Sunday, May 08, 2005

i hate to admit this but....

i think i'm suffering from JET LAG!!!

helpp?

so way not good.. i'm sleeping according to london's time
sure i do get my 8 hours of sleep but its at the wrong time! argh!

it doesnt help matters that i'm missing london eeks!
i miss the weather especially.. .now i know why foreigners keeps complaining that singapore is hot.

speaking of which i havent done the assignment that we're suppose to email to miss lim by tomorrow... and.. 16 more days to our deadline for the submission of our project article...
i'm still waiting for the required photos from minghao and added to the fact that i have no idea where to start... wow i should say i'm off to a good start...
hmm rite...

called up work today. There giving me a few days rest before starting work. I know they are short handed there and stuff.. but i'm thankful for the rest cause i need to get over this jet lag thingy.. i cant keep waking up at 4pm singapore time everyday rite? haha...

aite i gotta confess, after the trip i feel like studying in the UK... but....
yes there is always the BUT
even if i do get a scholarship to study there it wouldnt help much..
with tuition fees, living expenses etcetc... where am i gonna get enough money for 3 years of studies there?
unless i work first... which has its pros and cons...
and there's another thing.. what am i gonna study there?
am i still gonna persue law? or am i gonna take another path?
questions and more questions
i have gotta get this sorted out.. hmm....

As you all might realise i was the only malay on the trip
its funny how some people convert their conversations to mandarin hoping that i would not understand..
wahahaha.... rite...
little do they know that i do understand a lil bit of mandarin... tsktsk
well it doesnt only happen here
it happens elsewhere too...
lets be honest here
it's also vice versa
this always happens when there is a majority of the same ethnic people in a certain group
lets say there's a majority of malay people.. they will tend to speak malay to each other..
same with the chinese, more mandarin speaking people, there's the tendancy to speak in mandarin...
*shrugs*
so no big deal, altho i wish everyone will just stick to english...
anyways....

this topic came up on the third night of the trip.
a person saying "I want to die by the age of 40"
imagine a 17 year old saying that....
ok honestly i was shocked
a perfectly healthy person with their lives ahead of them planning to die by a certain age
heck i dont even have a luxury doing that
knowing what i have, i'll be lucky to even hit 40...
i think i should not go on with this topic cause it will only make me feel depressed bleah...

Mother's day today
here i am again feeling like the world worst daughter
almost 6 months back at home and i dont think i'm helping out much on the situation at home...
i feel like everything that i do is inadequate and that there is so much more that i should be doing, to help lighten the burden on my mum's shoulders....

but somehow more then ever i wanna try living on my own, to make something out of myself, to prove to some people that i'm not as worthless as they think i am...
to start over
to do something new
to be somewhere else
to strike it on my own...

i suppose i'm too independent for my own good huh...
there you go, a true blue saggitarian for you =)

||:PreCiouS:||
5/08/2005 04:38:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.