missed my lil bro growing up, heck i missed all my siblings growing up, going thru diff stages of their lives...i havent been doing wat an elder sis was suppose to do... i suck as an elder sis... i try to make amends, whenever i'm at home i give in, even tho i'm not working i'll try and give em some money when they ask for it... sometimes i realise whatever i'm doing is not enuff... Life hasnt been fair. With all of this going on i got very sick. I went to various operations to get better. Mum was at my hospital bedside everyday... i cant begin to imagine how tired she must be going back and forth...
Wonder why i dont have a best friend? Well i'm not always at one place long enuff to have one. Wat i realise is i always lose ppl i'm close too and then i'm left alone... i've always been a loner... the bookworm... the geek... ppl only come to me when they dont have anyone else to turn to... i'm always the last resort...
Then i learned to pick myself up... to move on... you've gotta look on the bright side rite? tats wat i did... ITE was my salvation. I had my ups and downs but the friends i made there was my salvation... i thank god that i had them at that period of time...
but sometimes... sometimes... emotions come back when its triggered... when lines are crossed... i donno.. sorrie if u think i'm one sensitive biatch... sometimes i'm so messed up... i've been broken so many times tat i donno if i'll mend properly... the feeling of loneliness doesnt help either...
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yhea you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
||:PreCiouS:||
4/25/2004 11:32:00 PM
||||
The Class of IS0107P (02/03) & 1SC1 (01/02)
Was going thru my old ITE photos (yes it seems like i'm going thru a lot of ol' stuff =P ) and gosh i really miss all you guys! well all the guys are in NS now, i wonder how everyone got into army except wan who landed in police... haikal and amin just started and are now in Tekong, most of the gals are working either with SIA or someplace where our admin skills wld come in useful and some are in the various poly furthuring our studies... gosh... its been a yr since we've graduated... i miss all the fun we used to have, the chillin out sessions in the canteen esp when it was Mr Foong's class or during WP class... the class outings and i esp remembered the valentime's day when the guys bought roses and for all the gals in the class that was really sweet of the guys... i esp miss Mr Erick too haha... the coolest tutor i know.. heard he's gonna retire soon.. migrating to Australia i heard to find himself a wife... haha.. singaporean ladies not gd enuff isit haha...
Well memories of K-Oz are still with me... really sad that some of em went their seperate ways... the rest... how abt a reconciliation? We should meet up ya?
When are we gonna have a class reunion??? Guys when are your days off? I'm not tat familiar with ur NS schedule ya know. Gals? When do u gals get off work?? I know i've been pretty busy with school and well the hols officially start for me after monday so i'm pretty much free after tat! Gosh really really miss you ppl! Oh and dont forget to keep in touch thru our yahoo grps board ya! cheers!
||:PreCiouS:||
4/25/2004 09:55:00 PM
||||
Saturday, April 24, 2004
How I wish it was true...
You have a guardian angel no doubt about it. Even
though you haven't exactly seen him, he's
watching over you without-a-doubt.. who knows..
maybe it's love?
would an angel, demon, or pure evil fall for you? (now w/ pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
||:PreCiouS:||
4/24/2004 11:55:00 PM
||||
more of em...
FIRST
First girl best friend: i've never had a girl best friend.. sobsob...
First guy best friend: well wan keep calling me his best friend... so he's da first...
First date: cant say i've really gone out on a date.. yes i'm deprived... wahaha...
First break up: how can i break up if i've never been attached? sheesh...
First self purchased album: hmm.. i think it was a BSB album =P
First Funeral: ...well... i think it was dad's...
First pets: a gold fish... RIP....
First piercing/tattoos: used to have piercings on my ears but not anymore...
First enemy: why have enemies?
First play/musical/performance: Chang and Eng (i think..)
CURRENT
Current girl best friend: well... refer to above...
Current guy best friend: well... so far only wan hehe... so wan u shld be honored =P
Current marital status: single
Current song playing: Here without you -Three Doors Down
Current thoughts: bored and sleepy
Current emotions: neutral
Current status online: online
Current fav person: cant think of one...
Current wonder: well... something i wont mention... =P
Current instrument played: piano, watever i can remember
Current need: Sprite! i'm thirsty... =P
LAST
Last cigarette: I dont smoke *phooey*
Last kiss: ....
Last good cry: i dont rem...
Last movie seen: i think it was the butterfly effect...
Last beverage drank: Tap water
Last food consumed: apple
Last crush: well...
Last phone call: yesterday when i was returning nad's call after the paper...
Last tv showed: quarantine
Last time showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: my skechers shoes
Last Cd Played: Kelly clarkson's thankful
Last item bought: McDonalds
Last annoyance: this afternoon.. someone drank my sprite!
Last icecream eaten: velvet choc
Last time wanting to die: after the econs paper.. argh! farking disaster!
Last shirt worn: my red tee
Last website visit: miniclip.com
||:PreCiouS:||
4/24/2004 11:20:00 PM
||||
dont u just love quizzes/questionnaires when u're absolutely bored? wahaha... =P
. . W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .
1) pierce your nose or tongue?
Erm none…
2) be serious or be funny?
Depends on the situation
3) drink whole or skim milk?
Full cream milk! How can anyone drink skim milk? *bealch*
* . . . A R E Y O U . . .*
4) simple or complicated?
Wat do u think ;P
* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
5) flowers or angels? Erm this is for wat again?
6) grey or gray? Wats the diff?
7) colored or black-and-white photos? It depends on what kind of photos acutually
8) lust or love? love
9) sunrise or sunset? both. =D
10) M&Ms or Skittles? Both =)
11) rap or rock? Anything tats good to listen to
12) staying up late or waking up early? Both has its perks =D
13) TV or radio? both~
15) eating apples or oranges? Apples!
* . . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . .*
16) Do you have a crush?: I donno anymore
17) Who is it? Lets move on shall we…
* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . .*
18) being hot or cold? Cold then can warm up to someone wahaha…
19) tall members of the opposite sex? Erm well lets see since I’m tall it’s a plus point wldnt it =)
20) sun or moon? moon
21) emeralds or rubies? Rubies cause its red =)
22) left or right? right.
23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 best fren
24) sun or rain? Depends on my mood
25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? Choc of course!
26) green beans or carrots? carrots
27) low fat or fat free? Wats the diff?
* . . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . . *
29) What is your biggest fear in the world? Falling head over heels in love…
30) Kids or no kids? I love kids =)
31) Cat or dog? cat~
32) Half empty or half full? half full
33) Mustard or ketchup? Chilli?
34) Hard cover books or soft cover books? Soft cover
35) Newspaper or magazine? both
36) Sandals or sneakers? sneakers
37) Wonder or amazement? amazement.
38) Red car or white car? Red!
39) Happy and poor or sad and rich? Poor but happy
40) Singing or dancing? singing
41) Hugging or kissing? Well…
42) Corduroy or plain? Depends…
43) Happy or sad? happy
* . . . A B O U T Y O U . . . *
What time is it? 10.30pm
Full name: Nur Azizah
Nicknames: Azi,zizie, aziz, u know how some ppl come up with creative names well now I’m pretty much stuck with DJ Kam don’t ask me why… =P
Number of candles that appeared on your last
birthday cake? I don’t rem there being candles on the cake…
Date that you regularly blow them out? If I’m fortunate enuff on my bdae…
Height? Last time I checked was… 1.74m…
Eye color? dark brown..
Hair color? Dark brown
Piercings? no piercings watsoever
||:PreCiouS:||
4/24/2004 10:40:00 PM
||||
One more paper to go! Cant wait! Tort paper just now was... well better then expected if only more time was given then could have elaborated more but no sweat *fingers crossed* =P Oh yea i bet a lot of ppl were stumped at qs 1 well i was initially when i read it the first time cause the scenario seems to be perfect but then i managed to get which statement was wrong. yay! haha.. i know lame... =P Went straight home after the paper today cause 1) i was really sleepy and tired 2) donno where to go cause everyone seems to be going in diff directions.... Haiz... So went home and slept even tho i was v.hungry no strength to eat haha... but no worries eaten already hehe.. =P
Was chatting with melly just now right after we submitted our papers abt plans for the hols and as i go thru my agendas in my head.. well... the only thing that seems to be confirmed is SL camp. Tats it. Wat am i suppose to do for the one month of holidays? I definitely can't work so the only thing i figured that i'll be doing mostly nothing. Yes someone once told me that i should appreciate doing nothing but then one cant do absolutely nothing for so long! hello! it gets boring ya know! I need to do something! haiz the problem with me haha....
So here i am at home doing nothing, yes i know i should be preparing for the next paper but then i think i'll only start later.. maybe tmr?hehe =P Feel like going out but donno where to go and everyone seems to have plans except me and to add to that i'm pretty much broke cause i've not been getting my usual allowance cause i'm at home not there and i dont dare to ask mum for allowance... haiz... wonder if there's any interesting free performance at the esplanade today...
Oh ya i have a new e-mail addy.. why do i have a new one? well... it seems that me blogging a lot has made me an active user so they want me to try out this new e-mail thingy by google called g-mail so why not =D so you guys can also e-mail me on my new e-mail addy nikizah@g-mail.com =)
well... hmm... wat else should i talk abt... ok seriously i'm bored... no one to chat with... no one online... haiz... i'm having one of those days.. wasting away... my saturdays are getting suckier and suckier as the weeks go by... i need a social life! LoL =P
||:PreCiouS:||
4/24/2004 06:58:00 PM
||||
Guilty...
I was going through one of my e-mail accounts (yes i have a lot of e-mail a/cs go figure =P) and i came upon an old e-mail from a friend. I felt really guilty after reading the e-mail again. In the e-mail the person told me abt how the person is not comfortable in certain situations and some other stuff. Why did i felt guilty? Cause at one point of time i was angry with this person and after reading this e-mail i realised that the person has explained to me before why but i guess its no excuse for me to have forgotten... and i'm sorry...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/24/2004 06:43:00 PM
||||
The problem with me...
yes u read it right the first time... the topic for today is the problem with me.
Have you ever been in a situation when everything you do seems to be wrong and every right u try to do ends up with two wrongs? Have you ever dreamed of doing something or better yet even planned to do something but then you're too afraid to do it or you dont even dare to do it? Have you ever been in a situation when everything u do counts from preparations to doing the actual thing and u screwed it all up cause you aint good enuff? Have you ever been in a situation where ppl step all over u but then u say nothing and letting it be? Have you been in a situation when u are with a loved one or in fact any person you're close to and the person looks at you with dissapoinment in their eyes?
... well the list can go on if i let it...
i've never proclaimed to be a perfect person, hell no one is...
ppl make mistakes, i sure hell do make a lot of em...
the thing is sometimes mistakes are not forgotten...
especially painful ones... or even stupid ones...
mistakes that lead me to paths that i did not choose to take...sure everyone has a choice... but not always...
there also mistakes that would never be forgiven....
lets move on to another area...
my mum mentioned this two days ago... she said since i was young i had a creative mind, coming up with loads of ideas and plans... but the thing with me is that i always leave it as that. I always stay in my comfort zone. That was it. I'm always gd at the planning but never the execution of the plan. Now and then i try to get out of my comfort zone and damn does it feel gd, well awkward at first but gd. But then sometimes fear sets in and sometimes u see me still in my comfort zone even now. Remember 040404? one gd example. That's the problem with me sometimes.
Sometimes there comes a point of time when i ask myself who am i really? Who is the real me? Try asking diff ppl about me and diff ans might pop up... there's the noisy crazy me, the v.quiet silent me, the hot tempered me and the mix of everything me. Sometimes its like i put on diff masks at diff times to hide what's really inside and overtime it gets confusing. So when i take down the mask who is the real me? Who is really Nur Azizah? Is she who she is?
With me always being mixed up messed up no wonder i cant seem to find anyone who likes me for me. Seriously name me one person who does. I bet no one would ever dare to fall in love with me cause i'll bet they'll just run in the opposite direction. I would like to see someone try... haha... My life aint exactly what you'll call normal.
Sometimes i wonder why some ppl have high regards on me, high expectations in me... what do they see in me that i dont see? Whenever i look in the mirror i just dont get it. Why these expectations when i've never done anything highly regarded or great in any sense of the word.
The problem with me sometimes is that i'm too trusting and too nice. Well i can be bitchy at times in all sense of the word but my niceness overpowers my bitchiness. Its good in a sense but my niceness is the reason why its so easy for me to be stepped on, to be taken advantage of especially when i'm too trusting that's when i usually get stabbed in the back. Somebody tell me where am i going wrong? What am i doing wrong?
Oh and one more thing have your readings of my blog entries change your perceptions of me? I'm just wondering....
Pls note here that i dont hate me or dislike me... i accept who i am and i like the way i am rite now... this is just a reflection of thoughts... i have more to learn about myself... yes i know negative thinking aint gd but its a gd wake up call and reality check =P
If you hated what u just read you can just click on the 'x' on the top right hand corner...
cheers!
||:PreCiouS:||
4/24/2004 02:01:00 AM
||||
Friday, April 23, 2004
Shocker
Well AI3's results was a shocker. All three divas were the bottom three. Jennifer Hudson was the one who was given the boot. the thing is she's becoming better and better... well... i'm guessing the votes were not on talents tat night...
Like always the OC was great. Ryan is so cute. haha... well...
another birthday shout out to....
Mr Apri
So well a year older, a year wiser (gosh am i really saying this haha.. j/k) you're indeed a gd friend and i do hope all your gd deeds will come back a thousand fold. All the best in all your future endeavors! Best Wishes! God Bless!
||:PreCiouS:||
4/23/2004 02:43:00 AM
||||
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Wat's on tv on Wednesday
American Idol 3
Today's AI3 was superb! Barry Manilo's Special...
All the singers was superb well just one thing tho john steven's spoiled 'Mandy' for me haiz.. but nvm gd effort...
Okie of all those who are out i miss JPL the most!
Check the link out! JPL is so darn cute! haha...
check this out!
(better viewed on real player)
CSI: Miami
Well... as interesting as the original but i miss the original cast... The original is more fast paced and i absolutely love the cast... but gotta give miami props tho for its plots...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/22/2004 01:08:00 AM
||||
Happy Birthday to....
Amin!
Heyz! Happy Birthday dear friend. So how does it feel like to finally reach 18? so here i am wishing you all the best in all your endeavors! i know you've been feeling kinda down lately but cheer up alright =) things will definitely get better =) rem all of us are here for you alrite =D cheers!
oh and not forgetting another bdae boy....
Xuan!
Ah Xuan! brudder! Not sure if you read my blog but... Happy Birthday all the same! Havent catch up with you for quite some time now... if only u turned up for the Sui Generis Gathering... You missed out on the pie that ms lim specially made for you! well there's always the next time... =) well brudder all the best to you too... gonna miss you during the hols but hopefully we'll be in the same class again next sem =) cheers!
||:PreCiouS:||
4/22/2004 12:23:00 AM
||||
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Happy Birthday to me!
i was looking at the calender at my living room wall when i noticed something.... it was my birthday yesterday! erm well according to the islamic calender that is... 30th Safar... well happy birthday to me then =P lalalala....
well anyways was suppose to go to school today to get some studying done...but well... slept really "early" today so i woke up pretty late so i didnt see the point of goin to sch already so here i am at home trying to get some work done.. which i will do as soon i finish this entry =P
I think after the examinations are over i wanna go cycling or ice skating or something.. basically do something fun... anyone up for it?
Hmm funnily enuff now i feel like going down to the arcade to shoot some bad guys haha... havent played that game for quite some time already hehe... haiz... i should get back to work rite... cheers ppl... =)
||:PreCiouS:||
4/21/2004 05:52:00 PM
||||
Here's another song...
The Way
Theres something bout the way you look tonight,
Theres something bout the way that i can't take my eyes off you. Theres
something bout the way your lips invite, maybe its the way that i get nervous when your around.
And I want you to be mine and if u need a reason why,
[Chorus:]
It's in the way that you move me, and the way that you tease me, the way that I want you tonight,
It's in the way that you hold me, and the way that you know me, when I can't find the right words to say,
You feel it in the way, you feel it in the way.
Theres something bout how you stay on my mind,
theres something bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep Oh no.
Maybe its the look you get in your eyes. Oh baby its the way that makes me feel to see you smile.
And the reasons they may change but what i'm feeling stays the same.
[Chorus]
I can't put my fingers on just what it is that makes me love you, you baby.
So don't ask me to describe, I get all choked up inside, just thinking bout the way.
[Chorus]
There's something bout the way you look tonight.
There's nothing more to say then, I feel it in the way.
||:PreCiouS:||
4/21/2004 03:39:00 AM
||||
this song has been playing over and over in my head and it cant seem to stop... haiz...
One Last Cry
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
[Chorus:]
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry
Cry.....
I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
[Chorus:]
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I goota put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/21/2004 02:22:00 AM
||||
Life is actually one big play...
if you could contribute a verse...
what would it be?
||:PreCiouS:||
4/21/2004 01:59:00 AM
||||
Two down three to go....
The infamous MBS paper.. sigh... the paper turned out as expected.. crapped most of my way thru... and sitting under the sweltering sun did not help one bit. Its bad enuff that we have to sit for the paper in the sports hall in the humid wheather and to add to that my table was directly situated under the sun... its like doing two things at once.. sunbathing and sitting for the exams... and the best part is my last two papers are at the same venue... can somebody just put me in the oven? It saves the trouble you know of me having to sit there roasting... =P okok i'm whining here arrgh!! dear god pls let it rain... i'm sitting in a room with two fans turned on and its still hot! haiz... ok i shouldnt complain...
Well after mbs paper instead of preparing for friday's paper, me, mel, SC, kay and nad went to the SAR to bascially lepak haha... oh and we were joined by Amin later... We actually stayed there untill abt close to 8? I wonder where did the time went.. haha... oh and ard 5 or so we heard bout the collapse of nicole highway... well actually we found out thru mel's mum... and mel intially thot his mum was joking until the msg registered in his brain...haha... even tho the collapse is said to be in an isolated area luckily it wasnt during rush hour.. thats all i'm gpnna say..
Had dinner later with mel, nad and Amin... it was fun actually... well had amin as company why wouldnt it be fun well not that i dont have fun with u guys but well somebody was actually unusally very quiet at most part of the meal.. i wonder why... =P
||:PreCiouS:||
4/21/2004 01:49:00 AM
||||
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
One down four to go... oh gawd and here i am blogging.. haha... seriously someone pls hide my laptop somewhere so that i wont be able to find it... damn... haha.. but to me blogging helps actually.. helps release tension haha.. i'm not as stressed up as i'm suppose to be rite now... i wonder why.. hmm...
Well at least i didnt go to the arcade just now like some ppl i wont mention *ahem ahem*.. =D
A thought came to me just now... have u ever felt like that ppl expect a lot from you, look up to you but then sometimes you just dont or cant deliver because of a reason or another...because of this expectations you do your upmost best but it aint good enuff and to some ppl they wld say its ok and we did our best but then to ourselves its a self-dissapointment...
I'm just wondering if any of you ever felt that way, cause i have and it aint the best feeling in the world...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/20/2004 01:13:00 AM
||||
Sunday, April 18, 2004
oh gawd its 5.15 already and i'm multi tasking wahaha.. studying mbs, watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and blogging at the same time... wahaha.. crazie i know... i'm finally realizing that i get bored easily... i'm not a big fan of routine and i cant sit still longer then 15 mins if i find something boring... like now haha.. i know i should seriously be mugging but somehow my mind is somewhere else.. where i'm not quite sure but believe me i'm not as stressed as i used to be.. funnily enough i'm relaxed in a way.. its like what ever you've got just bring it on! =P
Man staying up all night makes a person really hungry.. my stomach's growling and the only thing that can salvage my hunger rite now is biscuits! well cause that's the only thing i have rite now beside me... like thats gonna make me full... sigh... i seriously feel like going cycling rite now.. haha.. wierd huh... its so damn stuffy.. havent been out of the house since friday evening need to get out! yes i'm a person who needs loads of space... feel damn uncomfortable if i'm confined anywhere for too long... sigh... its so dark outside now... i'm actually sitting next to the window and all the neighbouring blks are still dark... no one is awake yet except for those few souls who needs to go to work on a sunday morning...
been blog hopping just now it seems like i'm like one of the very very few who's been regularly updating. Shows how "free" i am haha...
hmm mbs making me sian already.. so now i'm gonna switch to crim law...
orite should get back to work...
cheers!
||:PreCiouS:||
4/18/2004 05:27:00 AM
||||
Had a talk with mum just now... well mum did most of the talking actually... the main topic was abt my cuz who apparently ran away from home.... Apparently grandpapa and grandmama came down just now when i was taking a nap... and grandpapa apparently got angry with mum cause her point of view and his point of view was different on the issue of my cuz. Mum reanacted to me the whole convo and what she said actually sets me thinking about god and life. I admit i've never been really close with any of my cousins... why? maybe its just me, i've always been the one who keeps to myself whenever there's a gathering. Anyways, whatever this cuz of mine is going thru i can understand what she is feeling. I dont think i'd tell the whole story cause its not mine to tell but what really set me thinking was the convo between mum and grandpapa (oh grandmama was quiet througout the convo it seems)... It came down to deeds, gratitude, god and religious prophesy. Something that grandpapa said really hit a raw nerve. He said something abt our family always being sick and it was our fate. Ouch. seriously. ouch. Yes my family is not like the other families. Some ppl view sickness as a curse but like mum said it can be a blessing. It is a blessing because no other ppl have what we have. God chose us to lead this life because he knows that we can handle whatever comes our way when others cant. Deeds. When we do a good deed do we expect anything else in return? The thing is when you expect someting back in return you're not doing it out of the goodness of your heart. Once you bring it up to get something back in return the value of the good deed is gone.... Love... can someone actually love you 100%? Acc. to mum no. The love between husband and wife, mother and child, etc... thats the reality of it. some of you may argue about it but then think about it... as a person everyone has their own needs, would a person sacrifice everything for another? Well in a rare case when there is such a person there would surely be a thought that crosses one's mind about themselves... its only human nature... so if you think someone can love another 100% think again (sigh that applies to moi too...) haiz.. actually there was much more that was said but then it is too long and complicated to explain here... but like i said it got me thinking a lot... mum also kinda reavealed what she's really feeling inside... feeling about us... her children... raising 6 of us without dad isnt easy... No matter how strong a person is they have their vulnerabilities... today i saw mum's... she's gone through so much for us.. she sacrificed a lot for us... and i know we've dissapointed her time and time again... but still she's always there when we need her support... how she stood up for us when ppl look down on us... Nothing in the world can every repay her for everything she's done for us... Thank you mum... i know i dont say it as often as i want to but i love you =)
A tribute to mum...
It takes a lot to know what is love
It’s not the big things, but the little things
That can mean enough
A lot of prayers to get me through
And there is never a day that passes by
I don’t think of you
You were always there for me
Pushing me and guiding me
Always to succeed
You showed me
When I was young just how to grow
You showed me
Everything that I should know
You showed me
Just how to walk without your hands
God has been so good
Blessing me with a family
Who did all they could
And I’ve had many years of grace
And it flatters me when I see a smile on your face
I wanna thank you for what you’ve done
In hopes I can give back to you
And be the perfect daughter
You showed me how to love
You showed me how to care
And you showed me that you would
Always be there
I wanna thank you for that time
And I’m proud to say you’re mine
I love you mum
||:PreCiouS:||
4/18/2004 12:30:00 AM
||||
Saturday, April 17, 2004
I guess some of you must be sick of me posting up song lyrics haha... well actually song lyrics that i put up are not there for show. What ever the lyrics contains and what it means sometimes relates to part of my life, what i'm feeling... Part of my life that i'm not sure how to put down in words, thus the lyrics haha... so bear with me here... well if you are good in deduction you'd understand why some of the lyrics are there and the reasons behind each.. i'm not gonna simply tell you what each stands for in my life... ahh.. the beauty and mystery of words... =)
||:PreCiouS:||
4/17/2004 11:49:00 PM
||||
I Believe In You
I never believed in dreaming, it never got me very far.
I never believed that love could find me, like an arrow through the heart.
I never believed in miracles, or building castles in the air.
Not until that day I found you, turned around and you were there.
From the day you came, you gave me, a whole new point of view.
I've been touched by an angel, it's impossible, but true.
I believe in you.
I swear that forever from today, no one will ever take your place.
I believe in you.
And I believe our love will last always.
I never believed in fairy tales, tho sometimes I wish I could,
I never believed that golden slippers could ever find the perfect foot.
I never believed in magic, or that wishes could come true,
But your very kiss changed all this, something only you could do.
You made me a believer, you made me trust again,
You showed there's a pot of gold, at every rainbow's end.
I believe in you.
I swear that forever from today, no one will ever take your place.
I believe in you.
And I believe our love will last always.
Only love, sets you free,
And if you serve to fate, then you're my destiny.
Now I know, now I see.
Anything can happen, if you just believe.
||:PreCiouS:||
4/17/2004 11:27:00 PM
||||
I Feel You
They gave me a life that’s not so easy to live
And then they sent me on my way
I left my love and forgot my dreams
I lost them along the way
Those little things you say
When words mean so much
You never back down
And they all shy away
You always listen to me
And what do I get to get me through these sleepless nights?
And what do I have to hold when no one’s there to hold me tight
And what do I see? the only thing that gets me through this is what I feel and I feel you
And this ain't no bed of nails
But there not roses just the same
Got this road sure can be long
Another endless day, another seven hundred miles that’ll take me further from my home
Those little things you say
When words mean so much
You never back down
And they all shy away
You always listen to me
And what do I get to get me through these sleepless nights
And what do I have to hold when no one’s there to hold me tight
And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this is what I feel and I feel you
I know what you’re going through now
Believe me I live this
And what do I care to get me through these sleepless nights
And what do I have to hold when no one’s there to hold me tight
And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this is what I feel and I feel you
||:PreCiouS:||
4/17/2004 05:44:00 AM
||||
Hmm the weekend has arrived and its the time to really hit the books. Exams starts on monday.. first paper: crim law... not too worried bout the law subjects... more worried on the biz subjects actually esp anything to do with equations... i admit i'm not a mathematical person, i really suck at equations... reason why i flunked 'D' maths... and 'A' maths... and physics... haha.. oh and for the benefit of those who are wondering how come i got into L&M in the first place, no i didnt use my 'O'level results to get in, well except for the reference made to my english grade, i used my ITE results... but funnliy enough i find a/c interesting and did well for that subj in ITE haha...
haiz oh well...
Oh yea MH celebrates his birthday today...
oh yea u still owe Ms LPB for the pie she nicely made for you and you going MIA which put all ms lim's efforts into vain.. tsktsk... the only good outcome of it was that we all got to eat the pie for you hurhur... haha.. well anyways best wishes to you in all your endevours! god bless!
Hmm... should really get back to my studying actually.. argh so many things to go thru so little time... sigh...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/17/2004 04:23:00 AM
||||
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Now why in the world am i blogging like nobody's business in the wee hours of the morning while everyones tucked comfortably in their comfortable beds? and i have lecture at 9am to boot hmm... well cause i'm actually trying to get some studying done haha... exams are in like... one.. two... three days! argh! i'm seriously treading on very dangerous waters rite now... and here i am blogging... really... hopeless i tell u... haha... oh yea did u know nescafe 3in1 mix together with milo 3in1 actually makes a good cup of mocha? seriously it does! tastes exactly like the cafe mocha u get at starbucks! haha.. finally found an economically cheap way of getting cheap good mocha =D
Damn my shins still hurts, when is it gonna get better lehz and i still cant walk as normal sometimes argh! damn frustrating siah...
Oh yea went for a piano recital just now haha.. yup u read correctly.. a piano recital @ VCH.. my first time watching haha... hmm my take on it... it was pretty gd but thru the performance i was thinking abt the peeps who were having fun over at the esplanade watching saturday night fever wahaha... but i like the ending tho, was preety cool. Went there with mx, meiyan and kay. We actually had two extra tix (the tix was free courtesy frm mr fj) but cldnt find anyone else who was interested. We actually felt underdressed cause majority of the peeps there were so nicely dressed, i'm figuring this ppl are those high flying society ppl, well at least we werent that shabby we were pretty alright i suppose.
Been at home for the past week cause i cant possibly go back there due to my leg injury. Climbing four flight of stairs everyday is not something that's easy with an injured leg... may be going back there at the end of the week.. haiz...
Since i'm at home get to catch up on stuff tats been going on at home. Sis is doing better now. Able to move ard now and as irritating as usual haha... Mum is attending this course that MCDS or was it MUIS wants her to attend in order to receive the welfare fund... The things mum go thru for us... i totally salute her... my two bros are the same as usual if not playing their PS2 they'll be sleeping or watching tv donno wat to do with em' then there's my lil sis head in the clouds as usual and my lil bro the one who puts up with all his elder sis' and bros' antics haha... never really said this to em but i really love em all even tho how frustrated i get with them sometimes they're still family =)
Darn its 3.15am already... sigh... need to get some studying done... how in the world am i gonna wake up early also i donno... haiz... cant afford to miss crim law lect this time, mr lim goin thru some exam stuff... okiez shld sign off now shldnt i? haha...
cheers ppl =)
||:PreCiouS:||
4/15/2004 03:16:00 AM
||||
"You Won't Be Mine"
Take your head around the world
See what you get
From your mind
Write your soul down word for word
See who's your friend
Who is kind
It's almost like a disease
I know soon you will be
Over the lies, you'll be strong
You'll be rich in love and you will carry on
But no - oh no
No you won't be mine
Take your straight line for a curve
Make it stretch, the same old line
Try to find if it was worth what you spent
Why you're guilty for the way
You're feeling now
It's almost like being free
And I know soon you will be
Over the lies, you'll be strong
You'll be rich in love and you will carry on
But no - oh no
No you won't be mine
Take yourself out to the curb
Sit and wait
A fool for life
It's almost like a disease
I know soon you will be
Over the lies, you'll be strong
You'll be rich in love and you will carry on
But no - oh no
No you won't be mine
"Bent"
If I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
And if I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk
If I need some other love
Give me more than I can stand
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I’ll smile again
Shouldn’t be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Just hold me again
Can you help me I’m bent
I’m so scared that I’ll never
Get put back together
You’re breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent
If I couldn’t sleep could you sleep
Could you paint me better off
Could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I’m jaded
Just phoning it in
Just breaking the skin
Can you help me I’m bent
I’m so scared that I’ll never
Get put back together
You’re breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent
Start bending me
It’s never enough
I feel all your pieces
Start bending me
Keep bending me until I’m completely broken in
Shouldn’t be so complicated
Just touch me and then
Just touch me again
Can you help me I’m bent
I’m so scared that I’ll never
Get put back together
You’re breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent
Can you help me I’m bent
I’m so scared that I’ll never
Get put back together
You’re breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent
-MatchBox 20
||:PreCiouS:||
4/15/2004 02:48:00 AM
||||
Hmm.. theres a perfect 10 dj hunt but its on the 24th!! nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! *sigh* tort paper... it just had to be on this particular date why cant they just have it on some other weekends after the exams... haiz... maybe next year then haha... mel, nad intrested? =D
||:PreCiouS:||
4/15/2004 02:33:00 AM
||||
I dont know who in the world exactly reads my blog cause ppl dont seem to tag whenever they 'drop by' and actually i dont really mind whoever wanna read the stuff that i crap here therefore...
just wanna clear up some stuff here...
When i blog i dont usually talk about a particular person, it may seem like it but its not. Unless i'm talking about someone in particular i'll just mention it. When i blog i refer to general happenings in my life. What i'm feeling then and there. I apologize if anyone gets offended by my entries. All my entries are never intended to hurt/upset anyone because my blog is an outlet for me personally. If you dont like what you read then dont read. But then human nature compels us to read.. but then how can you be so sure that i may be talking about u? Sometimes somethings so obvious is actually not that obvious at all...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/15/2004 12:45:00 AM
||||
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
ok enough with the down stuff or else i'll just go mad haha...
yes well now hmm...
oh yeah i bought alicia keys new album already yay! haha... pretty cool songs i must say listening to it right now actually hehe...
anyways i went to watch Saturday Night Fever the musical last friday. With who? Alone. yup. me watching my very first paying performance at the esplanade and i had to watch it alone. Why? First i was desperate. needed to do my arts app review and secondly i couldnt think of anyone who would love to watch it at the spur of the moment. I guess i'm the spur of the moment kind of person. I love to do things on impulse hehe... makes life interesting dont u think? The only bad side of it is that its kinda hard to find ppl who'll do stuff at the spur of the moment with you.. sigh... yes well anyways the musical was cool. was skeptic intially since its set in the 70s (not that i didnt like grease but well....) but surprisingly it was damn good. Really loved the dance cheography (did i spelled this correctly? haha... =)
What else did i do.. hmm.... well oh yea i fell down told tat story already... law advo finals... oh told tat already... oh yea cut my hair today on impulse again haha... They say its good to cut your hair cause it feels liberating, well lighter haha... well yea i feel lighter... too many down things going on lately so me cutting my hair is like trying throw away all the bad memories haha.... idle thinking but hey at least i do feel lighter haha...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/13/2004 11:52:00 PM
||||
I went to the reservoir just now to do some thinking… and I realized that I'm not the one whos changed. I’m still the same even though I may have problems of my own. I have my own viewpoints and I stick to what I know is right. I apologize if my thinking is not similar as yours but this is who I am. You may complain or talk about what I do or say but then friends dont judge. They accept each other for who they are and I donno when youre gonna realize that this is what you have been doing. I know no one's perfect, nobody is but i just hope one day you'll take a step back and look at the big picture...
Today somebody reminded me of something important that I know but I guess got muddled up somewhere in my head. They told me why I shouldnt waste my tears. This is what they reminded me:
Friends.
They reminded me that friends doesnt necessarily have to be with you always, have to have fun with you always. Friends are those ppl who will be there for you when you need them. Friends are those ppl who just let you talk about your problems and just listen. Friends are those ppl who are there for you for a thousand reasons and stand by you no matter what. Friends are those ppl who would drop whatever they are doing to go to you when you are in need. Friends are those ppl who quickly finish up whatever important stuff they are doing and come to you when you needed someone to talk to. Friends are those ppl who rush to go and find you when you switch off your phone cause they know you’re down, Friends are those who help you pick yourself up when you fall.
I’m glad I have ppl who I’m proud to call as friends.
To all my friends, thank you.
Thank you for being there for me, even though I dont say it aloud to some but your friendship means a lot.
||:PreCiouS:||
4/13/2004 06:12:00 PM
||||
I'm sorry
I'm sorry to all those who are irritated or angry at me because of one reason or the other. Even thought how much i try i donno what else to do to make you accept me for who i am. I didnt ask for my life to be full of problems. I didnt ask for my life to be messy. There were times when i need you but you werent there. I understand if you're busy. And when i was in pain you stood ten feet away from me like i had some disease. Like i wanted the pain i was feeling. It hurts. It seriously does. I wonder why i try very hard to hold back the tears as i type this out. Friendship means more to me then anything else but you'll never know how much. But i take things as it is and move on. I may be angry with u at one point but i'll just leave it as it is and let it pass. I always give in no matter how much it may hurt me. I let things slide with ppl at my expense. Yes i may bitch about it but i still give in and do it. Ppl say i bottle up too much. So at times i talk. But i guess you must be tired of me talking. I guess i must have this effect on ppl. I've mentioned this to my friend before that whoever i care about leaves me or simply goes away because of one reason or another I guess i'm a jinx. Ppl tend to get tired of me and i'm sorry for whatever i've done to make you feel this way. I'm sorry if you cant accept me for who i am. I'm sorry i cant be happy go lucky all the time. I'm sorry i'm not as fun as your other friends. I'm sorry. I'm trying to make things better but the resistance i feel is not helping at all. I'm at a loss. For whatever reason you are feeling negatively towards me for... i'm sorry...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/13/2004 03:46:00 PM
||||
Monday, April 12, 2004
At last, tort's prob 2 is finally over, funnily though its not as liberating as the end of LSM OP.. hmmz.. maybe because exams are like.. next week... not much time left and i need a lot of catching up to do...
Today was the advoc finals.. congrats are in order to edel and luwin... u guys did a fine job.
Honestly i cant wait for sem 2 to be over. I need to breathe. Hmm maybe i should set a plan to look forward to so that i'll work hard now to get there.
What i wanna/gonna do during the hols...
1 - get more sleep
2 - read
3- write
4 - go somewhere nice for a holiday
5- visit interesting places that i've never gone before
6- get stuff a home organized
more stuff will be added as the day goes by...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/12/2004 11:13:00 PM
||||
Sunday, April 11, 2004
Being thankful
I'm thankful...
for the roof over my head that provides me with shelter
for the pain i feel that reminds me that i'm alive
for the scars i have to remind me that there is hope
for the dissapointments i face that reminds me to have faith
for my family who i know would be there for me no matter what
for the friends i have who keeps me sane
for the obstacles i face that teach me to be strong
for the pain in my heart that shows me that i can love
for the people who helped me even though i say nothing
for all the 2nd chances i get even when i dont deserve it
for the mistakes i make that allow me to learn from it
for the opportunities i get to learn and give back something
for the sun which brings warmth that allows me to feel
for all the tears that i've cried that helps release the tension in me
for all the headaches i get that reminds me i can think
for the stress i get that i know i'm doing something
for the smiles i bring to ppl's faces that shows me i'm doing somthing right
for all the encouragement i get that reminds me i can do something
for beng able to be independent and not rely too much on people
for being me
||:PreCiouS:||
4/11/2004 12:57:00 PM
||||
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning it seems. Had crim law test today and honestly when i reached school i didnt feel that cheery and to add up to my so not wonderful morning i had to fall. I cant exactly recall how i ended at the bottom of the LT steps, all i remembered was going down the steps and then Mr Mat saying stop then bam i was at the bottom of the LT. At first i thought my injury wasnt that bad but as i looked at my legs the wound was bigger then expected and it was throbbing like hell. So yea now both shins are swollen and the wound is stinging like crazy. Cant even walk properly.
Wanna shout out a thank you to all those who helped me today. Ms Sylvia Lim and Mr Mat for the first aid, Latha for letting me squeeze her hand when i was in pain, Yimei for providing me with support, Marcus for carrying me along biz corridor to Ms LPB's car even tho how many times i refused, Ms LPB for driving me to her house for the CG gathering and sending me back after, MX for sending me to my front door after we left ms LPB home, and the rest who were there who helped me in one way or the other; sashi, suk ching, stella, julian, melvyn, syam, sinthu, nazira and lela.
Oh and apologies to my Tort group for not being able to make it to the meeting just now.
Well the whole day wasnt all that bad. Sui Generis had a gathering at Ms LPB house. Despite my unablity to move around muchi had fun especially towards the end. Those who were left at ard 8pm decided to play a game of 'chongkak', taboo and bluff. A lot of laughing involved hehe... well afterall laughter is the best medicine... ok seriously the pain is giving me a headache so i'll sign off here for now... cheers...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/11/2004 12:18:00 AM
||||
Friday, April 09, 2004
Shades of grey
I donno how i bring myself through the day
when everything is turing into shades of grey
Its like driving non-stop around a turnabout
the scenery is always the same
It gets nauseating
I need a new direction
How do i turn back my world into color?
The world is spinning
and it wont stop
truth be told i'm scared
alone on a ride that wont stop
I donno how i bring myself through the day
When everything's turning into shades of grey...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/09/2004 01:21:00 AM
||||
Its always about what i'd doing wrong
Its always about how everything's my fault
Its always about what i'm not giving enough of
I've given all i can give
I'm trying the best i can
Just giving, and giving
but not taking anything back
What more do you want?
I'm sorry if my actions distaste you
I'm sorry if you dont like what i write
I'm sorry if my company is not as fun as the others
I'm sorry if you think what i say is meaningless
I'm at a dead end
I dont know what i can do for you to accept me for the way i am
Maybe i should stop trying
It takes two hands to clap
but when its a one sided thing it gets tiring
Whenever i feel like i'm getting closer to a person the person turns away because somebody else's company is better. So i begin to wonder who am i really to some? Am i a person who you just see as just there? Am i a person you go to when you cant find anyone else?
The pattern i see nowadays is that i'm always getting ditched. Meetings, plans, whatever it may be. And the best thing is that it is always last minute. Not that i dont understand but how would you feel if you were in my position? My life is so messed up right now and i have incredibly thoughtful people who love to add to my load. And ironically the comments i get generally is "u should take a break" or "dont be too stressed out ok?" Wow thanks for the advice it totally helps alot. Maybe i shouldnt even mention this cause hey in life shit happens. There's nothing you can do about it no matter how you feel cause everyone's human.
I try to do my best but it seems that my best isnt the best. Can somebody please tell me what am i doing wrong cause if this goes on i'll probably end up in a mental institution.. just like where lex luthor in the current smallville episode is right now...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/09/2004 01:09:00 AM
||||
Pretenses
How do you keep up with pretenses?
Smiling when you're down,
Laughing when you're sad,
Being crazy when you're tired...
As the days go by these pretenses affects the person physically and mentally. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to control it it spins out of control. How long can a person keep wearing a mask? How long can a person keep up with the facade? When a person is going through a lot and keeps most of it to himself, it eats up inside. Eventually when its too much to handle the person breaks down. When you see this happening what do you do? What would you think? Do you consider the person weak without even knowing what the person is going through? If you think you know are you even sure what you know is EVERYTHING? How bloody sure can you be? What right do you have in judging the person? The usual remarks will always come up when this happens i.e "oh this proves that girls are weaker then guys" or "he/she is always like that let he/she be" or "like he/she is the only one with problems"... common remarks made but what are they based on? Presumptions? Assumptions? How could you even call yourself a friend then? Friends dont do that. Friends accept each other for what the person is and not what you expect out of them. With all this happening no wonder pretenses exist...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/09/2004 12:45:00 AM
||||
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
i've been asking ppl to check this particular link out and what it is suppose to show is a guy in an orange jumpsuit, on stage, playing musical pieces with his bicycle horn... and the wierdest thing is ppl are telling me that it is porn?!? How could that be? Its a windows media video file and not a website lehz.... I've checked the link four time on four seperate terminals, two at home and two in school and it all shows what it is suppose to show.. i think the only solution is to cut and paste the link instead of clicking the link...
If you wanna check the link out its...
http://grab.orsm.net/update20030917/maestro.wmv
||:PreCiouS:||
4/07/2004 12:08:00 AM
||||
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
You are a Spiritualist. Your magic flows from the
primal forces of the cosmos. You could be a
gentle Healer, a miraculous Prophet or a
spirit-summoning War-mage with the strong link
your soul provides to the realms beyond
reality. You have preternatural abilities,
intutively sensing the personality of people
you meet and discerning events yet to happen.
You enhance your aura with meditative pursuits.
You are a good judge of character but your
idealism or morality can confuse others.
Which Magical Order Are You In?
brought to you by Quizilla
ok wat in the world is a punk rawker? Do they still exist? haha...
a tree?? wahaha...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/06/2004 01:37:00 AM
||||
Sick and tired of this perpectual pain
scarred tissue of endless pain
wounds so deep
it doesnt show
unable to heal just like before
endless darkness clouds the mind
pouring rain of acidic thoughts
consuming, burning
facing the pain all alone
easier to run
replacing the pain with something numb
frozen inside
emotions aside
too little too late
if feeds
it consumes
it'll never show
too painful to let go
How do u save a losing case
endless scar tissue
and perpectual pain
invisble to the ignorant
invisible to the blind
One step forward
two steps back
how do you reach something you cant touch?
wounds so deep they never show
never go away
like a motion picture
being played in loop
Lccked away so people cant see
easier to run
replacing the pain with something numb
too little too late
it'll never show
too deep inside
just let it go
||:PreCiouS:||
4/06/2004 01:11:00 AM
||||
Wait For The Day
When you feel that you've had enough and you know that it's just too much
Don't look back, you've got to walk right on
One day soon you're gonna realise
Your time will surely come
And every day I feel I'm learning more
I search out for the positive and the rest I ignore
Our future lies in each others hands
We've got to wait for the day
When we finally say
Tomorrow will bring a better way
If we hold on to the love
Then we'll have enough
And tomorrow will bring a better day
Just because it's all been said and done
Doesn't mean you won't find the strength again to carry on
Keep the faith and you'll pick up again
Don't worry you've got to start first before you reach the end
||:PreCiouS:||
4/06/2004 12:16:00 AM
||||
I Believe
Count the day until I see you.
Always on my mind,
Never been so captivated,
Never felt so high.
If I ever fall,
would you be my saving grace,
Everytime I call,
Whether near or far,
You'd come to me always I believe in love,( don't ya know that )
I believe in truth,( always )
I believe in trust, ( since I met ya )
I believe in you, ( believe in you )
Thinking bout the way it was,
I had so much to lear.
Looking for an explanation,
I left no stone unturned.
Then you come along,
You opened up your arms.
Opened up my mind,
To a new sensation,
Feels so right this time.
||:PreCiouS:||
4/06/2004 12:15:00 AM
||||
Monday, April 05, 2004
I may not know what is giong through your mind
i may not know who i am to you
what i do know is that i'll be there for you
through rain or shine
through ups and downs
i can promise you that
you may not say it
you may not talk about it
but somehow i feel the pain
somehow i feel the fear
but i cant help you if you dont let me in
i cant help you if you keep it to yourself
but i'll be right here waiting
I'll be right here to listen
I'll be right here to comfort
Its up to you if you'll let me
all you've gotta do is call my name
and i'll be there
||:PreCiouS:||
4/05/2004 12:44:00 AM
||||
Guys (you know who you are) if you're reading this i've decided. I've decided to leave things the way it is. My choice, my decision, my life. I'm calling 040404 off. If you are in my position you'd understand. Considering all the consequences, risks and possible scenarios i think i prefer the way it is right now. If you are indeed my friends you'd respect my decision. I know your intentions are good but i hope you guys trust me on this. Things like this happen on their own time. Wnen the time comes for it i 'll know. For now i'll prefer just going with the flow.
Things happen for a reason. They always do.
I'm sorry
but i prefer doing this with no pressure.
||:PreCiouS:||
4/05/2004 12:24:00 AM
||||
Would you sacrifice your love or happiness for someone else?
I know i would. I would rather see someone else happy at the expense of my happiness rather then see them broken hearted or sad. Some may say that it is a weakness cause it easy to be taken advantage of... but i guess i'm not to worried aboiut that cause i'm used to it.
I know sometimes you've gotta stop and think for yourself for once. You can tell me this over and over again but i can be one stobborn person. I guess empathy and giving what i can has always been a part of me. Sometimes the things i do are not appreciated. I understand that. But still i continue, perssist. For what purpose i dont know. When someone is hurting, feeling down, i feel it too. and if me being a concerned friend is offensive i'll try my best to back off. Sometime i wonder why i do the things i do and get downright shit. Truth is i have no idea. I'm only human. At some point of time i'll get sick and tired of it but i'll still continue doing it, beat myself up abt it and then move on. Sometimes i wonder if there's something wrong with me...
you tell me...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/05/2004 12:15:00 AM
||||
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Trying to shake off this feeling...
Something's not right... something doesnt feel right... but i cant seem to put my finger on it... My heart feels heavy all day, like somone i know or even close to me is in agony, in pain, hurting...
had a wierd dream last night hope that whatever it is isnt connected to my dream...
hmm.. maybe its just me...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/04/2004 11:54:00 PM
||||
Saturday, April 03, 2004
Needs and Wants
All of us have our own needs and wants. But which one is more essential? Which one is more important to you? In life you need to define what is your needs and what is you wants. Basic examples of needs are for instance water, shelter, food, etc.. basically u need these things to survive. Basic example of wants are for instance the latest mp3 player, branded stuff, latest fashion accessories,etc... these are just wants. You dont need those stuff to survive. They are merely items you want for yourself. Basically whatever i've mentioned so far are stuff you should already know. So what's the point of my entry actually?
This week i've been thinking a lot about needs and wants. My needs and wants. What i need in my life right now and what i want in my life. I guess everything depends on what circumstance a person is in. Sometimes what you want isnt the best solution and what you need doesnt always come easily. And sometimes what you want and what you need may be the same.
It is very easy for a person to list down what they want in their life right now. For me what i want is to be studying something i have great interest in and truly enjoy, i want a person i can share everything with and feel safe and loved, i want my family to be unburdened from all the bad tides that we've been going thru, i want my mum to slow down and take a break cause i know how tired she is, i want to be able to do what i love to do........ the list can get longer if i allow it to be but then as i look back at this list i wonder if any of these wants would ever happen cause i realise sometimes we can never get what we want...
Needs. Needs is something that has to be done, need to have or have to happen. What i need is to do well for my semestral exams, i need more sleep, i need to help support my family, i need to be a better sister and daugher, i need to stop worrying to much, i need to push all my bad thoughts to the back of my head cause it has been affecting my work, i need a new pair of glasses cause i'm going blind.... this list can go on too if i allow it. The thing is what we need to do can't happen immediately. It takes time. It takes effort.
Actually at this point i have no idea where i'm going with this entry cause my brain is too tired to continue... i guess i'll just re-edit this entry after i get some rest and able to think straight =)
||:PreCiouS:||
4/03/2004 12:11:00 AM
||||
Friday, April 02, 2004
Being hungry
I guess i can say that i know how those ppl in survivor feels like when they are hungry and especially when its cold and raining. Havent had a decent meal for two days now. Finance is really bad rite now but what choice do i have? In singapore twenty cents in your wallet doesnt get you far.
The feeling of hunger from the stomach that slowly rises to the brain that makes you feel lightheaded especially when you are really tired is really one huge big headache. Just hope i wont pass out in the middle of the road but then that wouldnt be so tragic would it? Would most probably land up in hospital with a couple of broken bones, but at least i would get rest and 3 meals a day.(gee how pessimistic can i get?)
||:PreCiouS:||
4/02/2004 08:09:00 PM
||||
Making Decisions
When you make a wrong decision you take that as a lesson to be learnt. Before making a decision, facts are usually known to you. You may have all the facts you need, you may only know some of the facts, or you may even have only just a little which makes it hard for you to make the decision.
Sometimes in order to come up with a decision there are certain actions that need to take place first. Situations can sometimes be straightforward and sometimes it can just make your head spin. But no matter what a decision still needs to be made.
Every decision involves risks. Every decision has its advantages and disadvantages. A good example would be making business decisions. Every business decision involves risk. To invest is to risk loss; to delay is risk potential earnings. Decisions made in business can end up either hitting the jackpot or falling bankrupt.
What about decisions concerning matters of the heart? Decisions concerning family? Decisions concerning love?
When it comes to family, whatever decisions you make, makes a difference. It can bring a family closer or further apart. It is said that blood is thicker than water, in whatever decision you make the good case scenario is that it would usually be supported by your family members (note that I’m using usually and not always). But you’ve gotta be careful with your decisions when family pride, value and concerns are involved. Sometimes the simplest decision you make do make a whole lot of difference. For me the best advice is to listen to what your heart tells you.
Love. Falling in love. When you do it hits you hard, sometimes you dont know what hit you until its too late. But what if you are fortunate enough to realise it? What would you do? Will you keep to yourself or would you express it? When you are on the receiving end would you embrace it or reject it? A decision has to be made. Risk has to be taken. Would you take the risk? afterall to love is to risk rejection; to love is to risk not to be loved in return. So what do you do? When it comes to matters of the heart it cannot be compared to making business decisions afterall hearts and feelings are involved.
It takes courage to takes risks. Decisions are part and parcel of human lives. For me i have yet to make that certain decision. The dateline is drawing nearer by the minute. Am i prepared to take the risk? Am i ready to make that decision? I have yet to decide so help me god...
||:PreCiouS:||
4/02/2004 07:38:00 PM
||||
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Needed a break so decided to do this questionaire for the fun of it hehe... =P
10 IMPORTANT THINGS INSIDE
YOUR /BACKPACK /SCHOOL
BAG / HANDBAG /POCKET
(this is in no particular order)
1. handphone
2. my card holder (contains concession pass, IC, cashcard, etc)
3. discman
4. keys
5. water bottle
6. CDs
7. camera
8. pen
9. paper
10. wallet
5 THINGS THAT U REALLY WANT RIGHT NOW:
1. a nice long vacation if possible overseas somewhere far away from singapore.. ireland maybe? *hinthint*
2. my sister to get better
3. something good to happen to my family
4. a pair of actual working glasses cause my current one is not helping much
5. i want my adidas water bottle back! somehow i misplaced it today argh!
5 OF YOUR FAVORITE FOOD/DRINKS:
1. Sprite
2. Brownie with Ice Cream
3. PIzza with extra cheese!
4. Apple
5. Chocolate
5 OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS
1. Aida | (Even tho you guys are always
2. Ifah | busy with work
3. Irwan | i forgive u =) hehe...)
4. Nad
5. Kay
(melly so sowie but i ran out of slots hehe..)
5 THINGS IN YOUR ROOM
(wait i dont even have my own room... okay my personal posessions in 'my room')
1. laptop
2. my teddy bear
3. my cupboard
4. my cabinet
5. my radio
4 THINGS YOU ATE/DRANK TODAY
1. rice
2. coke
3. mcdonalds wafer ice cream
4. - (actually tats it... no wonder i'm hungry)
5 THINGS YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT
1. family
2. friends
3. water/food
4. music
5. books/writing materials
5 BOOKS/MAGS U RECENTLY READ
1. From Potter's field -Patricia Cornwell
2. Misuse of Drugs Act (for peer teaching)
3.This week's 8 days
4. yesterday's NewPaper
5. Crimnal Law text bk
1 PERSON YOU CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT...
i think some of you guys know who =P
||:PreCiouS:||
4/01/2004 11:33:00 PM
||||
.The Writer.
I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain.
I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug.
I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness,
I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time.
I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change.
I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.
.Through Their Eyes.
:: azfar
:: amin
:: apRi
:: candy::
:: celine
:: desz
:: david:
:: dexter
:: darren
:: deedee::
:: denise
:: edel
:: ernie::
:: fidz
:: haider
:: han::
:: haze
:: hally
:: huda::
:: ifah
:: indra
:: ezad::
:: jaslyn
:: jasmine
:: jay::
:: jjonsson
:: kay
:: lily
:: lin::
:: matsie
:: melvo
:: marco::
:: massy
:: mei
:: mitch
:: mraz::
:: mrbrown
:: nadz
:: naz::
:: nur
:: nurul
:: ode
:: priya::
:: peiming
:: riah
:: roihan::
:: soffie
:: sashi
:: seasons::
:: sheng
:: tania
:: vit::
:: vonny
:: xuantong
:: YoLie::
.Archive.
October 2003November 2003December 2003January 2004February 2004March 2004April 2004May 2004June 2004July 2004August 2004September 2004October 2004November 2004December 2004January 2005February 2005March 2005April 2005May 2005June 2005July 2005August 2005September 2005October 2005November 2005December 2005January 2006February 2006March 2006April 2006May 2006June 2006July 2006August 2006September 2006October 2006November 2006December 2006January 2007February 2007March 2007September 2007
.ShoutOuts.
.Reading.
.In My iPod.
.contactez-moi.
||:Email:||:Friendster:||:MSN:||
games
Twitter and Facebook SMS Updates
|
