Friday, April 09, 2004

Its always about what i'd doing wrong
Its always about how everything's my fault
Its always about what i'm not giving enough of
I've given all i can give
I'm trying the best i can
Just giving, and giving
but not taking anything back
What more do you want?
I'm sorry if my actions distaste you
I'm sorry if you dont like what i write
I'm sorry if my company is not as fun as the others
I'm sorry if you think what i say is meaningless
I'm at a dead end
I dont know what i can do for you to accept me for the way i am
Maybe i should stop trying
It takes two hands to clap
but when its a one sided thing it gets tiring
Whenever i feel like i'm getting closer to a person the person turns away because somebody else's company is better. So i begin to wonder who am i really to some? Am i a person who you just see as just there? Am i a person you go to when you cant find anyone else?
The pattern i see nowadays is that i'm always getting ditched. Meetings, plans, whatever it may be. And the best thing is that it is always last minute. Not that i dont understand but how would you feel if you were in my position? My life is so messed up right now and i have incredibly thoughtful people who love to add to my load. And ironically the comments i get generally is "u should take a break" or "dont be too stressed out ok?" Wow thanks for the advice it totally helps alot. Maybe i shouldnt even mention this cause hey in life shit happens. There's nothing you can do about it no matter how you feel cause everyone's human.
I try to do my best but it seems that my best isnt the best. Can somebody please tell me what am i doing wrong cause if this goes on i'll probably end up in a mental institution.. just like where lex luthor in the current smallville episode is right now...

||:PreCiouS:||
4/09/2004 01:09:00 AM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.