Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Guilt

I suddenly feel like i need to blog about this
No matter how many times i try to let it pass
it still eats me within
the guilt that i'm carrying...
sigh...

yesterday was the interview assessment feedback lecture
headed by the duchess herself lpb
and there was a re-enactment of one of the best grp

okie no probs with any of that...
but i got depressed...
guilt swamped me from every angle...

why?

cause my team didnt do as good as we did before

and i blame myself...

all of em' relied on me
i was good at this
it was my forte
but i screwed up
messed up
i let them down...

i was drowning during the interview
struggling
why was nobody else speaking?
i should be able to fill the awkward silence
and i did but it was not good enough...
did i talk too much that the others was to afraid to cut in?

probably it was my fault also for not sleeping early
my mind wasnt sharp enough
questions that i should have pick up from the client
i let it pass
how could i???
what did our team get from the client?
nothing
just figures...
for what???

dammit
i cant seem to forgive myself
20% asssement marks down the drain

to my team
i'm so so sorry i failed you

||:PreCiouS:||
9/22/2004 08:53:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.