Sunday, July 25, 2004

i've freakin bloody had it
i'm sick and tired of it all
i find myself losing temper easily
and feeling bad about it later
i'm just freakin tired
sometimes just feel like curling into a corner
and just cry
and let it all out
but everytime i feel like breaking down
i cant allow myself to...
its just so damn frustrating
with everything that's going on...
everyday i always try to play the role
of someone who is in control
and i guess i've been good at dodging questions
when people tend to ask what's wrong...
funny when i was facing the sea recently
i felt like going in
walking towards the middle
and be swept away by the strong current
i donno maybe i'm just mad
somehow rite now i just wanna feel pain
cause somehow it helps numb the actual pain
or just continue cycling and actually feel free
that i'm running away from everything
that nothing else mattes...
i know i should be talking to someone
but then i donno if it would ever help
cause i wont know where to start
or what to say
who says that i wont be holding back
even if i would say anything...
i'm just mad at myself rite now...
somehow i just wish this anger, emptiness and pain would just go away...
i cant always be strong
i have my moments of weakness too
so sue me
enuff said...
before i say anything more hurtful...

||:PreCiouS:||
7/25/2004 07:13:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.