Saturday, February 12, 2005

mum's at it again and like always she angry at my bro and now the whole household... everytime she's like this i get even more stressed and i'm coughing twice as hard and its very hard to stop. And when this happens i'm afraid something bad might happen... i think of the worse senario sometimes, and everything has got to do with the heart...

and at this moment i feel like going out of the house and the only problem with that is its already late in the night...

i guess i blame myself for her being so unhappy, cause afterall i'm the eldest... and the thing is i dont know what i should do...

her never ending threats, the cold shoulder she sometimes gives.... i know she cares but i think she misses dad.... i think she's too tired and had enough of our family antics...

i'm just at a loss of what to do...
and all i think of now is to blast my mp3 loud enough to drown out her voice...

i'm a bad daughter....
sigh...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

was sitting in the train this evening thinking about things as usual. Then i asked myself this...
do i need saving?
Do i need someone to save me from this life of mine?

then i began convincing myself that maybe i dont cause i'm simply not worth saving.
I'm not worth saving because i'll do more harm than good...
I'm not worth saving because i'll only bring sadness and hardship for that person.
I'm simply not worth saving because my life is too complicated and i do not want anyone to be dragged down by it....

perhaps thats why i've remained single all my life haha...

i'm simply not worth it...

so there....

and to nad,
those are simply the reasons why you'll never see "love blossming" anytime soon...

salute

||:PreCiouS:||
2/12/2005 11:24:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.