Wednesday, May 05, 2004

when is this gonna end
your endless nagging
your endless shouting
its been going on for too long
its been going on ever since i can remember
you keep looking down on us
calling us names, this and that
comparing us with people outside
tell me how by saying these things can change us?
your words hurt like a knife thru our hearts
in your mind you'll always say that we hurt you
but yours hurts us more
each day i take in the crap cause i respect you for who you are
i take it in my stride cause there's nothing i can say
even if i do i'll be disrespectful
no matter what i do it is never enough
i know you're tired
i know you're exhausted
life hasnt been fair
but is it fair to take it out on us?
they are still growing up
your words play a big part
i'm aware about the things going on
but there's so much that i can do
Does it satisfy you that i feel even more guiltier then i should be?
Do you know why i'm always out?
Do you know why i'm always involved in school?
cause it helps me forget
it takes my mind away
it keeps me busy
it helps me to move forward
its the one thing i seem to be good at
i know it sounds insane but i actually enjoy what i'm doing
cause what i do means something
i know my dreams are idle dreams
dreams you say arent realistic
but i dare to dream
yes i i've never been strong academically
i've never been strong physically
but i didnt let that stop me
cause i had you in mind
i could never face you when i failed you
my strong points are always scattered in various depts
yes it does hinder me in things i wanna do
but still i overcome it
but then i see what's in your eyes
and i'm sorry if i failed you
sometimes i see the tears that you shed
but you'll never know how that hurts me more cause i never want to see you cry
funny how we dont usually share the stuff we should
how i dont talk to you that often
sometimes i run to you when the world becomes too cruel
when all the old crude remards come back full circle
jokes about how i look like, jokes abt my height, jokes abt me
words that strangers and even ppl i call my friends hurts so much i could only run to u cause you accepted me for who i am but sometimes i know you think we're a burdern thats why i keep quiet...
you'll never know the inner struggles i go thru
you'll never know the silent tears that i shed
you'll never know how much i've been in pain
cause i dont say a word
i'm sorry for my weakness
i really am
you can continue your endless nags and shouts cause i guess i'm used to it
i'm so used to it that i'm numb
my heart can never be as cold as i want it
it can never be as numb as i want it
cause in the end i feel
the dissapointment i've caused
how your words still affects me so...
so for now i'll just pretend
cause thats the easiest way out i can think of
i'm sorry...

||:PreCiouS:||
5/05/2004 08:29:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.