Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I had enough
whenever things are going fine
whenever things are calm
you had to start it
why did you have to do it
dont you see where our problems are?
We are not like before
you may think every single damn thing is fine
but it is not
it is not....
finances are bad
we are sinking in quicksand
and you still think life is easy
you still think that life is all made of the pretty things
when are you gonna open your eyes?
when are you gonna open your eyes to see where we are?
Take a look around
see the big picture
we may still have a roof over our heads
at least we have food to make it thru the day
but when do you think all of this will last?
....
Then you begin to start
how a burden everything is
i'm sorry that i cant help you more
what do you want me to do?
give up my education?
i cant go on like this
i cant go on thinking that everythings my fault
because thats how i feel like everytime you say something
everytime i move on you pull me down
everytime i move on things just happen
why???
I just feel so god damn useless
nothing i do seems to be right
I just wish somehow i have support
someone who could be there when i'm down
cause i cant go to you anymore
i just cant bring myself to...
it hurts so much
it hurts so bloody much
you dont know some of the things i submit to
the things i do to make things better
and i dont have anyone to turn to
i dont have anyone...
I'm just so tired now..
there's to much guilt in me
its too much that i can hardly breathe
why is it when everything seems fine
it is just an onset of what to come?
With all this in my head
do you think school's a breeze?
my grades arent showing
i worry too much that my grades are suffering
Do you think i like what's happening?
no matter how hard i study
i get messed up
i screw up
and ppl keep saying i'm better then that
i know i'm better then that
but i'm only human
i only have one head, one heart and too many thoughts
maybe this is how my life is suppose to be
i might as well be dead
it would be better for everyone
maybe none of this would have happen
its like i did not even exist
a life better for everyone
but then i tell myself that i've gotta stay strong
i gotta keep on moving
keep on trying
cause i have no one that i can depend on
god gave me this life
and i aint gonna throw it back in his face
Maybe my day will come
maybe not now
well hopefully before i'm dead
dont tell me shit that i'm gonna live a full life
cause i know better
it may not be full in years
but i'm gonna make sure its full with how i lead my life
you may keep pulling me down
but i promise myself
no matter what
i'll pull myself back up again...

||:PreCiouS:||
5/12/2004 07:16:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.