Tuesday, April 13, 2004

I'm sorry

I'm sorry to all those who are irritated or angry at me because of one reason or the other. Even thought how much i try i donno what else to do to make you accept me for who i am. I didnt ask for my life to be full of problems. I didnt ask for my life to be messy. There were times when i need you but you werent there. I understand if you're busy. And when i was in pain you stood ten feet away from me like i had some disease. Like i wanted the pain i was feeling. It hurts. It seriously does. I wonder why i try very hard to hold back the tears as i type this out. Friendship means more to me then anything else but you'll never know how much. But i take things as it is and move on. I may be angry with u at one point but i'll just leave it as it is and let it pass. I always give in no matter how much it may hurt me. I let things slide with ppl at my expense. Yes i may bitch about it but i still give in and do it. Ppl say i bottle up too much. So at times i talk. But i guess you must be tired of me talking. I guess i must have this effect on ppl. I've mentioned this to my friend before that whoever i care about leaves me or simply goes away because of one reason or another I guess i'm a jinx. Ppl tend to get tired of me and i'm sorry for whatever i've done to make you feel this way. I'm sorry if you cant accept me for who i am. I'm sorry i cant be happy go lucky all the time. I'm sorry i'm not as fun as your other friends. I'm sorry. I'm trying to make things better but the resistance i feel is not helping at all. I'm at a loss. For whatever reason you are feeling negatively towards me for... i'm sorry...

||:PreCiouS:||
4/13/2004 03:46:00 PM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.