Friday, September 24, 2004

These few days i've been feeling like shite..
honest to god i need to get away...
ppl around me arent helping at all
even ppl i call friends...
i think i need to take a breather....
i need to stop to think and reflect...
maybe i'll drop by the reservoir tomorrow...
alone...
as usual...

somehow now more then ever i feel lke going for a run
hmm...
maybe that's why i run so much in my dreams...
sheesh gerl...
i have this excess energy i need to burn...
but my heart wont allow me to run...
arrgh....

i wish somehow i will be caught in the middle of a downpour
and i'll just sit down in the middle of nowhere and let it rain on me
maybe it'll wash away my problems too.. haiz...
i so dont need this right now...

sure i'll smile and i'll laugh
but can you see the hurt inside?
sure you wont cause you're not me...
i dont know.. somehow i feel like i'm at a blocked road...
i've been struggling so much that i'm at the verge of drowning
and i can see faces above me just looking...
looking and staring and letting me drown...
and in their minds they are saying
"let her drown"
"she deserves it"

voices
shadows
nightmares
reality
so which is which?
everything is so infused...

surrounded by people
idle chatter
but cant help but feel alone
all alone
when things arent like it seems to be
caught in between two things
whatever it may be....

i cant continue doing this...
but what choice do i have?

******************
to my taggers thanks for your encouragement, reason why i lurve you guys =)
oh yea matsie i reckon why me and lily may sound alike cause probably we were from the same ITE? haha.. i donno =P
oh and latha no need to kick anyone, might as well kick me instead haha.. maybe that's what i need a good kicking =P
anyways i dont wanna be held responsible for other peep's injuries...
oooh and naz i have to agree with you, i like iz's version better cause he sang from his heart tats why =)

||:PreCiouS:||
9/24/2004 01:23:00 AM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.