Monday, November 01, 2004

i was reading my previous entry and something came to mind.. i was wondering if some peeps may be wondering if i was refering it to anyone in particular, perhaps to a certain individual...

well i have dissapoint those peeps cause the answer is no. Its not written to any particular individual, perhaps to someone in the future when that time comes... but for now its just words...

To me all this liking business is getting old. True i used to like someone but it feels so much like ancient history right now. But then what is like? To like someone? Its different from love is it not, can it be clearly classified as infatuation? If so how can someone get infatuated with another individual? By their looks? personality? or deeper then that? Is liking somebody even a waste of time? or is it a foundation of eventually falling in love with that someone?

I used to think that when i fall for a certain someone its more than the physical attributes. To me i can see something in that person that other people cant, that i'm am able to understand that person. And like i said before, when i fall for a person, i fall hard. I dont go liking a few other peeps at the same time. Its always one person. Call me faithful but thats how i am haha... foolish? maybe, maybe not.
But then i began to see how it has been affecting me. How i allow these individuals to invade my thoughts. I began to see how they can hurt me without them even realising it. I guess i'm beginning to grow up. That all this is just something we young people go through....

So now somehow or rather i can never see myself with someone at this particular stage of my life. To me it doesnt matter if i dont have someone special in my life right now cause i know i will in the future, but when? i dont know. I'll leave that up to fate...

I now look at tv shows, movies, read a book, whatever you may deem as reel and not reality and whenever it has a happy ending or the character is lucky in love, i now tend to roll my eyes and keep telling myself it is all not real and will never happen in real life. That's how i view love right now. Something that is not entirely real. Well at this stage of my life that is.

Funny how somehow or rather i felt i needed to blog about this. That i wanted people to know that i'm not carrying a torch for anyone neither am i concerned about this relationship thingy that is absent in my life. Somehow my heart feels lighter, to not have someone to think about, to know that whatever comes, comes.. leaving everything to a thing called fate.

salute

||:PreCiouS:||
11/01/2004 01:36:00 AM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.