Saturday, May 01, 2004

Something to share about the "One"

(Got this off frm somewhere, kinda intresting actually...)

Is S/He "the One"? This is a question we ask
ourselves every time we go out with someone new.
It can also be the question you ask yourself
after many years in a relationship. The simple
answer is that only you can tell.

Many researchers believe that there is no "one"
person for each of us. It is postulated that each
of us could potentially be with many different
people. But others believe that there IS one
person for everyone. That it is just about
finding that person and living happily ever
after.

So what makes someone "the One"? It depends on
what you are looking for. There are no hard and
fast rules about finding your perfect match.
There are just guidelines, some of which seem
like common sense. There are several areas in
which you should be clear when deciding if he is
The One.

Compromise: a crucial component in any successful
relationship. The amount and balance of
compromise is unique in each relationship.
However, partners need to take each other's needs
and desires into account. Compromise does not
mean giving up your own self or morals. It means
being aware that there are two people in the
relationship. Working together is necessary to
make any relationship happy and fulfilling.

Communication: the cornerstone of any successful
and healthy relationship. It isn't just about
talking; you have to really listen to and 'hear'
your partner. Everyone has their own
communication style and needs. Make sure that
yours can be fulfilled with this person.

Compatibility: you should have enough in common
that you spend time together and share mutual
activities. But you should also have enough
individual interests that you don't become
totally dependent on each other.

Emotional and physical intimacy needs: people
have a variety of needs and wants in terms of
emotional intimacy and physical affection. There
can be big differences in this area. You need to
be on the same page or there will be a lot of
tension and frustration.

Commitment: if you don't want the same things in
the short- or long-term, then you will encounter
tension and strife. Be sure you have the same
needs and desires in this area or you (or he)
could be sorely disappointed.

Level of equality: be clear on your expectations
about the sharing of responsibilities, money-
making, communication, etc. Everyone sees
equality differently and each couple needs to
figure out how they define it.

Priority of relationship: how important is the
relationship in comparison to the other emotional
and professional demands in life - family, job,
friends, hobbies, etc. How much time do you both
need, and does it match?

Romantic Love: this is central for some people
and not for others. Know what it is you want in
this area and don't settle for less. If you want
butterflies in the stomach, then wait for them!

The key is to know what you want! If you are
clear about your needs and desires, it will be
easier for you to decide if s/he matches them. It
is important to be at least somewhat in agreement
with your intended partner. In areas where you
differ, you need to be willing to compromise. If
your needs are being filled, that is key. If they
are not, that is a bad sign. So be aware of what
you want and need and then figure out if you are
getting it!

||:PreCiouS:||
5/01/2004 02:23:00 AM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.