Friday, March 11, 2005

i guess i've been blogging a lot lately
especially of what i feel...
to me somehow it helps but i'm beginning to get what people are always saying to me,
i think too much...
perhaps its time i dont take things too seriously
and perhaps not take life too seriously...
live for the moment ya know..

i can try but i know it wont happen overnight, cause somehow i am who i am, i grew up and became me because of circumstances...
i understand how life works now even tho i sometimes refuse to see it when i let my emotions get the best of me. Everyone is entitled to indulge in self-pity once in awhile right? haha...

somehow loud fast foreign language music(no i do not mean techno or house music, more like jpop i suppose) is what keeps me going nowadays
which is good at least
acts as a salve for the time being i suppose

my current msn nick:goes along the lines of "Everybody seems to be getting what they need so where's mine?"
i didnt expect anyone to answer it but a friend did.
He said its standing right in front of me.
and i asked what is it that is standing in front of me?
and he replied that i have to open my eyes and see...
but what if i've opened my eyes and there's nothing there?
and he replied that then i havent really opened my eyes...

somehow that convo stuck with me...
is my eyes still close that i dont see anything infront of me?
is what i need really standing infront of me and that i'm just refusing to see it?
questions, questions and more questions
i suppose i'll know it when i see it....
but for now its something i still need to figure out for myself...

aite should try and sleep early today so i'll be able to wake up for the NE talk tomorrow morning...
and i should be getting back to watching survivor hehz...

saltue

||:PreCiouS:||
3/11/2005 08:43:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.