Thursday, February 03, 2005

professionalism
n : the expertness characteristic of a professional person

This word has been running through my head the whole evening. One thing that struck me is, whether i have it?
Do i have professionalism or do i let my emotions cloud my judgement and actions?

Can professionalism be furthur clarified?

Where do you draw the line on taking taking things personally and being professional?

I donno sometimes i feel like i'm not as neutral as i like to think....
is being honest unprofessional? Is it so wrong showing people your true emotions?

i guess it actually depends on what the actual situation is and stuff but then there is an overlap here somewhere. How do you deal with emotions that other people are not allowed to see?

i suppose things like this cant be learnt in a day.
i believe that i'm still learning but sometimes as i stop and reflect i cant help feeling stupid or guilty for acting the way i had.
At least i do realise this and try to change, but this too take time.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

havent been feeling good this past few days, my sore throat has not gone away and i've been coughing like crazy... hmm i think my infection is back but i'm too stubborn to go to the doctor.
Looking forward to the CNY break, will try to get some rest then.

I think i've been bottling up alot of things and i hate feeling like crying and trying to compose myself so that people wont see. Hiaz and i'm almost failing. Whenever people ask what's wrong i'll just throw any feasible reason that i can think of on the spot, if it is the truth is another story altogether cause the truth is i dont know.
and the thing is i refuse to feel this way. Sometimes i get tired of putting a neutral face everytime i'm in pain and sometimes i tend to feel guilty of making people do things that i feel is taking their time. well that's just me i guess...
and now i'm wondering why in the world am i talking about this, its not like i'm going anywhere with this... bah...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

one thing i dont get is these people who tries to take advantage of my mum.

They know she's a single parent having to take care of six of us and still they do it. I just dont understand people sometimes. We are living on prayers and a minimal sum of money. My mum is working damn hard to support us and what do these people do? Try to trick my mum to give them money or take advantage of her generosity by expecting her to fork out the bill when my mum and them are out or borrowing/asking for an advance and not paying back.

what is freaking wrong with these people? We are scraping through as it is.
Especially this particular friend of my mum, she'll just try about anything to not pay for anything or borrow money, and the thing is she has a husband and a car. What i really cant believe is that she can even get her husband to talk to my mum to borrow money. wtf??
same goes to this particular aunt and uncle on my late father's side.
I'm just so angry at them. I feel like giving a piece of my mind but then i wouldnt want to be disrespectful would i since they are my elder.

well what goes around comes around
so good luck to them
and i dont mean that in a good way
bah

||:PreCiouS:||
2/03/2005 11:30:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.