Wednesday, September 29, 2004
the thing with mushy blogs is... that they are waayyy mushy!!
*faintz*
haha... but then everyone is entitled to their own style of expression....
i have no idea what i'm blogging about rite now...
trying to kill time and at the same time trying to make sense of balance day adjustments hurhur... =P
Watched "ghost" yesterday evening with my 3 favourite ppl (naddy, melly & kabby) and naddy's mummie =)
okie initiallly i didnt want to watch it cause i found the trailer stupid...
but then after half an hour of negotiation via conference call between the 5 of us and despite naddy's protests, "ghost" was decide upon cause the alternative movie choice had no more seats left...
(i still think the title is stupid... v.cheesy =P)
anyways....
its a horror movie rite?
but the thing is.. i was laughing at some parts of the movie
wahaha.. seriously... altho the sound effects are scary/loud and all that but i'm starting to notice the same patterns of all horror movies... and i was so spot on at what was gonna happen next in the movie... sheesh man...
and why do all female "ghosts" have extremely long frizzled unruly black hair?????
why cant they have short hair or nicely styled hair or colored hair???
and another thing...
why are the dead always shown as lookin horrible??
and what's with the white gown? so not original....
well the prequel to the exorcist is coming out nxt wk.. wonder if its gonna be good?
saw the trailer to 'the forgotten'... definitely looks interesting, i wanna watch hehe...
then there's also the american remake of ju-on, feat. sarah michelle gellar... wonder if its gonna be any good... is hollywood running out of scripts that they have to do a remake of it??? first it was the ring, now ju-on? haiz...
oh yea btw, the eggs ban is gonna be lifted today.. or is it tmr??
i forgot hehe..
anyways what i'm trying to get is you'll never appreciate the value of something till its very scarce or in some cases gone...
eggs used to cost like 10 for a dollar???
last time i heard eggs were like 50 cents per egg.. whoa...
i pity those who consume like 12 eggs per day...
but now the lift of the ban should be good news to alot of ppl, especially egg deprived peeps haha...
LIFE! feature article yesterday was their interview with Richard Marx and he was quoted as saying that he hated American Idol cause it's very commercial and all that...
gotta agree with him on his opinion...
its like, sure the winners have gd voices and all that, esp like Clay Aiken, but they are very commercial... do they have talent?creativity? that's another question...
look at Singapore Idol itself... the judges are repeatedly focusing on the commercialisation aspects of the whole competition...
As long as you look good and sound good you're okay... o.0"
hmmz...
sure its a good platform for aspiring singers, but how long can they last by singing what they are given to sing?
okie its 7am already...
i think i shld get back to my balance day adjustments *bleargh*
the only topic that i still dont get in accounting...
I get the theory, as in why they have it but i'm still confused on why it goes where its suppose to go you know.. like why is provision for doubtful debts on the credit side?? haha...
nvm.. i'll figure it out soon enough =P
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
9/29/2004 06:16:00 AM
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Sleepless....
Shite.. i 've been tossing and turning for abt an hour already and i cant fall asleep!!!
man this can't be happening...
i need sleep but i cant seem to fall asleep
i tend to keep falling asleep at the wrong times!!!
howhowhowhow????
am i turning into an insomniac?
nooooooooooooo
damndamndamn...
and best thing is my stomach is growling rite now... haiz...
maybe since i cant sleep, i can use the time to do some revision...
sigh..
why not...
||:PreCiouS:||
9/28/2004 03:55:00 AM
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Monday, September 27, 2004
Well...
with regards to my previous previous post.... i didnt fall asleep straight away as planned...
i spent an hour staring at the ceiling before finally giving up and switching on the comp again wahaha....
thank god there were some peeps who were still online at that time...
oh btw thanks for playing online pool with me hehe =P
well before i knew it, it was 7 plus already... decided to finally get some shut eye before lcomm class but still failed to... haha... so finally took a shower and fell asleep at 8am wahahaha...
geez
this cant continue man
my clock is really screwed
and to think that all my papers are gonna be at freakin 9am!!!!
This week totally gonna be mugging for the exams...
i dont think i'll be at the same spot everyday....
wld probably be at woodlands lib, esplanade lib or school lib.... depending on which day hurhur...
hmm... somehow hanging out with melly has turned me into somewhat like a pig! argh! i'm always hungry it seems nowadays...
argh must control..
fasting month coming soon... haha...
lookin forward to it actually... well cept for wat comes after the fasting month...
if you know me you'll know why...
hmmz...
i think i shld get back to mugging...
well till then
salute! =)
||:PreCiouS:||
9/27/2004 10:33:00 PM
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Quotable Convos
~ while playing yahoo pool early this morning ~
(just pieces of the convo)
NYC person : so where are you from?
me: Singapore
NYC person: are you poor?
me: huh? why that question?
NYC person: isnt your country a third world country?
(wahahahaha... yea and we have wireless broadband internet access *rolls eyes*)
oh it gets better
NYC person: are you asian?
me: yup
NYC person: so can you do martial arts?
me: nope
NYC person: so do you always eat with chopsticks?
(omg!!! wahaha..okie seriously, i think the only thing this guy know about anything asia is what he watch in movies wahaha wth? where has he been for the past century???)
********************************
~ This afternoon at the interchange ~
i overheard this convo while queing up at the interchange...
person: yah they like my hair this way when i was young..
i didnt hear wat the next person's response was... but she continued....
person: yea they told me i look more mature now then before blahblahblah
(okie i could only hear selected pieces of the convo cause i was busy untangling my earphones wahaha...)
well me being me curious turned to see who was saying all this stuff...
omg and believe it or not...
it was a primary school kid.... o.0
haiz kids nowadays ar... tsktsk.... =P
||:PreCiouS:||
9/27/2004 10:16:00 PM
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person: sorry i asked
me: nobody died
so dont apologize alrite??
what were we talking abt??
i failed my clent interview
tats wat
wohoo
there goes my aim to get a distinction for lcomm
bah...
the end of the semester is getting suckier by the moment...
haiz...
i wonder how i'm gonna fair for my other subjects...
i guess accounts is my only hope in getting any As
bleargh...
so much for law subjects.. i'll be lucky if i can get a C or a pass
things havent been good for me academically
so dejavu.. hmm... so secondary school all over again....
haiz azi you can do better then this...
and here i am talking to myself haha...
almost 3am and i'm still up!!!???
sheesh
and i have class at 11am later...
class??
during study break??
yep
class...
by mr fj himself...
for lcomm wat else... haiz...
and i wanted to forget all abt it...
damn...
well anyways...
had surprising comments by some ppl that i wanna talk abt...
but i'm too tired to say any of it right now...
will blog abt it later i suppose...
now have to go to sleep
dont wanna be late for lcomm now would we?
haha...
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
9/27/2004 02:51:00 AM
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Sunday, September 26, 2004
i think i'm getting addicted to yahoo pool!!!!
i've been playing non stop for the past 4 hours!!!!
oh man...
haha...
i'm actually multi tasking, can u believe it??!!?
=P
hmmz.. my lil' bro is sick
he's been coughing non stop...
really worried...
my other bro's sick too
he's old injury is acting up and now he's using crutches...
haiz...
damn worried siah...
well aida hasnt called at all nor has she msged...
so i guess tmr might not be happening...
sigh.. so wat am i suppose to do??
i need to get out haiz...
started to think abt the maternal side of the family
and it struck me how "big" some of my cuzzins have grown...
two of my cuzzins are in TP also
one is in biomed i think
the other is in design... IMD i think...
well the one in biomed is the kind of guy gals will go after
and the one in design is the kind of gal the guys will go after...
another cuzzin of mine is in ite and another is in wat used to be outram institute and both are the kind of guys gals go for...
hmmz...
and i'm the kind of gal no one goes for.. wahaha...
sorry side trackked...
its funny actually how memories of your childhood years spent together with them is still fresh in your memory, its as if it only happened yesterday... but now we're not so close cause as we got older we dont interact as much as we used to...
kinda sad actually...
but at least we still greet each other went we bump into each in school or the interchange haha...
well as for my much younger cuzzins... i dont see them as often as i like... honestly they are all much more closer to my sis cause i'm always the absent one... i'm not a big fan of family functions... cause to me its always the same and i'm always the target of never ending questions frm my aunt and uncles...
at least they are not from my dad's side.. now that i really loathe..
cause why?
they are all fake.
and after my dad passed away they even said my family was a nuisance... can u believe that??? wtf and we didnt even ask them for anything sheesh... i dont know why they dislike us so much? just because we are not as well to do? cause we dont think and act like they do? sheesh man...
haiz... problems when u have a large family... no surprises here on why i prefer being alone away from hyprocites like them...
damn i'm hungry!
hungryhungry...
and there's no food! i dont even have instant noodles...
darn... i'm gonna starve till tmr
shite...
sigh...
||:PreCiouS:||
9/26/2004 01:40:00 AM
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Saturday, September 25, 2004
Been bloggin more then usual lately...
i reckon one day peeps will get bored with this place
but nvm its mine anyways tralalala...
at home two days in a row, not even stepping out of the house...
argh! i'm going crazie in here... the thing is i wouldnt know where to go if i do step out of the house.. no plans whatsoever...now my conscience is saying "azi go and study!!!" haha... and the thing is my study mode is not turned on yet... sigh...
sure i'm a fast learner, i pick up things easily, i'm the master of trial and error... but when it comes to theory and exams i suck... even if my coursework is very good to my standards my exams results never fail to bring me down... argh... i'm an exam jinx! i think exams should be banned! bring on the projects and coursework!! haha..
i hope aida confirms tomorrow's outing, been a looonnngg time since i've seen her, wan and ifah last... sigh... if not then i'll be stuck at home again... or maybe i'l just go to the beach on my own... we'll see....
finally caught grease 2 on tv just now and its no wonder that it was a flop... gosh... i donno why in the world Michelle Pfeiffer was casted as Stephanie in the movie??? there wasnt any energy from her, its like she was forced to act in the movie... and she shouldnt have started singing *bleargh* she makes nicole kidman sound even better haha...
well the only consolation was Maxwell Caulfield as Micheal.. now he was hot... haha...
i was thinking of the storyline and something came to mind...
do guys actually do that??? i mean do whatever it takes to get the gal?
i dont think it happens now only on rare occassions do you actually see guys doing that.. nowadays guys are the shy ones... fear of rejection? hey if the gal is worth it that shouldnt be a problem should it??
oh yea before i forget...
do you just hate it when someone tells you what you think for you
or what you're suppose to feel?
it just irks me you know, especially when the person doesnt know even know who you are!!
Especially when its abt matters close to your heart...
i think ppl shld just shuddup when they dont have anything better to say...
and why when getting to know a person you need to know wat someone's parents do etcetc?
and enough of the condolences and trying to help alright?
its been 7 freaking years!!!! enough is enough already... bloody hell...
wanna help? rrigght i so believe em'. no strings attached they say... yea right...
thanks but no thanks...
sorrie just had to vent somewhere...
i think i'm getting hungry...
shld go look for food now...
will blog more later...
salute!
||:PreCiouS:||
9/25/2004 04:35:00 PM
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Friday, September 24, 2004
man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. whatever he does to the web, he does to himself..
nice title right? i thought so too =)
and it very much applies to me currently...
cause why?
everytime i manage to cheer myself up bad news keeps smashing in my face!!!
somehow in my heart i knew what was coming...
and somehow someway somewhat
i think its my fault
its my fault cause maybe i could have done better
one fatal mistake and that's it
no more chances
you lost azi
you're a god damn failure
you are nothing
you are not who you thought you could be...
and because of this you brought others down with you
you dissapointed your team...
okok i shall stop
that's the very negative side of me
bad karma sheesh...
on a lighter note...
didnt go to school today
my muscles and back was killing me
i donno why cause it just happens
*shrugs*
these are the few moments i wish i was normal...
anyways...
caught up on alot of tv shows and movies...
finally caught an episode of newlyweds on channel i
(i think it was the last episode)
i must say nick is the most romantic guy i've ever seen in my entire life.. honestly!!!
he is so in love with jessica and vice versa...
seriously they make a gd couple... *sighs*
watched yesterday's singapore idol on tape and okie the horror singers were really horrific... one of them spoiled 'the prayer' for me arghhh!!! but really these ppl had guts... they knew where they stood and they believe in themselves enough to still stand up, smile, perform and take with them constructive feedback...
oh and they brought back sadhli.. sadhli was the guy who withdrew from top 100 cause he had reponsibilities that was top priority that he has to fulfill as he was the eldest son and i salute him for that...
I guess that episode is somewhat to show viewers to dare to dream and not be afraid to try... hmmz...
well survivor today dolly got voted off... not surprising really.. did you see how she played the game??? her tactic was stupid no wonder she pissed of the older grp and eliza was damn smart to vote with them... the guys finally got their fire and well gotta say tat both tribes' pot are being stirred damn well... alliances are beginning to take form =)
Finally got to watch the terminal...
Gotta say that tom hanks is an excellent actor.. very moving story about what a son will go through just to finish what his late father started out to do. For those who havent caught it yet you guys should, totally recommended....
also caught myself a preview of princess diaries 2: royal engagement...
for those who really liked the first one, you'll like the 2nd one too =) well no surprises here.. the princess found her prince charming and she became queen after passing the motion of abolishing the old law of princesses having to marry first before she can become queen...
(and i begin to wonder if i'll ever find my own prince charming.. wahaha... rite.. azi dream on =P )
sigh... well...
exams is in a weeks time.. gotta start my revision soon.. veryvery soon...
maybe i'll start tomorrow.. sort out all my files and stuff....
really hope my days will start to get better...
somehow the grey clouds hanging over my head are starting to get irritating =P
haha...
salute =)
||:PreCiouS:||
9/24/2004 11:31:00 PM
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Random Thoughts: Of Destiny, Faith and Believing
Maybe I should start believing in destiny.
That everything will come in their right time.
I guess i'm never meant to have whatever is it that i feel is missing
in a way i guess i should have more patience...
you know how it feels like to be left out of the loop?
when you feel like you're the odd one out
and you have no control neither any power to change it...
god put us where we are for a reason
i guess i should let go and not always be on guard
let my mind and heart take me where i should go
believe in all things beautiful
and at the same time not escape from reality...
I let my fear dictate how i view things
and i guess it needs to stop
my constant doubts are traitors
and it is time i question myself no more
if not lesser then usual...
I hope i placed my faith in a good place
and not let it dissapoint me once more...
Only time will tell...
Tell me is it wrong
to believe in a person so much
that they dont realise that their actions
are slowly killing you from the inside?
when they dont know how much you care for them
and they think you love them any lesser?
When they think you are slowly drawing away from them
when actually you're giving them space for what they wanna do?
When you put so much trust and faith in the person
that you dont even know why you're doing it
cause the person shuts you out everytime and
you dont know what your real feelings are
towards the person and vice versa?
and time and time again the person unknowingly hurts you so much
and you just dont give up, cause you keep believing in the good of the person
cause you think you know what the person is going thru?
haha.. hmm... talk abt issues...
i just hope that wherever my faith lies within i dont get gutted to often...
cause what's life without dissapointments and your heart getting shredded into pieces...
secretly i hope one day destiny will save me and
maybe all my believes arent on false grounds or false hopes...
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
9/24/2004 06:07:00 PM
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Random Thoughts....
There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rupture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes
By the deep sea, and music in its roar;
I love not man the less
but nature more,
from these our interviews, in which i steal
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe
and feel what i can never express,
yet cannot conceal...
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
9/24/2004 01:07:00 PM
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These few days i've been feeling like shite..
honest to god i need to get away...
ppl around me arent helping at all
even ppl i call friends...
i think i need to take a breather....
i need to stop to think and reflect...
maybe i'll drop by the reservoir tomorrow...
alone...
as usual...
somehow now more then ever i feel lke going for a run
hmm...
maybe that's why i run so much in my dreams...
sheesh gerl...
i have this excess energy i need to burn...
but my heart wont allow me to run...
arrgh....
i wish somehow i will be caught in the middle of a downpour
and i'll just sit down in the middle of nowhere and let it rain on me
maybe it'll wash away my problems too.. haiz...
i so dont need this right now...
sure i'll smile and i'll laugh
but can you see the hurt inside?
sure you wont cause you're not me...
i dont know.. somehow i feel like i'm at a blocked road...
i've been struggling so much that i'm at the verge of drowning
and i can see faces above me just looking...
looking and staring and letting me drown...
and in their minds they are saying
"let her drown"
"she deserves it"
voices
shadows
nightmares
reality
so which is which?
everything is so infused...
surrounded by people
idle chatter
but cant help but feel alone
all alone
when things arent like it seems to be
caught in between two things
whatever it may be....
i cant continue doing this...
but what choice do i have?
******************
to my taggers thanks for your encouragement, reason why i lurve you guys =)
oh yea matsie i reckon why me and lily may sound alike cause probably we were from the same ITE? haha.. i donno =P
oh and latha no need to kick anyone, might as well kick me instead haha.. maybe that's what i need a good kicking =P
anyways i dont wanna be held responsible for other peep's injuries...
oooh and naz i have to agree with you, i like iz's version better cause he sang from his heart tats why =)
||:PreCiouS:||
9/24/2004 01:23:00 AM
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Thursday, September 23, 2004
i dont know whether i should scream, laugh or cry...
i dont know how someone can make me even doubt myself
question the way i do things so much that i got so damn pissed off
pissed off at the person
pissed off at myself for letting myself be pissed off
what's wrong bout telling me straight in the face?
what's with people saying things behind my back like
i'm some stupid idiot????
i'm still learning
i have my own way of doing things
thanks for the silence
really appreciate it
damn now i feel like running
literally
bah...
||:PreCiouS:||
9/23/2004 10:18:00 PM
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The script...
<$BlogArchiveName$>
||:PreCiouS:||
9/23/2004 01:44:00 PM
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Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Guilt
I suddenly feel like i need to blog about this
No matter how many times i try to let it pass
it still eats me within
the guilt that i'm carrying...
sigh...
yesterday was the interview assessment feedback lecture
headed by the duchess herself lpb
and there was a re-enactment of one of the best grp
okie no probs with any of that...
but i got depressed...
guilt swamped me from every angle...
why?
cause my team didnt do as good as we did before
and i blame myself...
all of em' relied on me
i was good at this
it was my forte
but i screwed up
messed up
i let them down...
i was drowning during the interview
struggling
why was nobody else speaking?
i should be able to fill the awkward silence
and i did but it was not good enough...
did i talk too much that the others was to afraid to cut in?
probably it was my fault also for not sleeping early
my mind wasnt sharp enough
questions that i should have pick up from the client
i let it pass
how could i???
what did our team get from the client?
nothing
just figures...
for what???
dammit
i cant seem to forgive myself
20% asssement marks down the drain
to my team
i'm so so sorry i failed you
||:PreCiouS:||
9/22/2004 08:53:00 PM
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Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Picture of You
well the law investiture has come and gone
the hoos and the haas
the introduction to the "sphere" which was described being a circle (????)
then how everyone is automatically in the alumnus once we graduate blahblahblah
rite...
darryl was the performance of the nite... and he still sound as boybandish as ever haha.. well i'm not complaning tho but he sang naz and iz's song noiw tats not rite... hmmz...
then this sem's class reps and treasurer being invested (which is gonna be changed next sem anyways when all the classes shuffles again)
so there's this certain redundancy of the investiture cause what abt the class reps and treasurers in sem2???
then there's the investiture of the new law inc..
erm yay?
lets just say i'll still support a certain few who are in it.
you guys know who you are.. i hope you do hehe...
well apparently they are not called law inc anymore but law inc exco...
and the concept of all law students are law inc are introduced... err.. hooray?
woohoo so we are all law inc members...
in case you're wondering yes i'm being sarcastic =P
haiz...
well to me the highlight of the day was the tribute Law Inc AY03/04...
a clip was shown of all the previous events etc...
totally awesome clip...
done by monsieur apri himself... very sweet i must say haha...
i'm still waiting for my copy =)
LAW INC AY03/04
::the whole crew yesterday with bert missing ::
::the whole crew present ::well still think our team is the best... we had our fair share of ups and downs, risk taking, irritating habits, crazie happenings, late night dinners etcetc..
and hey we survived =)
learned so much during my time in law inc, was planning to continue on but decided to give it a rest and not get in the way of some peeps...
to the new law inc i sincerly wish you guys all the best =)
Didn't they say that I would make a mistake
Didn't they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I could see it, I didn't wanna know
I let you in and you let me down
You pushed me up and you turned my whole life around
I could feel that I had no where to go
I was alone, how was I too know that..
You'll be there, when I needed somebody
You'll be there, the only one who can help me
I had a picture of you in my mind
never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
the friend that was there all along.
Who'd believe that after all we've been through
I'd be able to put my whole trust in you
Goes to show you can't forgive and forget
looking back, I have no regrets cause..
You will be there, when I needed somebody
You will be there, the only one to help me
I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
the friend that was there all along....
*********************************
p.s so.... nuraini i've updated happy now?? =P
oh yea p.s.s now that you've finally know how to tag and that it doesnt require and registration whatsoever feel free to tag... wahaha... =P
(i know she's gonna kill me for this tralalala....)
||:PreCiouS:||
9/21/2004 08:08:00 PM
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YOU
I stare at your face
Into your eyes
Outside, there's so much passing us by
All of the sounds
All of the sights
Over the earth
And Under the sky
Too much cold
And too much rain
Too much heartache to explain
Who needs the world when I've got you
Switch off the sun, the stars and the moon
I've all I need inside of this room
Who needs the world when I've got you
I walk on the street
Talk in the dark
I see people, strangers, falling apart
I open my arms
Try to be true
Seems my only truth is you
Am I wrong or am I right?
Who needs the stars so bright?
And the grass so green?
And the morning light?
Who needs the wind to blow
And the tide to rise
Who needs it?
as long as i have you
||:PreCiouS:||
9/21/2004 04:19:00 PM
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Monday, September 20, 2004
Ouch!!!
ouchouchouch!!!
argh i burnt my fingers while baking just now.... it really totally hurts like hell, well at least now it was not as bad as before... before it was worse.. i felt like my fingers were on fire bleargh...
lesson learnt: buy oven mittens next time when planning to bake again =)
only started baking at ard 1pm with alvin and mei.. mx came later ard 4pm...
we made two batches of cookes for fund raising, choc chip w/ a layer of choc on top & peanut butter cookes yumyum =)
had some leftover dough frm the peanut butter batch and mx decide to put his creative juices to work...
as you can see...
mx hard at work
mx's tribute creation before it goes into the oven
the creator & his creation
ta-dah! the final product - baked and ready to be eaten haha...
after we finshed baking, packed up and
after all of em' left for home
i was really damn tired...
then i started thinking...
why do i do the things i do? Is it all worth it at the end of the day?
That's the feeling i sometimes get but then i'd still continue doing it cause of habit in a way... well tat's one reason, the other is cause i believe in it enough to do it.. passion? i donno...
and i'm not talking abt the baking.. i'm talking abt things generally... sigh...
anyways i only started contract after the baking was done.. i really thot that it was gonna take me the whole damn night... but surprise surprise i'm finally done...
well cept' that i didnt totally follow the format suggested or else i'll still be stuck and staring at a blank screen haha...
so.. tomorrow's law investiture...
didnt wanna come intially but then heck why not in support of my friends who are getting invested.. well and there's also the fringe benefits too, free food wahaha.... yesyes typical singaporean =P well who can resist free food rite? hehe...
well even if there wasnt food i would still have come to support my friends =)
was watching singapore idol's wild card special on tape just now.. (yes i only watched it today cause i wasnt able to catch it on the actual day) and seriously the only good singer i saw was beverly. Well nana and shirin are good singers but their performance wasnt as good as before hmmz... The second singer's rendition of one last cry sucked.. hmmz... melly i liked ur version better!!! well camille's still the best =)
of the current top 12 i wonder how some ended up where they are now... hmmz...
i think i should go and sleep now...
veryberryvelly tired... esp my eyes...
i think they are getting frm bad to worse haiz...
my fault.. must find a way to sleep earlier...
well hope tomorrow is gonna be a splendid day =)
salute!
||:PreCiouS:||
9/20/2004 02:24:00 AM
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Saturday, September 18, 2004
Waiting
Just completed the minutes taking assessment. Waiting for the invigilators to collect the scripts...
It was okie i guess cept for the role players talking too fast and me unable to catch everyword they said.
I wonder if i was at a real corporate mgmt meeting and suppose to take minutes but at a faster pace, then i will get screwed =P haiz...
anyways yesterday's entry didnt come out as i wanted it to but nvm i was too tired anyways. Didnt get to sleep as early as i planned but its ok i guess since i was helping other peeps online. My eyes are damn tired now. Thinking of going home and sleep.. but i have to do my contract bleargh...
Survivor Vanuatu finally aired yesterday yay! haha.. yesh i'm a survivor fan =P
As usual the gals kicked butt, but as usual human behavior i expect that there will be a lot of girl relationship conflicts. Oh and have you guys ever notice that there is always a grping seperation of the older folks and the younger ones in each tribe? yep you could see it happening yesterday.
of all the contestants i think eliza talks too much.. maybe because she's a pre-law student? haha...
oh yea and the fBI guy is kinda cute... wahaha...
anyways after survivor they aired Linkin Park's Live in Texas... awesome performance but i felt tat it was too short... well wat do you expect if its shown on tv, so its not the full duration of it...
okie my brain just went dead... haha.. cant think of anything else to put down on this space.. later when i'm in the mood again i guess.. haha...
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
9/18/2004 10:43:00 AM
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Friday, September 17, 2004
Hmmz
Have been meaning to update but never got down to doing it due to a reason or another...
Anyways...
Have you ever been at one point of time felt so tired and added to that felt dissapointed at yourself cause you've let others down? No matter how much you try to cheer yourself up and let things be you cant seem to and end up being quieter then usual and stoning every few minutes...
then a few hours later someone or some peeps make you so mad that you wanna scream and you end up having a headache....
haiz.. there you have it ladies & gentlemen.. summary of my day...
darn tomorrow's the minute taking assessment... honestly its good practice and all but... i feel tat its kinda dumb cause it puts added pressure to students...
anways its all good, whatever haha...
well gonna be staying back after tat to hopefully finish up drafting my contract for the individual proj... hmmz really hope i can get it done by tmr since we're baking on sunday....
Recently had a dream about my ol' sec 3 partner, sweet guy really, always help give me anwers to the maths problems when my name gets called up by the teacher hehe...
But somehow i donno how he ended up in my dreams, havent seen him for the last err... 3-4yrs? haha.. and the most horrible thing was i couldnt remember his name, all i could remember that his nickname used to be "focus"... i could remember all the other guys in my class except his and there were only 3 malay guys in my class and he was my partner for a year and classmate for 3 years! how horrible is tat...
spent the whole day trying to recall his name and i ended up digging up my ol' class annual... photos cause they usually print the names of the students haha...
Yep finally found out his name.. fadhlin... now how could i have forgotten his name.. geez...
haiz really tired now... going off to sleep now or else i wont be able to wake up tomorrow hurhur...
will update more later when i'm in the mood...
salute...
||:PreCiouS:||
9/17/2004 11:12:00 PM
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Don't Stay
Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need you to go
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need to be alone
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
With no apologies
Don't stay
Don't stay
||:PreCiouS:||
9/17/2004 09:45:00 PM
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Tuesday, September 14, 2004
A ShOutToUt!!
yep a big birthday shoutout to my sis..
almost legal hehe...
anyways all the best in whatever you put your heart into ya
god bless =)
oh yea...
it would've also been dad's birthday too...
Happy Birthday Dad
still thinking of you always...
salute...
||:PreCiouS:||
9/14/2004 11:26:00 PM
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NOooOOooo!!!
I cant believe it! OmG!
Its finally over... no more... na dah.. the end...
sobsob...
FRIENDS final episode was aired two hours ago...
no more new developments...
no more joey lameness...
no more phobe craziness...
no more monica neato freak-o-ness...
no more chandler awkwardess...
no more rachel air head-o-ness...
no more ross unluckyness...
(okie i'm creating words as i go along here hehe...)
well at least they are showing re-runs of the earlier seasons... yay! =D
okie and i'm suddenly hooked on Alias hurhur.. after all the past seasons rite? sheesh azi =P
today's episode was the most stressfull one for me wahaha...
i was so scared for Sidney's friend hehe...
yes i know its just a show but i cannot help it lar, i feel for the characters tat i watch =P
Okie so, monday...
according to my earlier post i mentioned that i would be going to school rite?
well....
...
..
.
err...
hehe... i didnt go to school today
WAH!
hehe... i felt awkward myself =P
ended up at Pasir Ris Beach together with Tania, Ju, Peiming, & Darren hehe...
cause we had no classes at all today since tutorial was postponed due to the year 1's OP muahaha... so we had an unofficial day off...
Marcus and his darling Yolanda came later in the afternoon, then darren had to go off to school for the Law Alumin meeting if i'm not mistaken and Naddy and Melly came a lil later after i msged them to come... dissapointingly Kay couldnt make it...
(Kabby we'll have a destressing session one of these days yea cheer up kkiez =) )
Took loads of pics and here they are....
darling tania & moi =)
melly & naddy with moi in the backgrd =P
okie stop it! err stop wat ah? hehe cant remember =P
so the reached first, well someone needs to be down here to take the pics rite =)
can u believe this? this is my first time climbing up this thing! wohoo! =D
one eyed melly
sweetie naddy
me & melly
melly posing for the cam haha...
me err... stoning?? hehe..
last weekend's dinner outing =)
okie my cam digital memory was full before i could even take a grp pic and a pic of marcus and his darling haha.. nvm there will always be the next outing =P
i seriously think i need a new cam cause this digi cam i'm using is dying... so sad... haiz... so...*hinthint* birthday coming soon lalalala =P
okie more pics are uploaded on my album so...
click here!
oh yea while waiting for the rest to come back to go off, i was sitting alone at the breakwater to enjoy the wind and surprisingly i'm wasnt thinking as much i used to.. i feel lighter in a way.. like a huge load has been lifted off my back... a good sign i suppose?
well found out later in the evening tat contract's make up tutorial is later at 2pm argh! so last minute one, havent prepare the stuff for mindmap presentation.. suppose to make it interesting.. rite...
well might as well.. wednesday no class so i definitely dont want anything to do with make up tutorials touch my wednesday hehe... alto i'll still be in sch to finish up CDS ppt slides & contract proj haiz....
okie lah need to get back to sch work now...
time check 1:36am
hopefully can hit the sack by 2:30am tops...
well till then...
salute =)
||:PreCiouS:||
9/14/2004 01:27:00 AM
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Sunday, September 12, 2004
President's Star Charity
Caught the whole thing just now... and i must say this yr it was quite boring... i know it was hard work and stuff, the celebrities working their butts off and stuff.. but then... there's the lacking of creativity.. its the same ol thing every year...
the only highlight for me was having Khairuddin Sharom (aka Khai) as the host.. wahahaha...
yupyup my role model... the hard work he went thru as a student and the achievements he got for his hardwork, someone i really look up to...
anyways beside him, there were the kids =)
they are so cute... now those kids put people i know to shame.. despite their diability and hardship they take in their stride, persevere and live their lives as they deem fit, with their inner strength, their smiles are as pure as oxygen...
some of them reminds me of the kids i worked with at the VSA camp... funnily enough i kinda miss natasha haha.. with her persistant ways and keeping me awake almost the whole night at camp hehe... really hope this year's VSA camp doesnt clash with this year's new academic semester, then that will really suck...
well this year's PSC ended with Sun Ho singing the official PSC song together with some of the kids... err honestly gotta say that the kids sounded better then Sun Ho... I'm serious! =P
and i wonder how she actually managed to enter the british and american dance charts... i have a heavy suspicion that it was the amazing job of the sound mixers wahaha...
well its official.. my most BORING weekend ever.. didnt even step out of the house... broke and no plans at all... haiz... i'm seeing signs of rotting haha...
thank god tomorrows coming soon... school here i come!
haha.. cant believe i actually i said that =P but then school is somehow a haven away from home... sigh...
okie cant think of anything else to blog...
till then...
salute =)
||:PreCiouS:||
9/12/2004 10:55:00 PM
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haiz.. a bad start to a Sunday...
brilliant me accidentally broke a music CD into 2 argh!!! and its not even mine...
which means this coming week's pocket money has to be used to replace it...
and now i realise i need to buy a lot of stuff,,,
lemme make a list...
1)Floor cleaning solution and dettol
2)a new broom, dustpan and mop (This is all for "my" room)
3)those board thingys so i can put notices on my bedroom wall so i dont forget stuff
4)those cardboard boxes to put all my school stuff tat i dont intend to throw and tat needs to be put aside
5)mounting tape
6)pencils
7)hard contact lens solution, cleanser and disinfectant solution
8)toothbrush (in case you're wondering i change toothbrush every 1-2mnths or so =P)
9)my sis's birthday present
10) oh yea the CD i accidentally broke
11)time to get new socks too
12)stock up on night snacks
man i cant afford all of this... estimated amount tat i need would be $70 and my pocket money is like half of that and this amount doesnt include my daily meals!!! I need to work something out here.... dumdidumdidum.... i guess i have to work this out somehow...
anyways next sunday the fund raising peeps are gonna bake at my house since my place has a larger oven then zaid's hehe... gonna bake cookies!
all proceeds will go towards the proposed camp twinkle(aka camp sunshine)...
stilll keeping my fingers crossed tat the camp will go thru, but still gotta look at the other side of it, the side that it may not go thru... but have no fear, we have an alternative plan! hehe... hey afterall what's important is that we wanna do it for the children =)
anyone wanna help bake cookies? you're invited to come down and help, just let me know ya hehe...
********
okie how do you define success?
i'm sure each individual has their own definitions....
Some define success as having the 5Cs, others when the PM calls you up personally to congratulate you on your whatever achievements, some when you actually get to shake hands with the most famous people on earth...
my definition of success is when i graduate from university and be able to support my familiy financially and be on my own independently. That is when i'll know i've made it. Who cares if you're famous or a top person in anything when your familiy need you more then anything else...
i think therefore i am
sounds familiar?
it should
you are who you think you wanna become. no one can make you be who you dont wanna be. Its all up to you. To become your own boss. To become a succesful lawyer, businessman, stock broker, doctor, banker, well basically anything... you can... you have the power to choose and work hard at it... its all up to you, its all in the mind... anything's possible if you just believe.
Dont be discourage by failure cause its not meant to discourage you. Mistakes are made everyday, minor ones even crucial ones but hey shite happens. But you learn from it and do better. Look at Thomas Edison, he didnt invent the light bulb within a day. He failed a few hundred time and even had folks telling him tat he was crazy. But he didnt give up and persevered and in the end had the last laugh when he finally created the light bulb.
He was quoted saying "Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration"
Failing never equals to a failure. A failure is when you start blaming others. An important key of a succesful person is ownership.
Its okay to try and fail and try and fail again, but, it is not okay to try and fail and fail to try again
geddit? hehe...
I learnt that there is 8 keys that a person should have to excel...
1)Interity
2)Commitment
3)Flexibility
4)Balance
5)Ownership
6)Failure Leads to success
7)Speak with good good purpose
8)"This Is It" mindset
The first four is self explanatory, if you dont know what it stands for you should go shoot yourself haha...
the next two i guess i've mentioned it before... Then the next two...
Speak with Good Purpose
simply put, if you've got nothing good to say then just keep your mouth shut. What good will come out when you bring people down with your words. It may seem nothing to some of you but words mean alot.
You know the saying that goes "stick and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt us" sound familiar? it should. Well its all bullshit.
Sure the person may not look that he was hurt but end of the day when no one's looking it acutally hurts... well if your mind you're thinking, "nah this girl is talking rubbish" and you're one of those ppl who works doubly hard to prove that what was being said was wrong etc well think again buster... you're actuallly hurt but you're just denying it and either channeling that hurt into anger or work. hah
So if you dont have construtive feedback to give, i suggest you keep quiet for your own good....
"This is It" mindset
well having this mindset helps alot cause it will help you do the things that you'll procrastinate to do. Cause realitically opportunity doesnt strike twice unless you're that lucky and so this is it, its now or never. Its about doing it or not and later regreting it.
Combine this and the power of positive thinking, pwhoar! it a damn powerful combination.
okie who thinks that they will never see me absailing down a building and hanging off the edge of a ledge three stories high??
i bet no one haha...
but hey i did it! muahaha...
the power of a positive mindset ;)
just gotta believe!
and love makes the world go round trlalala
dadumdumdidumdum tralalala
opps haha... digressing
hmm...
so yea just believe in yourself and anything's possible...
okie i think this entry is long enuff and i dont wanna bore ppl to death with my reflections on things hehe...
till nxt entry
salute =)
||:PreCiouS:||
9/12/2004 01:30:00 PM
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Saturday, September 11, 2004
In Memory...
Dedicated to those who lost their lives in the 9/11 and all other terrorist attacks....
to families who lost their loved ones...
senseless acts of violence leading to change perceptions of the innocent who are condemmed by people who are scared...
also to these people who suffer because of the prejudice that they face because of the faith they believe in, please stay strong and have faith that better days will come...
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
9/11/2004 11:12:00 PM
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I've been sneezing non stop ever since i was half way thru cleaning "my" room, haiz.. now my eyes are in pain, well lets just say my whole face.. i'm starting to think dust and me dont agree with each other... *sigh*
Anyways yesterday went for dinner with tania, ds, mei, kiat, alvin, ju and peiming at bedok, i ate the mee soto at Inspirasi, the best stall there to me haha.. kinda brought back memories of back in ITE when after school haikal wld sometimes drive me and wan, or sometimes with aznor and ronnie there just to eat the mee soto haha... for those of you who hasnt tried it before should go and try it for yourself, its damn good oh and beware of the chilli haha.. its damn hot, i almost cried well i was tearing haha =P
After dinner all of us walked aimlessly at bedok central and came across this racial harmony exhibition near the NTUC.. kinda interesting i might say, it shows you the malays, indians and chinese different festivals, ways marriages are conducted and what happens when each child is born into the family.
Tania then suggested to go to Giant... reason why i'm not sure but according to her just to look around haha.. so off we went to Giant... went to look at the different kind of products there were a Giant, basically we went ard the 2nd floor like more then twice i reckon haha... by the time we got out my legs were aching... =P hehe...
whole day today was at home doing what i have no idea... bored to death... kinda had a tv show marathon from cartoons to she spies to the sentinal to mission impossible... haiz.. then decided to clear "my" room since i was so free...
still contemplating of finding a job but still havent got around to looking for one...
argh i'm so damn hungry now.. havent eaten the whole day can u believe it? =P
okay shld go look for food now =)
cheers
||:PreCiouS:||
9/11/2004 09:58:00 PM
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Thursday, September 09, 2004
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble
Well... i saw HIM yesterday... yes him... well if you're wondering who's the him, its the same guy back in my secondary school days who brought up the different stream issue... haiz... he looks the same when i saw him last.. hmmz...
oh and in case you're wondering...
no i did not approach him =P (wonder if he still remembers me...)
well the president's star charity is coming back....
(okie i have to digress here for awhile.. there's this bugger who is messaging me online the most dumbest questions i have ever came across in my life!! argh! actualy he's not the only one cause there are more dumb guys out there!! but hello intelligent question pls haiz... i feel like shooting him right now.. err wait under firearms act cannot... must think of a better way =P argh nvm...)
sorry for the digression, yes anyways...
the president's star charity is back, and sure they raised funds up to like $5 mil(?) last yr and sure they can try to reach that target again and ppl will call for the celebrities and all that or if they really do are kind hearted will donate.
Sure fine go ahead, all in the name of charity.
But then stop and think for a moment. Take a look around you.
Do the people who really need help actually getting the help they need? Are Singaporeans really that generous to donate all that money??? Or are they just donating just for the hell of it?? or for e.g in the NKF charity show, are they just donating to get a chance in winning the top prize of every hour???
Take one senario for e.g... a charity organization flag day. You'll see it almost every weekend, students and volunteers doing their part helping the charities by going ard the island with the tins provided, seeking commuters help in donating at the very least 10 cents...
then you hear stories abt how the ugliness of singaporeans come out... ppl running away from the the volunteers... giving them the cold shoulder... and in one extremely rude scenario this guy told a volunteer to go get a life.... ???!?!?!?!?!? omg goodness...
the common sight that you see ard the housing estates, old people working hard to earn a living, collecting cardboard boxes, newspapers, digging up rubbish bins for used cans, whatever they can sell to just get food on the table... what abt them? The old folks living on their own... do ppl ever stop to think abt them, to give out a helping hand i.e when they fall sick?
What abt those ppl busking at the side of the street? The blind man who sits beside Tampines MRT station, ever dropped a coin into his box? or if you're a regular in town, the blind man who plays his electronic keyboard and sing for the daily commuters at the underpass, ever dropped a coin into his box or said thank you for brigtening up the underpass with his songs? Or the handicap people who tries to earn a living by selling tissue at the walkway near the interchange or mrt station... ever stopped to help them and buy just 3 packets for $1??
Or do u just walk on by? Do you just walk on by because you are too busy with your own lives to worry about someone else when all it takes is just to drop just a few coins for those who need it more then you.... But then its so damn easy to pick up the phone to call cause it is so damn convenient... but then the only thing is... you dont see where the money goes to... whether or not it would actually benefit the ppl you see on tv directly...
tell me, wat good comes from donating when you dont take time to help out these people out personally. Money isnt everything. Money cant buy everything. Yes money is a necessity in this day and age.... but... it cant buy back a parent's love, it cant buy happiness, it cant buy joy, it cant buy a person's gratitude, it cant buy back a person's use of bodily functions... sometimes its the little things that counts...
A person in need, need not be found in an organisation, need not be part of an organisation... the person may be sitting right next to you without you knowing it...
A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog,when you are just as hungry as the dog
So to those ppl who keep saying that they dont have time to do charity etcetc... well actually you do... may not be the kind of charity you have in mind but it still is charity, the only difference is only whether you want to or not...
salute =)
||:PreCiouS:||
9/09/2004 09:51:00 PM
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Wednesday, September 08, 2004
I'm Bored
Honest to god I'm bored. Yes i know i have loads of sch assignments, projects and studying to do... call me crazy but i'm bored shitless now that i'm not in anything. I need to do something!
Someone suggested: go join a cca...
err sure but wat? let me list the ccas in sch...
Visual Central - i was in visual central its one of those photography society club thingys but the committee there is apparently sexist cause i was conveniently not informed of previous committee mtg and now the committee are made up of all males.. so yea i'm not gonna join tat
DramaTechy - well i dont think i'm good enough to be an actor so why embarass myself rite =P
MAG - well... lets just say it doesnt appeal to me cause i know nuts abt the malay arts let alone understand v.chim malay...
Toastmasters - err... not my cup of tea i guess... talking infront of a bunch of peeps i dont know and have no real purpose on talking in the first place? err thanks but i'll pass...
Pacemasters - well heard they were professional ushers hurhur... but first time i heard the name kinda sounds like a heart beat counting grp wahaha...
Community Service Club - okie this club is interesting cause i like helping ppl and stuff... but since sec sch i never liked the idea of it cause it sounds to me like ppl who cant decide where to go just go join this club...
Band - is it too late to pick up an instrument? hehe but i still prefer the piano tho
MusicVox - err.. no thanks...
Production crew - now tats interesting.... hmm... what excuse can i find for this? =P
okie we can just skip all the sport clubs cause i cant play sports competitively, not tat i dont want to but i cant haiz...
well seems like i have an excuse for every single thing...
gosh...
well at least i still have voices...
but then...
in a way i guess i prefer to be in something that i know i can help with, that i can help make a difference... i prefer to be in something small that i know will make a difference for a small grp of ppl then being in something big and will only affect ppl like being bitten by an ant...
this still doesnt solve my problem!!!
i miss the ol sem... even tho how bz i may be but i was doing something... i had a purpose haiz.... doing nothing but only sch work is driving me nuts....
i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something i need to do something.........
which btw i think i need to get a J O B. yes a job. i need to start supporting myself. Wonder wat job i shld get.... thst's one thing to consider, and also how to juggle my time and how i wont let it affect my sch work etcetc... and i know its advisable to not have a job while still in school but something needs to be done and i cant always rely on my mum who has a lot of things on her hands as it is...
any suggestions anyone? hmm pointless for me to ask when i know i wont get any response.... hmmz...
well we'll just see how things go...
and did i mention i was bored???
oh yea i did...
i think i must be crazy....
to be bored at a time like this...
exams is in like 3 wks!
four subjects to cram for...
azi you better get started on revision!
oh yea i need HELP for crim pro, i'm lost...
anyone can tutor me for balance day adjustment?? i think i'm lost there too...
hmmz...
knowing me i'll work it out =P unless anyone wld be so kind hearted as to help me with the above mentioned subjects =P
okie i should be off to dreamland now got a grp mtg to go to tmr hehe =P
salute =)
Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin
'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind...
||:PreCiouS:||
9/08/2004 01:21:00 AM
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Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Irritated
I've never been so agitated before in my life, well aside from the staff there, there's this other group who is irritating the hell outta me. I dont hold grudges, i dont hate people cause that's too strong, i dont dislike ppl without a reason.. i'm honest to god a nice person but.... i have my limits too you know grr...
at least i do take risk and believe in what i do. I dont appreciate ppl saying one thing in front of me and saying another behind my back. Dont think i dont know. I'm not oblivious or stupid as some of you think i am. Dammit. I'm just fed up of the situation. Maybe there's a reason why everything is like this. I've always believed that things happen for a reason and i'm still waiting for the reason for this.
What i can do now is be patient and just take the blows i get one at a time. But i cant help feeling angry at myself, cause sometimes i think i could have done something or do more of what i'm doing now, maybe its all my fault.. maybe.. argh... shite...
What is the damn world coming too? I so wish i'm back in ITE where such things dont exist. Everyone goes on with their damn lives, do what they wanna do and not go for each other throats and step on each other may they be friends or not to get a nice bunch of words on their resume.
To be selfish cause you are afraid to go thru the basic protocol??? Actions we do affect people. I dont understand how people can forget that. I also dont get people who are damn full of themselves and they think that the whole damn world revolves around them.
Oh and the cutesy stuff i.e going on and on abt flowers etcetc and all that shite, pls save it for ur significant other or ur other cutsey friends cause its damn irritating to see an almost young adult doing that.
Oh yea and peeps who call themselves group members and dont turn up for meetings AT ALL should go shoot themselves. Irritating Idiots. Who do you think i am? Your damn slave? Like i have no other assignments to do.
Since i'm on a roll let me continue and get everything out of the system...
To those irritating impatient bus passengers who are so damn impatient of getting on the bus should be thrown into a remand facility and learn good manners so they'll stop shoving people who wants to take the bus too who are actually queuing for the same damn bus!!!
Oh yea with regards to those people who think highly of themselves and think that the only CAPABLE ones are those who are with you then *&$# #*$ bl0ody shite... i'm so damn pissed
i know i shouldnt but i am argh dammit....
just admit it there are things that you are afraid of doing or can never be able to do so please stop with the high and mighty attitude.
azi get a grip!!! breathe!!
oh yea one other thing... are ghost reading my blog?? cause my counter is moving but not the comments box nor the tagboard.. haiz whatever... but really thx to those who took their time to actually comment... really appreciate it =)
arrghh........
feel like banging myself at the nearest wall now.
Cant believe i'm this irritated and agitated....
i think i need some fresh air.........................
||:PreCiouS:||
9/07/2004 06:29:00 PM
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Monday, September 06, 2004
Sweetness
That's the first word that came to mind. Haha.. picked it up from one of the freshies =P Anyways finally Opinion writing and Events Management Final Report is over and done with! like the title suggests, sweetness! haha... Didnt sleep at all last night caused i stayed up polishing up my legal opinion letter, helping peeps edit their letter and also compiling, editing and adding in contents to my events report.
Haiz, madness siah. I'm beginning to think i've chosen the wrong CDS this sem cause i havent learnt one bit of anything new and being dumped on everything for the project and having 3 members totally MIA its not something i'll shout for joy about.
was thinking of blogging down something else but i think i'll leave it to another post. Hiaz my eyes really damn tired... i need SLEEP!!!
||:PreCiouS:||
9/06/2004 04:52:00 PM
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Friday, September 03, 2004
Choices
Its times like these, more often then not, i question my choices. Did i make the right choice? Were my choices good or bad? Is the circumstances today because of the choices i made.... sometimes i question whether i had made the right decision even tho i feel damn guilty about it cause something didnt go as expected because of changes that is present around us.
Do i have the ability to predict the future once i've made the decision? no i dont. So i shouldnt beat myself up about unexpected things that happen should i? but i donno. Am i just too soft hearted to feel this way?
Risks are taken everyday, may the outcome be good or bad but it is constantly present in this life we live in... is it wrong to have second thoughts? Even tho u know you've made the right choice, but you're feeling this way cause of how it has affected others...
Being selfish perhaps? But then my choice was supported, it says something doesnt it?
When you are given two choices and both are not ideals, a forced choice has to be made... But then being afraid of what both outcomes might be like, caught in a forked road, where to turn? left or right? Is this another risk to be taken to? To go by gut instinct or rational thinking?
I'm at a lost right now. I really am. But i dont know what to do... i dont wanna let my emotions/feelings get the best of me, i need to be clear minded and have both eyes wide open.... I need help but its too complicated to turn to anyone cause i doubt that anyone would understand... what in god's name am i suppose to do now?????
||:PreCiouS:||
9/03/2004 05:54:00 PM
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Thursday, September 02, 2004
A Soulful Relationship
An African proverb states, "Before you get
married, keep both eyes open, and after you
marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment
to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-
esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that
you can change someone or that what you see as
faults aren't really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over
time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves,
and differences will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship to
grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one
eye and not let every little thing bother you. You
and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses,
and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of God who
have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for
each other? Do you bring out the best in each
other? Do you compliment and compromise with
each other, or do you compete, compare, and
control? What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past
mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or
her. You can't make someone love you or make
someone stay. If you develop self-esteem,
spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find
yourself making someone else responsible for
your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Manipulation, con! trol, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,
healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking
status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong
reasons to be in a relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor,
sharing household tasks, some getaway time
without business or children and daily exchanges
(a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a
note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or
send a nice email.
Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is
important. Grow together, not away from each
other, giving each other space to grow without
feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside
interest. You can't always be together. Give each
other a sense of belonging and assurances of
commitment. Don't try to control one another.
Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or
her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material
goods. Remember for richer --or for poorer. If
these qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect,
dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is
where you put the i.
||:PreCiouS:||
9/02/2004 11:49:00 PM
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In or Out?
So my mum went to see the supervisor there recently... hmmz... and i wonder what they talked about me =P So.... am i gonna officially be out from there or.... hmmz... i really dont know...
You see i've been falling sick more often then not this semester therefore i've been at home and not there... and they have been pestering when am i coming back there and i have successfully been avoiding their calls hehe... evil i know =P
Currently i'm half hearted in both staying at home and staying there... If i do really decide to stay at home (which my mum thinks i'm gonna do) then i think its time i get a job cause i dont wanna burden my mum (right now i'm even afraid to ask her for other expenses so i'm using my pocket money to buy whatever i need which always leaves me broke by..er... thursday? hehe) then there's school fees to think about and etcetc....
well if i decided to stay there, then.. i'll have problems in doing my assignments/projects due to lack of resources and furthurmore with me always staying up late to do em', the staff there are silently complaining... then me coming back late etcetc...well truth of the matter is well they just dont trust residents apparently.. haiz...
so how? i'm in a dilemma... each has their own pros and cons...
what shld i do????
i dont have much time left...
i need to make a decision...
so what shld i do????
||:PreCiouS:||
9/02/2004 12:18:00 AM
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Shucks
Argh....
I'm just a sucker for happy endings....
*sigh*
Just finished watching con-air on channel 5, first time watching it after all these years can you believe it? haha...
anyways, remember my previous posting on peeps asking me who do i like and me saying i donno...
well...
what if someone enters your mind every waking hour...
(i donno if its a gd or bad thing but it gets tiring after some time u know =P)
so what does it mean?
Does it mean anything even??
I dont even know why it happens in the place...
Haiz...
is there some magic solution to stop this?
i can only wish...
oh yea...
btw...
wishing all Teachers...
PY TEACHER'S DAY!!!
oh and...
Sin Ping... not sure you'd be reading this and technically i know its wednesday already but still...
pIe BirThdAy! =)
god bless!
salute
||:PreCiouS:||
9/01/2004 12:02:00 AM
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