Saturday, January 22, 2005

When i was 16 i had dreams. I had places i wanna go, places where i wanna be. I was so sure what i wanna be when i grow up. But then somehow life had other plans for me. I ended up in places where i never dreamed i would end up in. I went through things that i never could have possibly imagined. I couldnt get into places where i wanna go cause i wasnt good enough.

Now at 20 i'm feeling a lil lost. My path is forked and there will come a time when i have to decide. Sure i have dreams. Dreams that sometimes make me laugh at myself because of the impossiblity of it.

I envy those peeps who have it easy. I admit it. To know that whatever lies in the future, they are safe in the security of their family. To have no pressing responsiblities. To have something to fall back on.

me? i dont even have a safety net. When i fall, its freefall.

It saddens me when i look around me sometimes. Young people with loads of potential, wasting their life away, thinking that they are too young to think of the future.
To be lucky enough to be accepted to study a course which has loads of people with hopes of getting in and only a few making the cut, and then letting this opportunity go to waste cause they cant be bothered to give a damn, as long as they graduate and get a freakin diploma, they couldnt care less.

At 18 they think they are too young to care, at 20 i'm panicking that i dont have enough time haha...
perhaps its just me expecting too much from people.
believing in people who dont deserve it...

or perhaps its just me who deep down knows i dont really have much time and i'm just on borrowed time, perhaps on a time bomb waiting to explode? perhaps *Shrugs*

I guess it comes down to choices. What you want to do with your life.

For me i'm still gathering my options and only when i think it is sufficient i shall make my choices.

and i do pray that these people who are wasting their time away, finds it all worth it and if not, quickly come to their senses. Afterall we only live once.

salute

||:PreCiouS:||
1/22/2005 01:54:00 AM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.