Friday, May 13, 2005

today i was reminded that i should be doing things for myself and not for an audience.
i suppose i've been too caught up with what people think that i forgot, that i'm living this life for me and not others.

like my blog for instance.
I blog mainly for me, myself and I. Be it what i think or what i feel. And i'm constantly amazed that people actually visit this blog of mine and read my posts! Heck somebody even got into my blog thru the street directory, which i had no idea was possible.
Most appreciated tho. Never in a million years would i think that people would actually want to read what i post. =)

anyways i think i had enough of the 'love' topic
eeks!
cause i believe that it is a chapter in my life that will happen very very much later
give it a decade or so
haha

i think i've been bitten by the travel bug!
i suppose the study trip has rekindled my yearning to travel...
at the moment i feel like seeing the world (well actually i've always wanted to travel)
jet set to all the interesting places the world has to offer
not care about anything else
especially what souveniers to buy for people
cause that is always a headache...
well a travel partner wont hurt
as long the person is not the kind who wants to rush everything
especially not the Kiasee type tsktsk then it wont be fun =P

but what stopping me is firstly my responsiblities as a daughter/student/employee....
secondly is... cash flow!!!!! yikes!!
maybe wait for another century or so, then i'll probably have enough money to travel...
hmm...
unless some romantic bighearted guy plans to sweep me off my feet or something and fly me off to all the wonderful destinations that awaits us.. sigh...
wahaha...rite... stop dreaming azi! =P

and...
somehow my project twinkle 2 is not going anywhere
my fault i suppose
for those of you who still have no idea what project twinkle is... (pls knock yourself on your head thanks ;P)
its actually my baby
hehe thats a way to put it =P
its my baby cause its something close to my heart. Making a difference for kids living in orphanages. Bring in some fun and joy into their lives.
Project Twinkle 1, was held in Sentosa in the beginning of this year, and it was absolutely fabulous, tho we had a lot to learn from it. and i'm glad it happened =)
(we still have unfinished business tho.. mx?)
now i'm thinking of project twinkle 2, but i've been told to consider passing the reins over to a junior or freshie cause i'll be a senior and will be extra busy especially with SIP around the corner...
Dilemma i have is.. who will have the committment and passion to actually take over cause i have not found the person yet... sigh...
i dont want project twinkle to be a one time thing...
new ideas have been brought up for PT2 but nothing concrete yet.. i suppose i need to get the foundation done up first before passing over...
or i could down scale and do something simpler... as long as our objectives are there.
Now is actually to form a committee who actually WANT to do this and not for the potential SEAL points they are gonna get....

oh and can we just crown Vonzell the next American Idol and get on with it?
cause i still dont get the fascination with Bo and Carrie is getting boring, her recent performance was a snoozer...

and i think i need Real time conversation.
these past few days its either been blogging or msning or smsing...
its been awhile since i've had a real conversation.
in case you're wondering
yes you're right
nobody calls me
i'm just too boring to talk to i suppose
or if i do get sympathy calls (which i dont need)
the person on the other side will just wish that the phone call will end
hmmz...

and it doesnt help i havent been out with anyone since i got back from the study trip
well except for the one evening with kabby, melly and naddy...

whoopiedoo
11 days away and people have already forgotten me
now i know where i stand
maybe i'm just paranoid
afterall everyone is SO busy
booyah =P
i'm a basket case bah humbug bleagh
i think everyone hates me *cries*

wahaha i'm kidding *smilez*

its not like its the end of the world
geez
if no one wants to talk to me fine
i can deal with that
i'll always have mr computer as company
and cable tv
and my vcds
and my new patricia cornwell novel
and i can always talk to myself
muahaha ;)
tralalallaala
*hums happy song*

hmm i so feel like gollum right about now
talking to myself again
eeks!

and i realise i've been bloggin alot lately...
hmm....
aaanndd its almost 3am!
i gotta get some shut eye!
gotta send my lil bro to the doc's tomorrow
he's having exam fever
i'm sure of it =P

aite then going to go read my novel
salute!

||:PreCiouS:||
5/13/2005 02:03:00 AM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.