Saturday, July 31, 2004
three statements made to me in a span of 24 hrs....
the convo
1st person
p1: eh azi where are you ah?
me: legalab
p1: not surprised
me: y?
p1: cause you are always there
^_^"
2nd person
p2: are you always doing work?
me: haha.. why?
p2: cause i always see you not doing something fun
^_^"
3rd person
p3: when are you gonna become a lady ah?
me: huh?
p3: ya lah like me and person N, wear a skirt, have a bf etcetc...
^_^"
****************************************
seriously gotta admit the first two statements kinda says that i have no life and the third one had me dumbfounded....
haha....
seriously got me thinking....
yes i know i'm not hip neither am i cool, never will be, never will try to be. I've always been the wierd one, the odd one out haha... some things just never change and i wont conform to become something i'm not...
and bout the third statement... err... well... not really sure how i should react to that... i mean what's wrong with me being me rite now? I dont even have time for myself sometimes and you expect me to dress up in a skirt with make up etcetc wanting to see the ladyness side of me????
^-^"
and shouldnt a person take you as who you are and not what you are not or try to be???
hmm how did this topic came up in the first place?
oh yea.... when i commented to that person that i dont even own a tube of lipstick when she was reapplying her lipstick or gloss w/e in suntec's washrm...
haiz...
oh yea to tat person, its just not practical to wear wat u define as a skirt to sch can?? even if i do what do i wear it with my sneakers?? wahaha... anyways i dont even own a dress nor a pair of ladies sandals haha.. go figure... and i rather be comfortable thank u very much =)
||:PreCiouS:||
7/31/2004 11:53:00 PM
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Friday, July 30, 2004
Run To You
I know that when you look at me
There’s so much that you just don’t see
But if you would only take the time
I know in my heart you’d find
A girl who’s scared sometimes
Who isn’t always strong
Can’t you see the hurt in me?
I feel so all alone
I wanna run to you
I wanna run to you
Won’t you hold me in your arms
And keep me safe from harm
I wanna run to you
But if I come to you
Tell me, will you stay or will you run away
Each day, each day I play the role
Of someone always in control
But at night I come home and turn the key
There’s nobody there, no one cares for me
What’s the sense of trying hard to find your dreams
Without someone to share it with
Tell me what does it mean?
(chorus)
I need you here
I need you here to wipe away my tears
To kiss away my fears
If you only knew how much...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/30/2004 11:47:00 PM
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I know i shouldnt be in school on a friday evening, esp when i finished classes in the morning... haiz... heck just tat i have nothing better to do hehe... trying to finish up camp twinkle memo, CSC has finally responded so i'm awaiting their reply they promised me...
anyways even if i were to go home early, i would have absolutely nothing to do!
haiz...
its official...
sch is like my second home away from home... sigh...
i dont even know why i'm even bothering blogging now... haha...
sigh i was thinking... it gets so lonely sometimes... esp when you're always staying back after school, esp at a time like this, with no one u know in an almost empty lab.. sigh...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/30/2004 07:43:00 PM
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hmmz...
any of you guys watch naroto?
well... i think i know why he acts the way he does, kinda like some peeps i know too...
i've been acting kinda crazie the whole of this week, ask those ppl who are with me most of the time they can vouch for tat wahaha...
and somehow acting the way i do.. well it keeps my worry factor down and happiness feeling up...
i guess somehow to apply to wat naroto's does acting crazie & stuff, it actually takes the pain away.. no not physical pain, more like emotional pain...
induced happiness to compress wat is really goin on inside...
works fine with me...
until i'm alone on a bus journey on my way back home.. hurhur
so yea...
the happiest, craziest peeps u see ard doesnt really mean tat they are actually feeling tat way... if you look close enough you can see that they are trying to hide something...
saying something frm personal experince.. believe me i know...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/30/2004 12:41:00 AM
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Thursday, July 29, 2004
Darn whatever i typed just now at ilaw is gone.. nnnooooo...
darn server... argh
nvm just another brainless boredem inspired entry...
wahaha...
well no event mgmt tut today so i'm doing absolutely nothing rite now... i dont feel like doing anything rite now.. i wanna sleep!!!! wahaha... so instead of sleeping i'm being crazie, craxie crazie azi wahaha... it rhymes! whoohoo! wahaha =P
so now i'm sitting at legallab with two people looking over my shoulder ^_^" wahaha...
well i'm waiting for naddy to end class then we can go for pages tralalala
hmmz got some year 1s sitting opposite me rite now and boy do they "look" older then the current yr2s wahaha...and they look "stressed" at the same time =P
oh yea had a frightening experience just now... did i mention i was wearing contacts? well only on my left eye cause the doc's adviced me to... so went to have lunch with nuraini, noreen & lingna. so after happily finishing lunch and still feeling hungry afterwards =P my vision suddenly went blurry and i was goin like "eh wat happen?" then i realised that my contacts was not where it was suppose to be, so i thot it dropped but then i didnt feel it drop, then i realised that it is somewhere stuck above my eye!!! argh! so closed my eyes and tried to push the contacts back to the original position but it didnt seem to work and at times i lost touch of where the contacts were... luckily after a few moments i saw it at the bottom corner of my eye. phew.
hehe.. so with the help of lingna's mirror i slowly pushed the contacts up and took it out...
man my eyes were bloody red after tat... well luckily it was hard contacts so i just rinse it with my distilled water and put it back on again hehe...
well after this episode i was late from my crim pro grp project... hehe.. opps...
okie now gonna go create a board for sui generis with mx hehe... miss our CG siah esp our discussions on e-law haiz...
till then
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
7/29/2004 05:23:00 PM
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maybe its time for me to follow ms lim's advice
no not the idea of it
but like she said more of the emotional support aspects of it
in a way i feel tat i'm ready
still there's that missing link...
well more of the missing piece of the puzzle...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/29/2004 12:14:00 AM
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Wednesday, July 28, 2004
What am i to you?
somehow you just love bringing me down
it just hurts so damn bloody much
tell me what am i to you?
this cant keep going on
my heart aches so much that it literally hurts
why cant you just be appreciative of the little things that i do
yes i may not be good enough for you
but i'm trying my best
i know you deserve better
and i could only do so much
maybe this is why we arent close
as i want us to be
i donno i'm just so confused
abt everything tat just happened
it just bloody hurts
to have you react like that
just tell me what am it to you
and i'll just leave you be
||:PreCiouS:||
7/28/2004 10:50:00 PM
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well...
its mum's birthday today...
Y BIRTHDAY MUM!
well not like she's gonna be reading this... and here i am stil in sch, gee what a good daughter i am... and i still have no idea what to get for her, cause whatever i get for her would not be good enough, well tat's how i feel, its like she's gone thru so much for us, sacrificed so much and i feel like i owe her too much to actually think that anything is good enough for her... sigh...
somehow right now i dont feel like i'm good enough for anyone... just having one of those days...
haiz...
oh yea just want to comment abt something... can some of you peeps accept ppl for who they are and not have preconeived idea abt the person? getting tired of hearing abt it on and off. If you dont like the person, fine, accept it, dont bloody go on and on abt it afterall no one's perfect, that includes you. God created everyone different and special in their own way, what makes you think you're better then that person? Talking behind that person's back is bad enuff... bah...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/28/2004 08:21:00 PM
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Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Nightmare Revisited
It almost happened again
was having dinner
somehow i felt sick after tat
so i stepped outside for awhile
needed to get some fresh air
then i started to breathe too fast
my heart was pumping too fast
flashback to what happened before
i was so damn scared
i felt like calling anyone who was with me on that day
the day that it happened
but i couldnt bring myself to
what's the point? i could barely talk...
tried to remember the stuff that i'm am/not suppose to do
like not breathe to fast and take in slow breaths
the thoughts of "this is not happening" kept running thru my head
stayed outside for abit trying to slow my heart
didnt want to alarm them...
me being scared is bad enuff...
nightmare revisited
i'm just messed up...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/27/2004 10:15:00 PM
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thinking...
as i'm sitting here at the lab (yeap i have moved to lab 4 haha...)
and i'm looking at all my school work scattered infront of me, and i realised.... i realised... i'm swamped!!!
okie i'm in an almost panic mode!!
hmmz...
i have a stack, i mean a pile, of stuff that i need to do and i'm afraid that i wont be able to finish it on time! argh!
let me make a list...
1) updating and doing accts tutorial & lect notes that i missed last wk
2) accounts revision - mid sem nxt wk
3) contract project - going thru the learning issues, adding wat i have missed, answering the issues itself
4) update my contract notes as in add in all the new materials that i've found in my research cause seriously the lect slides are not that informative
5) camp twinkle memo - still waiting for CCS response argh!
6) crim pro group project - need to get started!!
7) crim pro revision - i swear i'm gonna get lost, like i'm not lost already
8) lcomm opinion assignments - must do better my 25% is in mr fj's hands, need to score for this subj
9)events mgmt project - we are so not moving! everytime we have a mtg its only 3 ppl and the other 3 ppl is always missing argh!
this is excluding stuff i need to do at home as well... haiz...
so much to do so little time...
c'mon azi time management remember?
yesyes need to replan my schedule..
haiz starting to talk to myself again... =P
okie lah better get on with my work and stop digressing hehe...
toodlez!
muakz
salute =)
||:PreCiouS:||
7/27/2004 06:37:00 PM
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Found this on friendster when i was going thru my bulletin board.. thot i'll share it with you guys...
a love story....
Peter and Tina are sitting in the park doing nothing, but just gazing into the sky, while all their friends are having fun with their beloved half.
Tina: I'm so bored. Just wish I have a boyfriend now to spend time with.
Peter: I guess we're the only leftovers. We're the only person who isn't with a date now.
(both sigh n silence for a while)
Tina: I think I have a good idea. Lets play a game
Peter: Eh? What game?
Tina: Eem..It's quite simple. You be my boyfriend for 100 days and I'll be your girlfriend for 100 days. what do you think?
Peter: Oookay..Anyway I don't have any plan for the next few months.
Tina: You sound like you aren't looking forward
to it at all. Cheer up. Today will be our first day and our first date. Where should we go?
Peter: What about a movie? I heard that there is a really great movie in theater now.
Tina: Seems like I don't have any better idea than this. Lets move.
(went to watch their movies and sent each other home)
Day 2
Peter and Tina went to a concert together, and
Peter bought Tina a keychain with a star.
Day 3
They went shopping together for a friend's birthday present. Share an ice-cream together and hugged each other for the first time.
Day 7
Peter drove Tina up onto a mountain and they watch the sunset together. When the night came and the moon glowed, they said sat on the grass gazing at the stars together. A meteor passed by. Tina mumbled something.
Day 25
Spend time at a themepark and got onto rollercoasters, and ate hotdogs and cotton candy. Peter and Tina got in the haunted house and Tina grabbed someone's hand instead of > Peter's hand by accident. They laughed together for a while.
Day 67
They drove pass a circus and decided to get in to watch the show. The midget asked Tina to play a part as his assistant in the magic show. Went around to see other entertainments around after the show. Came to a fortune teller and she just said "Treasure every moment from now on" and a tear rolled down the fortune teller's cheek.
Day 84
Tina suggested that they go to the beach. The beach wasn't so crowded that day. They have their first kiss with each other just as the sun is setting.
Day 99
They decided to have a simple day and is > deciding to have a walk around the city. They sits down onto a bench.
1:23 pm
Tina: I'm thirsty. Lets rest for a while first.
Peter: Wait here while I go buy some drinks. What would you like?
Tina: Eem...Apple juice will be just fine.
1:43 pm
Tina waiting for about 20 minutes and Peter havent return. Then someone walked up to her.
Stranger: Is your name Tina?
Tina: Yes, and may I help you?
Stranger: Justnow down there on the street a drunk driver has crashed into a guy. I think its your friend.
Tina ran over to the spot with the stranger and sees Peter lying on the floor with blood over his face and her apple juice still in his hands. The ambulance came and she went to the hospital with Peter. Tina sat outside the emergency room for five and a half hours. The doctor came out, and he sigh.
11:51 pm
Doctor: I'm sorry, but we did the best we could. He is still breathing now but God would take him away from us very soon. We found this letter inside his pocket.
The doctor hands over the letter to Tina and she goes into the room to see Peter. He look weak but peaceful. Tina read the letter and then she burst into tears.
Here is what the letter said.
Tina, our 100 days is almost over. I had fun with you during all these days. Although you may be greedy sometimes and less thoughtful, but these all brought happiness into my life. I have realize that you are a really cute girl and blamed myself for never taken the time to knowing that. I have nothing much to ask for, but I just wish that we can extend the day. I want to be your boyfriend > forever and wish that you can be beside me all the time. Tina, I love you.
11:58
Tina: (sobbing) Peter. Did you know what was the wish I made on the night there was a meteor. I asked God to let us last forever. We were suppose to last 100 days so Peter! You can't leave me! I LOVE YOU, but can you come back to me now? I love you Peter. I LOVE YOU.
As the clock struck twelve, Peter's heart stopped beating. It was 100 days.
NOTE* Tell the guy or girl that you love them before its too late. You never know whats going to happen tomorrow. You never know who will be leaving you and never return.
I know sappy rite? wahaha... but yea the story says something doesnt it? lesson learnt but then again it keeps happening where ever u turn without u realizing it... hmmz...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/27/2004 06:13:00 PM
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WEllo! =D
hehe...
done with classes for today but as usual still in school...
but wwwhhhyyyy????????????????????????????
hehe...
reason because i need to catch up on stuff that has been going on from last week due to me being untimely sick yupyup
cant believe nxt wk is already mid sem... so fast! wah liaoz hehe... so cheena =P
oh yea theres some ppl i just dont get...
if you read my blog just say lah you read my blog
no need to say that a third party told you about something etcetc
and sometimes their words are words i used in my blog ^_^"
ello i'm not that stupid you know
its not like i'm gonna throw a temper or whatever cause i found out ppl read my blog....
.....
please just be honest with me can??
i'm aware that this is a public blog u know.. sheesh...
and i found out that some ppl are just dispicable
seriously
doing something so low just because you dont like the person
want to be so bloody righteous rite?
start with yourself first
idiots
like they are so damn bloody perfect like that
oh and one more thing
there's something going on
apparently some smart alec is flaming/putting bad ass comments on alot of ppl's blog
want to flame ppl but dont have the guts to put their own names
who do these ppl think they are??
like i said if you're so righteous take a look at what you write down in the first place
oh and to not dare to put your real name says something about u too...
tralalala just needed to get that off my chest...
moving on...
i think i'm turning into my very own worst nightmare.. arrrghhh!!!
nnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooo!!! and no i wont elaborate... haha... irritating isnt it? putting something interesting and not saying anything on it wahaha..
gosh the ilaw chambers is slowly being filled with the 3rd yrs hmmz...
and now johan is brilliantly spraying the toilet air freshener around the room ^_^"
and now the room smells of the toilet..... thanks hans.... haha...
oklah should get back to my accounts, need to concentrate =P
till then!
toodlez!
muakz
salute =)
||:PreCiouS:||
7/27/2004 03:17:00 PM
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Monday, July 26, 2004
hello again!
yes i have decided
finally
i have decided to open a legal cafe!
^_^"
i'm serious =P
well...
for my entepeneurship biz proposal tat is wahaha....
anyways...
still in school, just completed my biz proposal, printed out the L&M constitution that i'm suppose to go thru and give comments/suggestions, also printed out a/c slides, lcomm and crim pro stuff.. and now i will proceed on to my accounts assignments... well after i finish blogging that it =D
and i'm waiting!!!!!! i'm hungry!!!!
and that ladies and gentleman was nadira... the girl who attacked my keyboard.. hmmz...
waiting and hungry? (trying to find a catchy ad line here... failing miserably wahaha...)
and now she's tryint to strangle me... ^_^"
today learned something important.
actions we do have consequences.
what we say, what we do are accountable.
especially on what we blog.
hmmz...
anywayz i need to go or naddy will really strangle me
oh yea will leave you with this phrase that i came across while browsing thru the toastmaster's monthly mag...
"Once yoiu have faced fear and prevailed,
you stand taller, feel stronger and
stride through life with greater confidence."
nice right? hehe...
oklah
till the next entry...
toodlez!!
muakz!
salute =D
||:PreCiouS:||
7/26/2004 08:48:00 PM
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today is monday
m o n d a y
woohoo i can spell it
so clever wahaha...
okay sorrie i know lame
just bored ok
and high on food.. maybe syrup wahaha...
right now ilaw chambers with noreen & tania
just finished lunch so now we are waiting for a/c lecture to start
and tania is printing her notes and noreen is answering questionnaires in friendster
and they are now currently protesting for me to not enter their names here wahaha...
=P opps to late hehe...
hmmz my current mood now was totally different from this morning, which is good i guess cause this morning was seriously not my morning.. sigh.. only slept at ard 4am after completing my lcomm and contract stuff... then woke up abit late and was terribly late for my contract mtg which was at 9am, the realised there was a miscommunication on my part on what i was suppose to do for contract when i was absent last wk so i didnt do what i was suppose to do... haiz... yesh my fault.. been saying everything my fault from just now, makes everyone happier doesnt it so all blames on me =) just lucky i'm high on what i'm not sure wahaha...
lalalalalala (smurf's tune)
^_^"
oh had an interesting apel class today...
on...
relationships...
but wont say anything here cause its suppose to be between the class
hurhur
lets just say there's no particular difference between gals and guys on the topic heh
okie almost 3 soon... will blog more later...
toodlez
muakz
salute =D
||:PreCiouS:||
7/26/2004 02:13:00 PM
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Here i am still awake when i should be sleeping...
what i'm doing?? Bloody lcomm prelab assignment and i'm stuck. argh!!! had problems starting, got pass that and now i'm stuck at how i should continue.. and the best part is i've been at this for the past 3-4 bloody hours! argh... thanks for the one responsible for uploading it only on friday afternoon and letting students discover it only in the evening.. on a bloody friday evening... students do tend to have a life too u know and not be constantly bogged down by school work.. its bad enough that some of us reach home only in the late evening everyday trying to finish up assignments in school... i just love last minute stuff dont you?sheesh... yes i'm being sarcastic *rolls eyes*
maybe its my bad for choosing to go to the chalet on saturday but i seriously needed a break... hmmz donno where all this anger is coming from... feel like smashing something argh... i'm going bonkers already argh...
anyways on sat had the NE seminar and it was like a criminal law lecture/OP nightmare. seriously. the guest speaker, a lawyer who has his own firm was reading right off his slides and he was citing penal code offences ^_^' oh gosh seriously.. and he also got his supreme court hiearchy wrong gee... i bet mr fj, mr mat and mr LKY can give him a run for his money. I wonder why the school pays so much for a guest speker to talk on the law when we have our very own law lecturers in this school...
well after the NE seminar proceeded on to the chalet with mei, tania, ds, marcus, alvin, darren, juliana, pei ming(i still donno how to spell his name =P) and candy. The chalet was at east coast park and it was more like a laid back, do what u wanna do, no agenda chalet unlike those chalets you usually go to where ppl plan bbq, activities and stuff. which was totally fine with me.
I finally found out who Naroto is and okay i must admit i like the cartoon, v.funnie and in a waymeaningful(?) i donno... went cycling in the evening at ard 6 with yimei to bedok jetty... been awhile since i last sat down with yimei and have a chat.. shld do this again and hopefully more often =) we went back to the chalet when sinthu finally arrived hehe... oh and i finally learnt how to play mahjong *lol* still need alot alot alot of practise tho before i get the hang of it =P
well at the later part of the evening mei had to go home and when apri came we all went for dinner.. then after dinner sinthu went off and the rest of us went to play pool and some played arcade games... after some time some went back to the chalet and some of the guys played the LAN game at the arcade.. not sure which game they played.. well me.. i went to cycle alone.. yeap at 2am in the morning.. it really felt good... most of the tracks were empty so i could go as fast as i want and as far as i want.. since i couldnt run like i always wanted to i could cycle, somehow as i was cycling i felt free, like i was running erm i mean cycling away from all my problems, the faster i went the furthur away it felt... well after my cycling escapade my legs hurt like hell wahaha.. i deserved it i guess... should exercise more.. now considering of going down to the beach once a week just to cycle wahaha...
went to watch the sunrise at ard 6 at the breakwater... as dawn began to break, somehow it reminded me of hope.. i donno... it just gave me that peaceful feeling... after that went to cycle some more... well lets call it morning exercise haha.. cycled around the same route twice before going back to the chalet... when i went back woke those ppl who were still sleeping haha.. purposely =P switched on the tv and watched cooking shows wahaha.. and then i fell asleep heh... when i got up i was freaking cold... colder then i was when i fell asleep for an hour at 4.. i donno how ppl can sleep in air con in that cold temperature... i was teeth was literally chattering.. i had to actually step out into the sun/outdoor before i could bring myself to do anything else in the chalet... i for one dont have an aircon as a luxury so maybe i'm not used to it i guess haha...
well my right knee was aching after my whole cycling trips.. at least the chalet has hot water in the showers, actually did my muscles some good, lessen the aching haha...
okie i should continue on with my lcomm or else i'll just go on and on hehe...
salute!
||:PreCiouS:||
7/26/2004 01:55:00 AM
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Sunday, July 25, 2004
Hold On
You tried so hard to be someone
That you forgot who you are
You tried to fill some emptiness
‘Til all you had spilled over
Now everything’s so far away
That you don’t know where you are
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
For you to belong to
When it’s hard to be yourself
It’s not to be someone else
Still everything’s so far away
That you forget where you are
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
Hold on
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
For you to belong to
||:PreCiouS:||
7/25/2004 11:11:00 PM
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i've freakin bloody had it
i'm sick and tired of it all
i find myself losing temper easily
and feeling bad about it later
i'm just freakin tired
sometimes just feel like curling into a corner
and just cry
and let it all out
but everytime i feel like breaking down
i cant allow myself to...
its just so damn frustrating
with everything that's going on...
everyday i always try to play the role
of someone who is in control
and i guess i've been good at dodging questions
when people tend to ask what's wrong...
funny when i was facing the sea recently
i felt like going in
walking towards the middle
and be swept away by the strong current
i donno maybe i'm just mad
somehow rite now i just wanna feel pain
cause somehow it helps numb the actual pain
or just continue cycling and actually feel free
that i'm running away from everything
that nothing else mattes...
i know i should be talking to someone
but then i donno if it would ever help
cause i wont know where to start
or what to say
who says that i wont be holding back
even if i would say anything...
i'm just mad at myself rite now...
somehow i just wish this anger, emptiness and pain would just go away...
i cant always be strong
i have my moments of weakness too
so sue me
enuff said...
before i say anything more hurtful...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/25/2004 07:13:00 PM
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Friday, July 23, 2004
Every where I turn
I see your face
Reminding me of a safer place
Every time you smile
You just light up my day
I'm not the only
Feeling lonely
Every time you walk on by
I try to say something
But end up with nothing
Every time you walk on by
I keep my cool I pretend I'm not here
Every time you come too near
I'm such a fool 'cause, this love is true and
If I don't tell you someone else surely will
If I ever see you again
This craziness must find an end
I look at you
I promise myself
I'm not the only
Feeling lonely
Every time you walk on by
I try to say something
But end up with nothing
Every time you walk on by
||:PreCiouS:||
7/23/2004 11:36:00 PM
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Bonjour!
hehe...
well i've finally changed my blog layout after much deliberation and intense selecting process wahaha...
you see there wasnt any particular blogskin that really caught my attention so i've decided to make my own and ta dah! something simple and nice! hehe.. i like it v.much =D
been busy with assignments and projects, so like wat's new right? haha... been sick the whole week and i'm not forcing myself too much cause then i'll get sicker so i'm going at an extra slow pace this week so ppl you gotta bear with me =P
you have been warned! =) oh and i apologize to those who have been affected, especially my group mates cause i havent been much of a help this week... i'll do better next week ya =)
oh did i mention that the circus is town?
i did didnt i?
and did i mention that i wanna go?
oh i mentioned that too...
hmmz.. rite..
I WANNA GO TO THE CIRCUS!!!!
hehe...
haiz...
any nice,sweet,kind person who would like to take me to the circus?
*grinz*
well i would go on my own but it aint fun going to a circus on your own you know... haiz..
anywayz...
i need a camera... no i dont own my own camera if that is what you're thinking... all this while i've been using either my mum's camera or my sis's camera... i need to get my own one of this days.. sigh.. i've been neglecting my photography sessions.. and i need a good photo software along with tat camera hehe...
oh yea.. i just found out.. hoobastank coming too town.. aww shucks.. another gig that gonna slip by me... i know its gonna be like the midsem break week but knowing my crappy fate tat is also something that i'm gonna miss out on.. haiz...
well cant think of anything else to blog abt for now.. need to get back to my contract hehe..
salute =)
||:PreCiouS:||
7/23/2004 12:55:00 AM
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Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Back in school and have yet to recover fully =P Wasnt able to attend my contract mtg this morning cause was having this irritating chest pain haiz... really sorry guys...
so yesterday was at home the whole day.. so what did i do? hmmz... well.. most of it was watching kids central haha... they are currently showing 'the magic school bus' and 'where is carmen sandiago?' whoa.. can you actually believe it? the last time i watched it was when i was a kid hehe...
well i didnt spend the whole of my tuesday at home... went out for dinner in the evening with melly, naddy and kabby @ "mac d" hehe... well for those of you who have not read their blogs well here's is my account of the whole eveing...
we actually planned on eating at BK, well actually kabby wanted to eat at BK but the BK where we decided to go to was full so we proceeded on to TM's mac d. After intense discussion and contemplating, we decided to use the coupon sponsored by our lovely dee dee a.k.a naddy a.k.a noddy and bought the four EMV which comes with a free 20pc nuggets cause hey its value for money and we get free nuggets! woohoo! or so we thought... hehe...
So the food came, ecstatically happy with our spread of food, we attacked the tray of french fries, munched on our burgers, drank our cokes and sprites... soon after our burgers were gone and drinks almost gone and we were at a level satisfaction... when we realised... that...we were still left with half a tray of uneaten fries!!! not to mention the 20pc nuggets that we havent touched!! argh!! It cant be true can it?!?
so like good people that we are, we slowly finished the food, dividing everything into four parts, somewhere in between there was a bargaining of fries between azi and naddy, oh and kabby being reminded 4 times that her CPC and PC was on the floor where she intentionally placed it... hehe...
well in the end we did finish all the food but all around the table swore that we aint gonna touch mac d's for at least a month plus plus? oh and somehow we all got high on all the food that was consumed wahaha...
totally enjoyed myself.. should do this again sometime haha...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/21/2004 07:03:00 PM
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Monday, July 19, 2004
Finally went to the doctor after two days of being sick. hehe... got two days mc so wont be going to sch tmr.. sigh... actually i wanna go cause its a/c tut tmr and i dont like missing out tutorials but i think i should concentrate on getting better...
well was in sch in the afternoon today despite having an mc cause firstly had to hand in the crim pro research project (mc inexcuseable) then after that had law inc mtg and anways had to print out some stuff in the lab then i had to run out of paper haiz.... hmmz... and crim pro grp project just came out... haiz.. just right after we handed in our individual project... heh...
bumped into jon just now on my way home, well actually he was the one who approached me haha... look so diff now.. been awhile since i last saw him... was on mc cause he fractured his wrist in a fight i think haiz... found that he's ord-ing in one and a half mnths time haha.. he was reallie happy bout tat =P
oh yea the moscow circus is now going on beside TM.. i wanna go lehz.. been a loonngg time since i went to a circus... wonder how much the tix are... hmmz.. anyone interested? hehe... but like always i bet i'm gonna eventually miss it.. sigh...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/19/2004 11:52:00 PM
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Sunday, July 18, 2004
Do you have it?
did you know that the Greeks, i think it was the ancient greeks, did not have such thing as an obituary?
yeap
but there's one question that will always be asked of the person who died...
did he have passion?
why passion? I guess in life one has to have passion for something...
or else life would be meaningless...
been thinking a lot of death lately...
of what might become...
of fears...
of unfinished business...
of lost dreams...
of god...
so i ask myself this.... do i have passion?
passion for what?
a simple question, but i donno how to answer it... where to start...
so.. what's your passion?
||:PreCiouS:||
7/18/2004 07:53:00 PM
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Did you know ???
Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really
like that person?
Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are
real weaklings and most succeptible?
Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are
the ones that really need some one to protect them?
Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are : I
love you,Sorry and help me The people who say these are those that
actually need them or really feel them, and they are the ones you
really need to treasure, because they have said them.
Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others
company or helping others are the ones that actually need your
company and help?
Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in
themselves?
Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy
their beauty?
Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to
be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in
two folds?
Did you know that those who need more of you are those that did not
mention it to you?
Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writting than
saying it to someone in the face?But did you know that it has more
value when you say it in the face?
Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is
much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy
with money?
Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes
are granted?
Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling
in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by
faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could
do.
But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for
yourself , if you know someone that is in need of something that I
mentioned of,and you know that you can help,
you'll see that it will
be returned in two folds.
salute.
||:PreCiouS:||
7/18/2004 12:31:00 PM
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Sleepless in Singapore
Its.... its... oh gosh... its actually 5am!! *sound effect - chengcheng* muahahaha....
^_^
hehe.. =P
the flu is definitely getting to me.. tralala... i'm halfway thru with the stuff i need to do but have yet to actually complete one! hmmz =P
kinda lonely siah.. everyone is fast asleep and those who are online are "Away", well like anyone would actually wanna talk to me at this ungodly hour =P
Gosh honestly i'm sick of being sick... haha.. sick of being sick... is there such a thing? cause i'm seriously feeling it =P gee... at least i dont let myself get bogged down by it or else i'll have a lot of uncomplete stuff and missing stuff that i shouldn't be missing.. well i did miss one thing that i really shouldnt have missed....
what is it?????
the trip to the zoo!!!!
yes i missed a trip to the zoo...
sigh...
but what has passed has passed.... maybe next time =) if there is a next =P
Tania's bdae was on Thursday, well you should have known since i posted up a huge dedication =P if you didnt notice... then get yourself a pair of glasses!!! if you have do have one... well... get a new one then! =D
Went for dinner to celebrate Tania's bdae at Pasir Ris... cant recall the name of the place but its at the beach =) Awesome atmosphere tho... including awesome company comprising of the bdae girl herself, her darling desheng, yimei, marcus, alvin, mx & darren. =)
oh yea did i tell you i got my hair cut? yeap its now short. Do i like the new do? well still getting used to it hehe...
thinking of running for law inc again... i know some of you are gonna raise your eyebrows, and some will be against the idea cause of recent events but... i have some unfinished business... i feel like i havent really done much for my portfolio and there's more that i need to work on, furthurmore i've learned so much so far and it'll be kind of a waste to let go just like that... well lets just wait till election comes shall we =)
Speaking of elections... the TPSU, CSC and the 4 (or isit 5? i forgot hehe) diff school's student elections are coming up.. well campaigning have started... honestly i'm not really concerned abt the elections cause i donno these ppl and they are not actually gonna directly affect my school life. ok but so far 1 yr being in TP maybe i guess BSC do catch my attention once in awhile cause hey they are doing stuff in biz sch itself, so who wouldnt be aware? well execept for those exceptional cases =P
Anyways found out that Apri's running for BSC hurhur... wonder what position his running for? Dont see any of his campaigning stuff.. wonder if he is doing the publicity stuff at all, well except for his display name on msn....
ok since he's a good friend i'll help him advertise here haha...
alrite attention TP biz school peepz...
voting will be on 21st july, from 9am - 6pm @ the cyber center... in case you dont know where the cyber center is, its at the SAA building, and in case you dont know where the SAA building is it was formally known as the SDAD building, just behind biz sch hehe... =P
oh in case you donno who's apri... erm... oh yea hor... hmmz.. oh yea go to the link I SAY and then go to the "across the causeway" link.. you'll find him there..hehe...
p.s apri you should thank me for this haha... =P
oh gosh i've run out of things to blog about... hmmm...
oh yea heard that Baybeats has been happening at the Esplanade... nooo..... how come i'm not aware of it??? must have been to caught up with school work... sigh... one more day left... but i'm sick. how? i wanna gooooo!!!
oh yea i have my event management project meeting later at noon.... how??? i'm dead
see like i said i'm sick and tired of being sick...
and last week i also missed mr ferlin's play, i just remembered.. argh... and i really wanted to go... sigh....
and speaking of event management... my group... sigh.. hopeless i tell you... if i dont say anything nothing moves... and i stress on the word nothing. and the best part is our proposal is due this thursday. seriously if i didnt stress on the fact that our proposal was due soon there wouldnt be the plan of actually going down to our 'project site' today... trouble with cds sometimes is all our timetables clash... haiyo.... and now i'm sick. gee. thanks. and i'm not yet at the stage where i really trust my group members to leave them alone and actually discuss on what we're suppose to do gauging from what i see during tutorial discussions... sigh... all my hopes are on suk ching who thankfully is in my group... phew =)
we'll just see lah... maybe they'll prove me wrong.. i donno... i should give them another chance shouldnt i?
SC just called... (yeap at 6am in the morning, luckiily i'm not asleep yet =P) she said she wont go if i dont... aiyoh.. how like tat? hmmz...
argh this flu is seriously killing me and my Crim Pro proj is calling me back haiz...
almost 6 now... gee... i havent stayed up this late for quite awhile.. argh and now i'm hungry but i cant think of anything to eat cause my throat is hurting like hell...
ok should stop here now or else i'll just go on and on and on... hehe....
well till the next entry then...
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
7/18/2004 04:59:00 AM
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Saturday, July 17, 2004
well....
tried to sleep but failed...
i just cant seem to fall asleep... too many things to worry about.. sigh...
so before i really start on my work decided to blog some stuff hehe...
what do you do when a relationship turns sour?
when the significant other says its over?
what do you do when it happens so unexpectedly?
when you ask for an explanation a stupid reason is given (well tats my opinion) what do you do then?
That was what i found out today... well not the answers... found out that my friend just broke up... a five year relationship down the drain... and the reason given was because there was no more chemistry... well that was according to the guy...
hmm...
is relationship all about chemistry then?
Well i do agree when you start a relationship there must be some chemistry but then no relationship is ever easy. It takes effort.
It depends how you define that relationship and why you are in it in the first place.
I guess i felt it was more to it then just chemistry.
I gather there's some ego involved. Typical of guys.
chemistry...
hmm..
but if it all lies on chemistry wouldnt that be just lust instead of love?
But then how you define what is love? Is love strong enough to actually sustain the relationship?
i donno.. u tell me...
But then it takes two hands to clap. A sentence so simple but blind to people who are in the situation. One would always blame the other and vice versa....
Came up with a conclusion cause this is not the first time i see this happening...
guys basically dont like to be forced to feel something or do something... they wanna do it on their own time, when they are ready...
Let me know if i'm wrong cause i'm saying it as it is. I've seen two such relationships turn sour because of this and its always the guy who ask for the break up.
Well if i were the guy i guess i would feel suffocated too but then is it fair to the girl cause its just the way the person is? Or could it be paranoia at its best?
i donno
but in the end someone will always get hurt.
It may be easy for some people to throw their relationship in the wind just like that, but to a person who really treasure the relationship and have feelings involved, it hurts, it hurts a damn lot... losing someone is never easy, especially when feelings are involved. Is it fair to that person to be given a lame reason and not the truth? To be pushed aside, ignored, ridiculed and left alone in the rain without knowing what really happened?
note that i'm not taking any sides, this happens to guys too... i know...
maybe because i've observed alot of relationships, good or bad, and help my friends go thru those rough patches that i'm not in one myself. Afraid that i'd make the same mistakes. Afraid that i'll get hurt. Afraid that i'll hurt the other. People who really know me would know that i dont take relationships lightly. When i'm committed to something i put my heart into it, that's why i get hurt easily... thus i dont fall in love easily and when i do, i fall hard but me being me wont do anything about it cause of fear... but like someone once said, love shouldnt be a secret, when you keep it inside it'll make you sick.. haha.. how true... but then you dont know how stubborn i can be =P
You know sometimes i wonder what kind of person i would turn out to be if i was ever in a failed relationship... When something so beautiful turns sour, i guess i can understand how painful it must be, but one has to move on, but then again its easier said then done. Yes stuff like this takes time but it aint good to dwell on it cause what do you get out of it in the end? Are you gonna continue to let your tears flow and beat yourself up on what has passed, hurt yourself in the process while the other person is living their life as they deem fit, enjoying themselves?
I guess sometimes god wants us to meet a few wrong people before we meet the right one... what do you think? We all can plan a few years ahead, plan what we wanna do, what we want, but in the end it is god who determines our fate. He has the last say. But then we have the power to make our own choices. Right or wrong, it is our choice to make. It does sound contradicting doesnt it? but think about it...
Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship, and find out you still care for that person.
||:PreCiouS:||
7/17/2004 10:27:00 PM
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ooh blogger changed their user layout yet again and it totally user friendly wohoo =P
Anyways woke up feeling sick again on a saturday and my throat hurt like hell, forced my self to get up and go to school (yeap on a saturday) to do my crim pro individual project due on monday, tot maybe i needed to get out of the house but then i thot wrong, i got even more sick apparently.. i think i have the flu... argh...
still have yet to finish crim pro, prelab3, contract issues, then tomorrow need to go down to the esplanade at noon for my event mgmt field trip thingy... argh... i'm so loving my weekend...
cant think of what else to blog rite now the flu is killing me... argh can somebody just shoot me? maybe i'll do it myself...
guess i'll go to sleep for awhile before i start work again.. most prob wont sleep tonight, gotta get all this work done by tomorrow...
Somehow i feel like running to you and feel safe in your arms...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/17/2004 07:23:00 PM
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Thursday, July 15, 2004
a great BiG ShOuT OuT to a GooD Friend of mIne
TANIA TAY
^_^
hehe.. not sure if you're reading this but still wanna wish you Happy Birthday, you've been a good friend to loads of peeps especially me =) really lucky to have you as a classmate and a friend, therefore i wanna wish you all the best in everything you do, may you be showered with love every single day esp from ds hehe... and may god bless you always! =D
love ya!
god bless!
||:PreCiouS:||
7/15/2004 06:28:00 PM
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Born To Try
Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture
And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
All that you see is me
All I truly believe
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
||:PreCiouS:||
7/15/2004 12:34:00 AM
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Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Reminder to Self
I shall not care what people think, I shall not let people hurt me, I shall prove some people wrong, I shall get up whenever i fall, i shall not succumb to my weakness, i shall depend on myself cause i cannot always depend on others, i shall not let people see me raging my own war in my head, i shall only trust people who deserve to be trusted,I shall not care what people think, I shall not let people hurt me, I shall prove some people wrong, I shall get up whenever i fall, i shall not succumb to my weakness, i shall depend on myself cause i cannot always depend on others, i shall not let people see me raging my own war in my head, i shall only trust people who deserve to be trusted,I shall not care what people think, I shall not let people hurt me, I shall prove some people wrong, I shall get up whenever i fall, i shall not succumb to my weakness, i shall depend on myself cause i cannot always depend on others, i shall not let people see me raging my own war in my head, i shall only trust people who deserve to be trusted,I shall not care what people think, I shall not let people hurt me, I shall prove some people wrong, I shall get up whenever i fall, i shall not succumb to my weakness, i shall depend on myself cause i cannot always depend on others, i shall not let people see me raging my own war in my head, i shall only trust people who deserve to be trusted,I shall not care what people think, I shall not let people hurt me, I shall prove some people wrong, I shall get up whenever i fall, i shall not succumb to my weakness, i shall depend on myself cause i cannot always depend on others, i shall not let people see me raging my own war in my head, i shall only trust people who deserve to be trusted,I shall not care what people think, I shall not let people hurt me, I shall prove some people wrong, I shall get up whenever i fall, i shall not succumb to my weakness, i shall depend on myself cause i cannot always depend on others, i shall not let people see me raging my own war in my head, i shall only trust people who deserve to be trusted,I shall not care what people think, I shall not let people hurt me, I shall prove some people wrong, I shall get up whenever i fall, i shall not succumb to my weakness, i shall depend on myself cause i cannot always depend on others, i shall not let people see me raging my own war in my head, i shall only trust people who deserve to be trusted...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/13/2004 10:44:00 PM
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Apologies to those who tried to contact me thru my handphone today cause i accidentally left it at home =P
||:PreCiouS:||
7/13/2004 12:56:00 PM
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Trust
To trust and being trusted, is it a privilege or somehing earned? To trust a person wholeheartedly is there such a thing? Are there factors that add to your mindset on how far you can trust a person and how much you can actually trust that person without constantly looking behind your back?
I guess there is, well that's according to my theory.
How do you salvage what mindset you have on trust when it has been broken countless times and it ends up making you paranoid? When you come up to a point that everyone is against you, even people you are close to?
i donno.
problem with me i trust in people too much at times and in the end sometimes i get bruised, thats when paranoia continues to set in and is constantly fueled, what i'll be thinking is am i saying too much? Will they use it against me? Do they wanna know about it in the first place? What importance am i to them?
so i have battles in my own head. i keep things to myself cause afterall my problems are my own and i dont want others to be concerned about my troubles when they have their own lives to lead. You see i have their well being in mind. Cause what i feel is i dont have the right to trouble others......
But unless the person is persistant and somehow you can feel the sincerity in them you actually have that feeling of trusting them.
Like this saying goes:
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."
i guess in someways people not having full trust in me is retribution for my own perspective. When i dont confide in ppl, they wont confide in me. When you're an expert of keeping things to yourself you can actually sense it in others and sometimes what irks you so much is you finding out from a third party about something when the person is actually close to you.
i guess i also dont understand why do ppl think they have to constantly watch their backs with me? Do i stab people in the back? and why the hell would i do that? Would i gain anything from it? I donno you tell me. Am i that hard of a person to talk to? Am i that kind of person? I guess i'd feel insulted as a friend, and if i use this senario vice versa i guess my close friends would also feel insulted if i don't actually trust them enough to tell them stuff.
To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved I mean its like if i'm not good enough to be loved or fated not to be loved i would much rather be trusted as a person.
Now why is that.. what is your take on love? For me my opinion of love is one part of it trust. Trust is an important factor in love itself thus my theory on to be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved.
So why this entry? Must be something kabby said in her blog. I guess it triggered something in me and i needed to blog about it.
Dont take it the wrong way, its just something i feel...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/13/2004 12:13:00 PM
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i have this BiG urge to actually cut my hair.. again...
hehe...
hmm...
how should i cut it?
shoulder length?
short?
but if i cut it short then i wont be able to cut it when
i get bored of my hairstyle...
hmmz...
i wonder why i get bored of my hair easily...
argh...
to cut or not to cut...
lets just see what happen tomorrow shall we =D
||:PreCiouS:||
7/13/2004 12:56:00 AM
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Monday, July 12, 2004
Something you guys should check out
LaW's very own online mag
CLiCk HeRe!!
||:PreCiouS:||
7/12/2004 09:05:00 PM
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TO REALIZE...
To realize
The value of a sister :
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.
To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has
Given birth to a premature baby.
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.
To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has
Won a silver medal in the Olympics.
To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.
Time waits For no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.
||:PreCiouS:||
7/12/2004 08:43:00 PM
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Decided to this 'questionnaire' thingy from friendster for the fun of it =P
1. YOUR HOROSCOPE?
Sagittarius
2. OPINION ON "LOVE"?
trust & sacrifice
3. OPINION ON FOOD?
sinful haha...
4. HAVE YOU EVER SERiOUSLY HURT THE
PERSON YOU LOVE?
maybe
5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REASON iF YOU DID THAT?
did what? oh you mean the question above? hmm.. somethings are better left unsaid...
6. iS SUiCiDE REALLY KiLLiNG YOURSELF?
when you think life is not worth living that
can already be considered as suicide
7. PREFER FILM OR DIGITAL CAMERAS?
Well digital cameras actually spoils the art of photography but i guess technology changes and digital cameras are nowadays idiot proof and convenient so i'll go for digital.
8. PREFER CUTE/iDiOT OR SMART/UGLY?
seriously wat kind of question is this? how abt smart and cute cause afterall the meaning of cute is ugly but adorable haha...
9. ARE YOU iN A STABLE RELATiONSHiP WiTH YOUR
BF/GF/CRUSH?
wat relationship?
10. YOU`D EXPECT A TEXT MESSAGE USUALLY FROM:
i dont sit around expecting a text msg.. hello got better things to do =P
11. HAVE A BEST FRiEND THAT iS iN THE OPPOSiTE
GENDER? WHO?
I dont really believe in best friends but if you consider close friend its gotta be wan
12. WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHEN YOU`RE DEPRESSED?
hmm.. go to anywhere which has a huge body of water like the river, reservoir or sea and just stone and blast music on my discman...
13. CHEERFUL OR BORiNG?
me? i can be both. depends on the occasion/situation/mood. =P
14. DESCRiBE A PERFECT DATE.
hmm.. i donno, have never been on a date before, dont really know how it actually goes and stuff, so if i ever do that person should at least surprise me or something but then i just like things simple.
15. EVER WONDERED WHY NOBODY KNOWS WHY HUMANS
EXIST?
GOD isnt nobody.
16. EVER BEEN HURT BY LOVE?
if u havent been hurt...its not love...
17. WiLL YOU EVER MAKE THE SAME MiSTAKE AGAiN?
WITH LOVE???
i have no idea, sometimes even tho you learn from a mistake sometimes habit takes over, it all depends on how you really learn from it and not want to make the same mistake again.
18. EVER HATED ANYONE LiKE HELL?
hmm.. okie when i found out somebody ate my kinder bueno in the refrigerator without telling me and i still donno who did it argh! hehe...
19. DO YOU DO ANYTHiNG WHEN A PERSON BREAKS UP
WiTH YOU AFTER ONE DAY?
and why would i be in a relationship with tat person in the first place??
20. GiVE ONE WORD THAT BEST DESCRiBES WHAT
YOU`RE FEELiNG NOW.
cold, sleepy and hungry =P oh wait thats three words haha...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/12/2004 08:07:00 PM
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Saturday, July 10, 2004
Slide
Even on a day like this when you're crawling on the floor
Reaching for the phone to ring anyone who knows you anymore
It's all right to make mistakes
you're only human
Inside everybody's hiding something
Staring at the same four walls, have you tried to help yourself
The rings around your eyes they don't hide, that you need to get some rest
It's all right to make mistakes
you're only human
Inside everybody's hiding something
Take time to catch your breathe and choose your moment
Don't slide
Even at a time like this when the morning seems so far
Think that pain belongs to you but it's happened to us all
It's all right to make mistakes
you're only human
Inside everybody's hiding something
Take time to catch your breathe and choose your moment
Don't slide
You brought this on yourself
and it's high time you left it there
Lie here and rest your head
and dream of something else instead
Don't slide
||:PreCiouS:||
7/10/2004 12:10:00 AM
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Friday, July 09, 2004
well the four winds mtg didnt happen so killed time by stoning at the reservoir before meeting up with nuraini and noreen to go for TP's Jam & Hop.
Actually if i were to comment bout the Jam & Hop i initially found the soccer match tat was going on at the field more interesting cause the band that was playing kinda sucked. They should get better vocalists, honestly =P
But as soon as the sun began to set things started picking up and overall i guess i had a good time altho my legs are tired haha...
seriously need to learn the TP dance man, i was dancing all over the place wahaha... well at least i wasnt the only one who didnt know it, but still it was a lot of fun =P
should do this again sometime.. release stress haha...
i think i can understand a bit why some ppl go clubbing even tho i personally dont encourage it.. waste of money i say but that's my own opinion =)
||:PreCiouS:||
7/09/2004 11:38:00 PM
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hmm.. seems i've been posting almost everyday from school...
i wonder why... its like i need to blog whatever i'm feeling at that particular point of time before i can really start on my work... nvm as long as it works for me i'm fine with tat.
So here i am sitting in the free access lab doing nothing.
I feel like doing nothing on a friday afternoon.
Only had morning classes today so i'm kinda done for the day, waiting with anticipation for LComm prelab work to come out wahaha.. but there may be no pre lab work cause it doesnt say anything bout it in next week's Lcomm schedule, but you'll never know hehe..
Well waiting for 5pm to come cause there's a four winds mtg, i wonder what's going on with that, there's hasnt been any news bout it so far...
oh yea i need ideas for the law notice board!!
been getting the hint of having to ravamp the board, have one or two ideas still yet deciding if its feasible but ideas from anyone reading this is most welcomed =)
Hmm.. maybe i should go walk around school for awhile, maybe get an ice cream, hmm... brownie with ice-cream yumyum...
been online with naddy for awhile and she's been mentioning chicken rice troughout the convo and yes i'm hungry, maybe i'll get some chicken rice for dinner wahaha.. donno lah...
well till the next entry..
toodlez! =P
||:PreCiouS:||
7/09/2004 03:51:00 PM
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Thursday, July 08, 2004
You know why sometimes i dont bother telling people if i'm unwell/sick?
Cause sometimes people dont seem to believe me.
Most common response that i get...
"But you look okay what."
haha...
well...
when you're sick you dont necessarily need to look sick
looks can be deceiving...
and another thing
when someone says they are ok
are they actually telling the truth?
not necessarily
||:PreCiouS:||
7/08/2004 11:34:00 PM
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should i?
really seems tempting
changing into a cynical biatch
acrew the world kind of thing
like anyone would really care what i do
somehow all the good in me has somehow slipped out
drained out
lifeless soul
in a sick body
tired of it all
whatever
feel like saying
get lost to everyone
let me jump
and maybe the world will be a better place for some people.
who will miss the old me?
no one
cause i'm just as forgetable as any person you see on the streets
the back of my mind says NO
STOP IT
Carpe Diem!
bah humbug
no one can save me
no one ever does
i'm just a mistake in some people's life
a red mark in a perfect record card
a speck of dust on a perfectly white sheet
a dissapointment in the eye of a loved one
with a life less ordinary
a life of shattered dreams
a life with a lot of pit holes
a life of little hope
i'm sorry
got too much negative thoughts running in my head
dont even know why i'm apologizing
see i dont make a good biatch
bah
can somebody just shoot me now
feeling dreadfully sick
if this goes on i just might as well be dead
save a lot of people a ton of trouble
especially on medical bills
||:PreCiouS:||
7/08/2004 02:59:00 PM
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right now in lab 10 trying to do LComm lab work due tomorrow but my mind is currently blank right now.
currently everything seems like a daze to me. Really not in the mood in doing anything.
Its like feeling wasted...
very tempting to slip into oblivion...
but i cant
cause i have tons of things to do
and these things are the only things that keeps me going
Also found out once again i'm being left out of certain things. Not surprised, like who am i in the first place for people to actually remember my presence.
I guess i've been right all along.
You cant expect/hope too much from someone cause in the end they will only bring you down.
so i'll just ignore this matter altogether. No use me dwelling upon some things that don't concern me, or at least i think. If i dont know bout anything i'm not in the wrong am i? so who really cares.
anyhow i think somehow some people would misintepret what i'm trying to say and come up with their own conclusions and get it wrong.
so please stop trying to analyse what ever i say and keep thinking of it negatively.
sick and tired of this analytical shite
why make up your own assumptions when all you gotta do is ask?
sheesh
||:PreCiouS:||
7/08/2004 02:12:00 PM
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Wednesday, July 07, 2004
I actually went in for intro to psycho lecture today. What so surprising about that you may ask? oh cause i'm not taking tat subject haha.. just went in to see what it was all about, from tania's notes looked kinda interesting and the lecturer did look interesting and also added to the fact that i've nothing better to do, needed to get away from assignments for awhile, so i went in and true enough the lecture was interesting. His way of teaching was kinda different from the average lecturers you'll normally see, maybe because he's a caucasian but that's beside the point... by the end of the lecture i actually understood the lesson and actually remembered the key points haha...
interesting...
any of you watch a child's hope?
i think somehow i'm in the same boat as jinghao was before... well like all typical tv shows she has that worked out already and i'm still having tat dilemma.
If you're wondering what i'm talking about, if you do watch the show use your power of deduction, maybe you'll understand.. haha...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/07/2004 09:34:00 PM
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Tuesday, July 06, 2004
sometimes i dont see the point of explaining oneself
might as well let people think what they wanna think
what's the purpose of defending oneself if it doesnt actually serve any purpose...
waste of my time
lets just say i'm at the point where
i dont really give a damn
if you wanna say or think that i'm this kind of person or that kind of person
fine go ahead
at least i know myself
i know what i am doing
at least my conscience is clear
Been observing ppl lately
been noticing some stuff that i've been missing
noticing stuff that you'll only notice when you really take time to observe
and conclusions that i come up with
surprisingly i'm not the only one who cames up with the same conclusion/opinion
wonders never cease to amaze me
haha...
and been wondering also
about some people
what their agenda really are
are they doing it for the so called 'fame', the prestige
or are doing it out of sincerity from their hearts
i'm doubting bout the latter tho
anyways...
leave you guys with one of my current fave song =P
::::My Happy Ending::::
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
[Chorus]
It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
[Chorus x2]
[x2]
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending
oh yea before i forget...
i know i've wished you twice but decided to dedicate this small spase to you haha...
hmm.. by the time this is published it will be pass 12 so happy belated i guess haha...
anyways hope your day was great and all the best in whatever you do! god bless! =)
Another person's birthday today and the thing is i donno to spell his name... hmm.. is it wei ming or huey ming?? argh! and he's in my class for godsakes! nvm will get to know him better as the day goes by. Happy birthday to him too although i dont think he'll be reading this haha...
hmm.. i think that's all the birthdays for now...
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
7/06/2004 11:25:00 PM
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Got this from an email from a good friend of mine. Decided to share this with you guys... something to take into consideration and something you should know about or subconsiously know about but refuse to see it...
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as Important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't
have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear
it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
note: this is an extract from an email so you may agree or disagree with the content... its just something to think about... =)
||:PreCiouS:||
7/06/2004 12:21:00 AM
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Monday, July 05, 2004
Quizzes.. actually its just one =P
The down-to-earth girl
Which girl stereotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
||:PreCiouS:||
7/05/2004 11:16:00 PM
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ok.
i'm jealous of ppl who have their own rooms
argh
pathetic i know
but sharing a room with two other people ever since you can remember has their limits.
seriously. especially if your stuff goes missing when you really need to use it.. sigh...
tralala....
::::::things i need to do::::::
1) get our bedroom organised
->go to ikea to get boxes to pack up my unused stuff
->those noticeboards for room/important announcements
2) get my bed cleared cause seriously i've been sleeping on
the floor cause my siblings love to put all their stuff on
my bed when they have their own cupboards...
3) get the entrepeneurship proposal over and done with
4) go back to that place by tomorrow so they'll stop bugging me
to come back
5) collect my hard lens from the doctor.. i'm seriously going
blind... argh need reading glasses... =P
6) decide for sure if i'm running for law inc again
cant think anything else...
hmm... feels like i got a lot of things to do... maybe i'll add to the list later once the rest comes to mind...
||:PreCiouS:||
7/05/2004 06:33:00 PM
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Woke up today feeling utterly sick but forced myself to get up because first there was the Lcomm pre-lab assignment to hand in by 10am and also the crim pro write up which is due today at 5pm. argh contemplating of going to the doctor, yet to decide, if by the end of today nothing goes wrong i dont think i would go.
oh and i did i mention the other day i got a jab in my arm not sure for what and it still hurts.. painful reminder.. something i do not need...
Anyway... Greece won! woohoo! i knew it. Told amin and izhary that Greece will win but dont believe me.. see told you so, hello with a good player like Angelos Charisteas and a great defence team of course greece would win... haha... *does victory dance* =P
anyways below is an extract from yesterday's Sunday times that i wanna share with you guys...
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ONE PEOPLE... ONE NATION... BUT...
Are we one class?
Talking about class should no longer be taboo, if NUS sociologist Tan Ern Ser has his way. In a book just out, he sheds some light on this complex subject. Susan Long reports.
BANKING officer Alex Tan, 25, has a ritual he performs every working day at the end of his drive from his Hougang flat to his Shenton Way office. After parking his Toyota, he pauses to peel the HDB carpark label off his windscreen before putting on his tie.
Forgetting, he says with a shudder, would mean betraying his heartlander roots, and he 'can't afford that'.
Such is the contradiction that is Singapore society. It is built along meritocratic - and hence theoretically classless - lines, but there are those among it who are class-conscious to the extent that where you go to school, what kind of house you live in and what car you drive are all studied assiduously as reflections of the 'class' you belong to.
To adapt the National Day tagline, is Singapore 'one people, one nation, one class' - and that's the middle class - or is it a crassly class-conscious country?
NUS don Tan Ern Ser
To get to the bottom of this class issue - a conundrum with many conjectures but little data - sociology don Tan Ern Ser from the National University of Singapore (NUS) decided to commission a survey. Started in 2001 and published as a book last month, the study covered 2,250 Singaporeans, aged 15 to 64, from all races and living in all housing types.
Minefield of class
THE aim of the associate professor who teaches a course on social stratification: To map out Singapore's class structure and its relationship with aspects of socio-political life here, like welfarism, political participation, national pride, success values, unionism and social mobility.
The last major survey on social class in Singapore, headed by sociologist Stella Quah, was done in 1991, using data culled in 1983. The absence of any major study since leads some sociologists to say that there seems to have been 'a national complicit pact' to sidestep the minefield of class here.
Not that Singapore society would be the only one reluctant to talk about class. Most contemporary societies around the world are. Class became passe with the resounding defeat of Marxism as a form of political organisation in recent decades.
As Dr Tan notes in his book, Does Class Matter?, a class society is, by Marxian definition, one characterised by class conflict, tension and struggle, and possibly eventual transformation into a socialist society.
Ideologically, the class perspective sits uncomfortably with nation-building in a capitalist economy 'as class inequality must somehow be reconciled with national solidarity and unity'.
Besides the reek of revolution, class also carries the hint of a danger of divisiveness.
A memorable quote on class conflict comes from American academics Richard Sennett and Jonathan Cobb, who note in their book, The Hidden Injuries Of Class: 'Class is like a fur coat - soft and warm to wrap around you if you have it, a constant goad and affront if you're one of those left out in the cold.'
In the local context, as Associate Professor Kwok Kian Woon, who heads Nanyang Technological University's sociology department, notes: 'Class matters to the extent that people in lower classes experience forms of social exclusion.'
So, rather than risk riling those without fur coats, Singapore's policy-makers and political leaders have long used polite euphemisms.
Hence, not the 'poor', but the 'lower-income groups'. There's a divide, not between classes, but between the 'haves' and the 'have-nots'.
And society at large has also 'conveniently forgotten' how to talk about class, says Mr Low Kee Hong, associate artistic director of TheatreWorks and a former sociology lecturer at NUS. Class, in effect, has been engineered out of the Singaporean vocabulary.
He takes the charge one step further, arguing that Singaporeans have been 'segregated at birth into ethnic groups and conditioned to think of class problems as community problems'.
'Our language for comparison with each other revolves around ethnicity, education levels and income groups, but not class, which cuts much deeper. It's obvious that our social engineering has been very successful,' he says.
Proxy of progress
AS FAR back as 1975, a sociologist at the University of Singapore, Peter Chen, argued in a paper on growth and income distribution, that judging from data on social mobility, Singapore had already attained 'middle-class' status.
In 1987, that label rose to prominence again when then prime minister Lee Kuan Yew declared Singapore a 'middle-class society', based on the criterion that more than 80 per cent of Singaporeans owned the property they lived in.
Since then, the growth of the middle class has been looked to as a proxy of progress here.
The official rhetoric, sociologists note, remains that as long as the middle class is expanding and overtaking the working and lower classes in size, all is well.
This is because the flip side - a stratified society - makes for a 'disunited, maladjusted front' and spells obvious problems in socio-economic policy.
But national aspirations aside, citizens too have a middling tendency and prefer to belong, than to jut out as outliers.
As Dr Tan's survey found out, when asked to slot themselves into six class categories ranging from lower to upper, an overwhelming 87 per cent of respondents identified themselves in the middle four. Only 12 per cent relegated themselves to the lower class and 1 per cent to the upper class.
Mr Low notes: 'Most will rather envision themselves as middle class than as anything else.
'They ask themselves: Am I successful? Do I have a car, house, family? If yes, then I'm OK, I'm middle class.'
According to sociologist Sharon Siddique, it helps that Singapore society does not have the 'extremes of poverty and wealth' that exist in other Asian cities like Jakarta, Bangkok or Manila.
Also, given the general affluence, decent living conditions and relatively low unemployment rate here, Dr Tan notes most Singaporeans do feel 'middle class' - and rightly so.
And to the extent that those lower on the socio-economic ladder share the same middle-class aspirations, their hopes for a better tomorrow help mitigate the presence of objective class differences, says Dr Tan.
It helps too that there are many assistance schemes from the Government and charity organisations which these citizens can call upon in their quest to break out of the poverty trap.
Uphill task
HOWEVER, Mr Low is still worried. He says the insistent projection of a 'one big happy middle-class family' supports 'the rhetoric that we are progressing', but 'it does not address the fact that a growing number are also being left behind'.
Globalisation is widening the rifts between the haves and have-nots, and this is being manifested in more than material terms.
Take computer usage as an example. As Dr Tan's survey uncovered, only 31 per cent of the 'lower class' felt comfortable using the computer, compared to 87 per cent of the 'upper class' and 77 per cent of the middle.
Or skills upgrading: Only 5 per cent of the lower class - who presumably would benefit most - was currently enrolled in upgrading courses, next to 14 per cent of the upper class and 15 per cent of the middle class.
Where does this leave Singapore and Singaporeans? If the figures above are extrapolated, what will ensue years down the road is the 'haves' having more and the 'have-nots' getting less.
It's an uphill task for any government trying to alleviate these trends. As Dr Tan observes with some sense of resignation: 'You have a system which tries to provide a level playing field, coupled with rewarding by merit. But like it or not, wealth, inheritance and social background do have an impact on one's life-chances, opportunities and social mobility. In short, opportunities are never truly equal.'
For the individual however, there are many things he can do to tend to his own patch of the playing field.
And these are not restricted to peeling off parking labels.
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Just something to think about...
talking about class in society, take a minute and observe some things happening in school.. its happening here to...
lets just say education wise. How clever you are or hardworking you are it actually plays apart, people do classify you if you really look closely...
waddaya think?
||:PreCiouS:||
7/05/2004 01:26:00 PM
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