Sunday, July 03, 2005

i get too caught up in my life that i now feel that i am currently guilty of being a bad person. I let people know how i really feel without any second thoughts to how the people who are concerned will feel. I get too caught up with my life that i leave behind those people i do care about....

I feel so bloody guilty especially with the people around me.
How could i be so selfish? How could i only think for myself? How could i not consider how another person would feel?

Like how i was so angry with Akram when the ball he kicked accidentally knocked into me. I know its not his fault. I was more angry on the way he reacted but i was so caught up with my pain that i failed to see that he just didnt know how to. That's how some guys are....

Or how irritated i was when i couldnt get to watch batman and wasted my time waiting. Tania apologized for that when she didnt have to. I was the one who said it was okay that we didnt watch it that day cause i knew her eyes were hurting her.

Or when i missed voices practice cause i totally forgot about it as i had alot of things on my mind and thus causing mei to be pissed off...

Or reading or hearing from a friend that they felt unwanted, that they are lonely cause they think that nobody cares.

Or when you hear a friend saying that they do not know how to react with certain situations infront of you cause they do not know you that well...

Or when one of your closest friend has a new love of their life and you are the last one to find out...

I so feel like a failure right now...
I have failed my friends...

To all my friends i am so so sorry...
I'll try to be better.

||:PreCiouS:||
7/03/2005 10:51:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.