Sunday, June 05, 2005

well i've been cooped up at home for the past two days
my back hurts something fierce
and i didnt turn up for work either
i've been very unproductive for the past 48hours, staring at the four walls of the house, the tv and computer screen and not forgetting snoozing off at the wrong hours.

I know i should know better
I shouldnt let my aches and pain get the best of me right? Cause heck there are other people out there in worse conditions then me. AND its my senior year and all, i need to study!! and read up on my project stuff and all...

Speaking of which, i realise i have some school stuff to buy and i'm running out of resources FAST. i have like 10 bucks to last me thru this coming few weeks, unless a miracle happen and my pay actually comes on time which i reckon wont be much.
I wonder why i work in the first place. We get paid so little and work so hard that my feet aches after every shift. Maybe its because of my flat feet and health conditions. But then that's no excuse is it? I have no idea why i'm complaining about work. Its just that at time i do enjoy work but there's the feeling of it weighing me down and plus i'm considering to resign cause somehow i'm not used to working and studying at the same time. But heck i need the income to get through my expenses cause i dont have the luxury of getting pocket money now.

Hell i shouldnt be complaining. My sis works twice as hard and get paid lesser, and i know she works hard and gets more tired then me but she doesnt complain. I should be ashamed. bleah.

We just received a letter from school regarding school fees and i looked at the things we have to pay for and its like 1/3 of the things listed there i have no idea why i'm paying for it. Take the student union fees for instant. We pay $20 each time and for what? For the TPSU to organise events we dont wish to participate in and waste our money? Geez that amount of money is more than what i get for my pocket money back in secondary school.

I think about all this and now more than ever i want to work harder and do my best and get the career that benefits me and my family. I'm sick and tired of feeling drained, passionless and penniless all the time.

Anyways i have been bloghopping and observing the different "writing" styles other bloggers have and i gotta say there a quite afew that are really good and it made me wonder how my "writing" style is like? Is it even any good that actually makes people come back to read my entires? Or do people actually read my blog just to get updated on what's going on with my life or even understand what kind of person i'm like, which i dont think would do you any good cause if you want to judge me just from my blog and not personally, then you're not getting the whole deal *winkz*

But then i shouldnt be bothered should i? Cause afterall my blog is for my personal reflections and thoughts, and not what i think people want to read, if thats the case then they should find another place for their enjoyment.

Well i supppose summer is already here. No matter how many showers i take in a day i'm still hot, and i tend to crave for cool gassy drinks. helpp!
This is one of the reasons why i'm considering moving overseas!! The weather!!! I know i should be used to it since i've been living here all my life, but hell i dont have the comfort of an airconditioner. My fan is on full blast and i'm still sweating.
ooh I do hope it rains soon!

okie answering my tags:

matsie - well naz got sacked, hiekal went somewhere, not sure when he'll be coming back, rohaidah is now with the ministry of home affairs, yes she resigned, you left, tania left, kay left... so its now just me, corrine, ab, mini(she's the indian girl), victor, oh and yan.... sigh...

soffie - thanks gerl! how have you been doing? well i suppose we got new tutors cause two are no longer with us. Ms Tan resigned to be with her children i suppose, and Mr LKY got posted to another dept cause apparently he got too good at teaching...

i heard this song some time back
i cant remember where but i suppose it brought back memories
loved the song back then and i think i'm still in love with it even now
the most romantic song ever *melts*
i dont know if any of you remember the song cause it was way way back, i suppose my 'generation' would remember it...
here are the lyrics....

From The Heart
-Another Level

I know you've heard these words a hundred other times before
And you've been hurt and so your heart has chose to close the door
Love broke your heart and brought you lies
Look in my eyes
You'll see a love that's deep and true
Tender and strong and all for you
You can trust this love
Honest, that's the honest truth

From the heart
I'm giving you everything, everything
From the heart
I promise you that I'll be there
I'll be there to love you
From the soul
I'm showing you all I feel, all I feel is
From the heart, from the heart

I will protect you and respect you and be all you need
And when you reach for love you'll only need to reach for me
These arms will never let you down
They're staying arounf
I'll walk with you through every storm
I'll keep you safe, I'll keep you warm
And you'll have no doubt
You're the one I'm living for

From the heart (from the heart baby)
I'm giving you everything (oh)everything (giving you everything)
From the heart (my heart)
I promise you that I'll be there (I'll be there for you)
I'll be there to love you
From the soul
I'm showing you all I feel, all I feel (I'm showing you)
All I feel (all I feel) is
From the heart, from the heart (from the heart)

I'll provide the love you need
Just trust my touch
Believe in me
I'll never make you cry
Givin' all I got with all I got inside

From the heart
I'm giving you everything, everything (giving you everything)
From the heart (from my heart)
I promise you that I'll be there (I'll be there to love you, love you, ooh)
I'll be there to love you (ohh)
From the soul (my soul)
I'm showing you all I feel (all I feel) all I feel (all I feel) is
From the heart (the heart) from the heart
Ooh, from the heart, from the heart...

||:PreCiouS:||
6/05/2005 08:39:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.