Sunday, August 15, 2004

Running away...

i so feel like running away rite now. To another place, another life, another me... somehow i feel like i NEED to get away from everything.... EVERYTHING... i wanna go somewhere where i'm a total unknown (like i'm "known" rite now wahaha), somewhere that is different, somewhere i can totally get lost in and really be living life...

cause i'm getting tired, i'm getting tired of the endless routine that i have to put up with in school, i'm tired of the constant worrying and thoughts that go thru my head day in and day out, i'm sick and tired of being the responsible one and getting stepped on, i'm sick and tired of myself physically for not being able to do things that i wanna do and falling sick almost every week, i'm tired of feeling empty and alone all the time, i'm tired of the constant pain that i feel in my heart, i'm tired of putting up a brave front all the time and having to stay strong, i'm tired of trying to please ppl all the time and having to put off and sacrifice what i wanna do, i'm tired of constantly being hurt by ppl i care abt, i'm tired of thinking of what other ppl might think...
and with all this i begin to think who am i as a person...
do i even deserve the life i'm living now when there other ppl worse off then me...
wondered if i ever made a difference...
if i even deserve God's blessings cause i havent done anything that He can be proud of...

i'm just so so tired...

i'm so sorry...

***

if your heart's not in it for real
please dont try to fake what you dont feel
if the love's already gone
its not fair to lead me on
cause i would've give the whole world for you
anything you asked of me i'd do
but i wont ask you to stay
i'd rather walk away
if your heart's not in it...

||:PreCiouS:||
8/15/2004 12:33:00 AM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.