||:PreCiouS RefLecTionS:||



Wednesday, August 31, 2005

i swear i'm turning into a couch potato if i'm not already one that is...
well couch potato without the couch since there's none in existence in my house haha...


Study week and i'm not doing what is expected out of it
Studying...
yep as much as i've been trying to psych myself up to do some studying
i am failing miserably. ish.
i need to feel pressure. thats what i need oooweeeee
so i suppose i dont feel that pressure as of yet
geez i told you i was addicted to stress
or i would have started studying already
hmmm.. maybe thats why i never made it to the directors' list
or whatever it is..
but who cares.. i dont need to be in the directors' list to prove anything
=P


tho i will still try and pull my AGPA up if i want to get anywhere after poly hmmm...
maybe thats the thing...
i have no passion in this course.. maybe that's what's lacking...
hmmz...


anyways...
Candy's Birthday yesterday...
once again


HAPpIE BiRthDaY CaNdY!!!!!!!!!!


whhhhhheeeeeeeeeee..........


yesterday was awesome
took loads of photos (mine was the only camera which still had power tsk)
had our dinner at Fish & Co
and to the birthday gerl's horror (i think) we went ahead with the complimentary birthday rap! ehehe
gerl dont deny, you know you enjoyed it! *grinz*


okie by request
well more of default according to some ppl hmmz...
here are some of the photos... the rest would be uploaded as soon as my bro's computer is free for me to use ehehehe... *winkz*



KaraOke session @ PartyWorld


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DinneR! nyumyum


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opps got too carried away with the food... ooh i'm hungry...
anyways

Not Forgetting ThE BirThdaY GirL! =)


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aite then
i have a sudden craving for chocolate! and pizza... and ice cream...
bleah...
i need to exercise... i'm so not eating healthily... =P
hmmm gonna go find some food then...


till then...






if looks could melt the coldest of hearts...
yours should be made illegal...

||:PreCiouS:||
8/31/2005 11:41:00 PM
||||


Monday, August 29, 2005

I dont know if i'm just too hard on myself
or i actually deserve it...


I think i'm a coward
thats my conclusion after what happened today
and i'm a very useless sister..
i cant even take care of my own siblings
much less keep them in order...


sure ppl might say kids shall be kids
but if you knew the mischief they get themselves into....
today was the worse...
and when i should have come out and defend/scold them or something
i didnt want anything to do with it
i rather let them learn their mistakes on their own
even if it meant being scolded by a stranger in front of our own house...
hmm...
was i wrong to stay away?
heck it made me guilty as hell


and right after that i couldnt wait to get out of the house
cause mum wasnt at home u see
so i didnt want to be at home when she does
when all hell would break lose...
here i mean the nagging etc....
so i went out...
contemplated of not going home...
but then decided against it since i had stayed out on friday...
on the train ride home the thought of going home made me queasy...
sigh..


..............


anyways
went down to far east plaza in the evening to watch awi perform
of all the bands that played he was one of the best


you guys should go catch him and his band at timbre behind the substation where fat frog used to be...
every friday 10.30 pm onwards... perfect chill out place...


oh and yes the last band that performed was the worse
i thought the window panes of the surrounding stores were gonna shatter...
eeks
it was THAT bad... but gotta give them credit, at least they were brave enough to perform
even tho how bad they might be... all for a gd cause...


*******************************

somehow these past few days
i'm missing miss candy ho meixian


gerl how are you doin? Havent been seeing you ard lately
hope you're doing ok
take care of yourself okie!
and i cant wait for tuesday! ehehe
remember i'll always be here for you
for whatever and whenever okie dokie
*hugs*


***************************


hmm was reading the news and
our beloved MM Lee is advising the malay community
and this time about cutting down the number of teen marriages.


and i so agree with him
if you notice, these teen who marries at an early has a higher chance of getting divorced early in their adult life...
Maybe its a thing that started way back
get married early, have babies thus increase the country's population etc
*shrugs* i dont know
but getting marriage at such an early age
i just dont get it
for some of these girls its like a goal in life
wtf
sigh...


oh and in other news...
lung cancer is striking more young female non-smokers here and worldwide
omg
to all smokers out there
get out of my face if you want to smoke!
dont worry i will not go into a lecture why smoking is bad for you
cause i'll be wasting my breath..
but
I do not want to nor i ever wanna be a number in a statistic chart
i have other problems to kill me at an early age as it is
bleah
so pls go somewhere where your smoke wont harm ppl...
pisses me off so much if someone actually smokes in my face
very considerate these ppl sheesh...
like i want a share of their second hand smoke...


hmm taufik batisah, the brand new and first smoke free ambassador... wonder if that'll do any good... hmm maybe to his legion of die hard female fans...
oh well...

||:PreCiouS:||
8/29/2005 12:50:00 AM
||||


Saturday, August 27, 2005

Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after
all these years
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me
that well
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true


It's not that I wanna say goodbye
It's just that
every time you try to tell me that you love me
Each and every
single day I know
I'm going to have to eventually give you away
And
though my love is rare
And though my love is true
Hey I'm just scared
That we may fall through

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me


Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try


You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

||:PreCiouS:||
8/27/2005 10:03:00 PM
||||


what if i told you i was in love?



































*smilez*



















no not with any person
but with a song


a beautiful sad sad song
kehehehe















sorry to dissapoint you =P





hehe i'm bored
at home on a saturday evening
hmmzz.....


maybe i should go finish reading my Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince


ooh goblet of fire coming out in theaters in november!
trailer looks gd! cant wait =)



oh and tania we'll definitely stay over after the bbq!

||:PreCiouS:||
8/27/2005 06:13:00 PM
||||


Its close to 7am
i am rarely awake this early
cept that... i didnt go to sleep last night...
matter of fact i just got home a few minutes back...
saw the sunrise from my front door
i should be awake this early more often
so i can appreciate it much more and its also a prefect opportunity for me to take more photos for my future portfolio...


anyways,
yes i was out the whole night
didnt feel like going home after awi's gig at timbre
well the company was alright but as you know guys...
ah well...


an interesting night i might say
but i wont go into details
i'm tired and sleepy but my mind aint helping
i know i dont usually swear but...
i have a major fucking headache
and the best thing is i've ran out of panadol
bleah



i think i should get some shut eye....


good Saturday morning to you =)

||:PreCiouS:||
8/27/2005 06:52:00 AM
||||


Friday, August 26, 2005

I'm at a point where being single pretty much does not bother me anymore
Its not like i'm giving up on love and whatever that goes along with it
but as i begin to observe more things that has been developing around me
i realise that being single aint that bad
and its not my time yet to get into anything i would regret later
so might as well i enjoy life the way i want
and not be bothered by what the significant other might be feeling at one particular point of time or another...


I rather fall deeply in love once
rather then be hurt countless times
cause i've had my fair share of that thru other means


Somehow it still irks me that i sometimes do care about what people think
cause i figured that if that is what certain people think of me and that might actually be true...
but i've come to realise that it doesnt
i know i keep telling myself to ignore what people think but heck i'm human and out of habit sometimes i do care...
Does that show weakness?
Tho without me realising it my heart is cold in certain things
and i wish it could be cold here
make me hard hearted enough to not care
but then i wouldnt be me would i?


you know sometimes i still wonder why people actually come to my blog and read my posts cause some of the contents are very deja vous-ish to me haha...
Is it the singaporean kaypoh-ness? to arm themselves with ammo so they have enough of it to bring me down everytime? as a form of entertainment? or do i actually make sense in whatever i blog about?
*shrugs*
enlighten me pls somebody?


You know as much as i want people to understand me, to know where i'm coming from... but i dont want to bother people with details.
But ask and you shall be answered.
Maybe i'll write a book one day but then who the hell would want to buy it? haha...


I know i get very defensive at times
and it may rub people the wrong way
but sometimes its not my intention to...
According to my mum, i've been like this since i was small...
i particularly dont like it when people tell me what i cant do...
hmm...
i'm not even sure why i'm blogging this down...


there's so much things on my mind


i need a night out
hoping the cool night air will clear it out...


but then i have no one to go out with bleah
i cant very well hang out alone at night right? ahaha... =P


yes yes excuses i know
maybe i'll think of something





You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

||:PreCiouS:||
8/26/2005 12:24:00 AM
||||


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

oh gosh i just received an email from someone who found out abt my life story
and somehow it kinda touched me...


to that person, thank you. =)

||:PreCiouS:||
8/24/2005 05:57:00 PM
||||


Somehow it bugs me that some freshmen still thinks that all juniors and seniors have something against them
communication barrier? the juniors and seniors not extending friendship etc?


but hey it takes two hands to clap.
I'm not blaming either sides but cant everything start back on a clean slate?
We are afterall a small cohort and need each other one way or the other.


Funny how one little incident can cause a rather large aftereffect....


Peceptions and first impressions are not always correct
Isnt it wrong to make up one's mind on a person or a group of people without really getting to know them first?


Effort makes a very big difference....


I'm trying but can one voice help make a difference?



Anyways
i was thinking lately
about love, relationships and everything that goes along with it
why think of such things?
cause well i've been observing things going around me and somehow the topic of discussion lately revolves around it.


I know i'm not wrong to say this but
Every girl secretly dreams of a whirlwind romance, fairy tale endings and all the extra shindigs that goes along with it. Movies that shows happy ever after, passion and romance between the lead hero and heroine, heck who wouldnt want it to happen to them?


Daydreaming of that day or fantasizing how your current relationship can be like that....
but realistically in the real world, love aint like that.


Life isnt handed to you in a nice gift wrapped parcel with a lovely bow on top. It doesnt work that way. Nothing is ever perfect. To expect sometimes the impossible from a partner sometimes is just plain stupid.


I'm not saying love is not beautiful, in fact it is, but only when you accept your partner as who he/she is instead of comparing your love to a movie show or comparing your partners to your ideal man/women. And also not picking on every single fault or irritating habits they might have.


Not only is love about trust, patience and compromise. It is also about communication and going the extra mile.


Without communication, constant miscommunication will happen which most often then not lead to quarrels on who's right and who's wrong.


And sometimes just because you finally have each other perhaps after a year of courtship or having a crush on that person you think thats the end.
I've seen relationships break because parties think they are safe and that they do not need to do anything extra and just ride on the relationship wave, or that they are too busy for anything else, even for their own partners and they think its alright cause they assume that their partners will always be there. Some relationships even break because couples get bored with each other cause there's nothing there to spice up the relationship cause they think their love for each other is enough and they are waiting for each other to do something.


Like i mentioned previously, effort makes a big difference.
Sometimes its not the big things you do, but the little things that sometimes do make that difference.


Even so it doesnt help if one party is demanding. May it be emotionally or materialistically.


You want someone to understand you, to be there for you when you're down and out, and when your partner is not there for you, you feel betrayed, that he/she doesnt understand you and you need constant reminders that he/she loves you because of your insecurity.


Sounds familiar to you?


The thing is, here is where communication comes in. If you dont communicate how in the world do you expect your partner to understand you.
No one is born a mind reader. Sure there are people who can read emotions, feel empathy but we are human afterall.


So think about it. Have you been unfair to your partner? Expecting something that is unrealistic? Angry with them for something that is not totally their fault?


What's your move now?
Ignore it? or try and make it better?


It takes two hands to clap and sometimes someone has to take the initiative first.

||:PreCiouS:||
8/24/2005 04:32:00 PM
||||


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Its been awhile since i've come home from school this early
the past few weeks has been a mad rush
and everything is now starting to wind down...


I'm done with tutorials for the week
just left with MLOCT and CPA revision lecture.
Time to start on revision i suppose and preparations for the exams!
oh gosh even tho i want this semester to be over and done with
somehow in a way i dont want it to end cause
SIP is just a few weeks away! eeks!


Anyways i read matsie's post on chivalry and i suppose a lot of women out there complain that chivalry is dead because chivalry is very rare in this day and age in our society... at least that's what i think... haha...
I admit not all guys are irritating idiots and do actually care for their female counterparts. But then the obnoxious majority overshadow these minority.
Take it for instance in a rare case, especially for me, I had just finished my interview at Drew and Napier which is on the 17th floor. Took the lift down and on the way had a few stops to let in two men. I was standing where the lift buttons were. So when we reached the ground floor, as i'm usually used to I pressed the door open button to let the two men leave the elevator first. But to my surprise, one of the man, a caucasian guy acutally stopped by the entrance and gestured me to step out first. Okay i admit i was pleasantly surprised because usually something like this doesnt usually happen haha... He was a total gentleman. I suppose the thing is chivalry is so rare nowadays that when you actually come across you, you're taken aback that you're unsure how to react. Yes i almost walked into the wall when it happened ahaha....
Hmm i wish more singaporean guys were like that, but hey everyone is so darn busy and do not have the spare time to be a gentleman hehz


Here i could give examples how some males are so unchivalrous but then it will take forever so why even bother. Sometimes its become a norm that people just shrug it off, tho some things really just disgusts me.


okay here i will hear protests from guys who will say i'm being bias
whoa hold on for a minute i aint finished yet


this is the part where i go.. women *roll eyes*
yes even i'm one myself sometimes i just cant understand them haha...
i seriously pity those men who have difficulty trying to understand their girlfriends/colleagues/whoever they are dating.
Yes women are complicated
Yes means no and No means yes geez....


and some are so emotionally need that they think their partners dont have their own life to live. Oh and HELLO how is your guy suppose to know how you're feeling when you dont tell them and you keep playing the guessing game? And if you know your guy, wouldnt you know his strength and shortcomings and understand now and then where he is coming from? It doesnt help when he is trying and you are giving him an ultra hard time.


I particularly dont like those who control every single thing that their partners do. Well it works both ways actually. It applies to guys as well. Aint relationships suppose to be built on trust. Arent you together to support each other, believe in each other's abilities and not bring them down or control them like a caged animal?


ah oh and yes, and i dont like girls who are particularly materialistic and go for guys who are loaded, in another word, rich.
Sucking the guy dry of his riches and moving to the next when she gets bored with him.
These are people who i call leeches. Cause they are exactly like those worms. bleah.


wokie i can go on and on but i shall stop tsk


anyways yesterday was an interesting day
the prom comm went around the city hall area surveying the shortlisted locations for prom
We came to a unanimous agreement
details will be up soon i suppose


Anyways we took photos along the way
as requested here they are...



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LOCATION #1 - THE ARTS MUSEUM


me and tania @ the Arts Museum


Arts Museum 1


Arts Museum 2


The Glass House


Life Statue



LOCATION #2 - ACM @ EMPRESS


ACM @ Empress


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LOCATION #3 - THE ARTS HOUSE


The Arts House


The Arts House.com


The Arts House Entrance


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Mirror Image


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anyways LAW bbq is on!
This event is to help fundraise for Project Twinkle 2!
Its $10 per person, Every $5 will go to the project twinkle fund.
Law&Mgmt peeps pls do come down and support
It'll be on 11 Sept(Sunday) @ ECP (near bedok jetty)
5pm till late
Dont worry its after the exams so its the perfect time to wind down and have fun!
Those interested pls approach the representatives for each level


Year 1 - Nur Ain
Year 2 - Berlinda/Jade/Yolanda
Year 3 - Me/Candy

Please spread the word around! Thanks! =)

||:PreCiouS:||
8/23/2005 08:17:00 PM
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Funny how you think your mum will be proud of your achievements and she reprimands you for it instead.....

||:PreCiouS:||
8/23/2005 09:17:00 AM
||||


Oh, I think the lady did protest too much
She wouldn't take the flower from my hand
She only saw the shadow of my circumstance
Perception can describe what makes a man


I didn't mean to interrupt your stride
But a rose was all I had to give
Sometimes beauty isn't recognised
When it contrasts with what you feel inside


Who's to say the darkened clouds must lead to rain
Who's to say the problems should just go away
Who's to point a finger at what's not understood


Because, we're all mad in our own way
Colours fade the grey away
Different people all the same
Each reveals the meaning
We're all mad in our own way
Fill the sky with different shades
Read the story on each page
Each reveals the meaning


Sometimes I think I over analyse
As if I cant control the time and place
Life isn't something you try on for size
You can't love without the give and take


Who's to say the darkened clouds must lead to rain
Who's to say the problems should just go away
Who's to point a finger at what's not understood


Because, we're all mad in our own way
Colours fade the grey away
Different people all the same
Each reveals the meaning
We're all mad in our own way
Fill the sky with different shades
Read the story on each page
Each reveals the meaning


We're all mad in our own way
Colours fade the grey away
Different people all the same
Each reveals the meaning
We're all mad in our own way
Fill the sky with different shades
Read the story on each page
Each reveals the meaning

||:PreCiouS:||
8/23/2005 02:11:00 AM
||||


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Just got home awhile back
spent the whole day baking at naz's place
i swear i'm staying away from chocolate for a whole week! haha =P


The weekend has been kinda fulfilling in a way
Civil pro test yesterday was a killer
it'll be a miracle if i pass


Went to Pasir Panjang after the Prom forum to take a look at Reflections @ Bukit Chandu, one of the shortlisted locations for Prom. MEi drove us there after we got the baking stuff at Bedok.
We actually got lost for about 1 and a half hours going in and out of expressways! Just to get to HarbourFront!! omg!!!
Gimme public transport anytime haha...
But at least we learnt something from it... how to not get lost the next time haha...


Baking today was fun in a way =P
Hard labour but it was for a good cause
The oven actually gave up on us just when we were at our last batch
tsktsk
but with all the excess choc we had, we had our own mini choc fondue
if only we had more variety of fruits hehe...



i am now tired and sleepy
and i'm suppose to do my values reflection which is due tomorrow
and i cant access TP webmail!!! My half-done draft is in there!!
haiz...
maybe bright and early tomorrow i shall complete it =)



okie replying to all my tags...


HER! - The 'art' actually got approved cause it was kinda part of the event theme... well i think.. haha...


soffie - sorry lah gerl. hehe.. next time i'll invite you too okie =) oh and mx did lose weight.. well at least most of us think so...


mei - there are plenty of photo opportunities besides investiture, dont worry haha...


Denise and NUR - Ello to you guys too! haha... Can i link you guys up?


Melvo - I know you do wahaha =) Backatcha buddy =P

||:PreCiouS:||
8/21/2005 11:53:00 PM
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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned!
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me...

||:PreCiouS:||
8/18/2005 12:34:00 AM
||||


Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I wish i could sleep and never wake up
bleah
thats how i feel at the moment


but my dreams are making me even more tired
haiz


I think there's something very wrong with me
I'm like sick at least once a week
I feel exhausted like i've been running a never ending marathon
I dont look forward to morning classes anymore
I can only fall asleep after 1am, sometimes not at all


my mum has been subtly reminding me how i am a bad sister and a bad daughter
I dont know if its on purpose or otherwise
i'm not surprised if its on purpose
like i dont feel bad enough already....


I am at a point where loneliness doesnt bother me anymore cause i'm in no mood to socialize
I am starting hate crowds even more
I dont get why some people like to go on an on about an issue that is not even worth mentioning. bleah


I am almost 21 but i feel like i'm turning 51 (if i'll ever reach that age that is)
good god
i am messed up

||:PreCiouS:||
8/17/2005 08:45:00 PM
||||


Monday, August 15, 2005

blisters, blood and cuts on my feet
and i'm still down with yesterday's food poisoning
but heck today was all worth it


Law investiture happened today
gotta admit its started off shaky but it ended off great =)


moments that i'll never forget
like me tripping over the microphone wire and falling infront of the whole LT
haha =P
the unexpect hug from ms lim, etc


kudos to ramzi for pulling everything together
and to the rest of the comm and sub comm for all the effort put into it
voice and shazwani for an awesome performance
oh yea and not forgetting the emcees naz and mat for a job well done =)
and also to the rest of the students who turned up! *smilez*


Already uploaded the photos from my cam here they are!


Pre, Actual and Post Event....


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||:PreCiouS:||
8/15/2005 11:17:00 PM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.

.Through Their Eyes.

::azfar ::amin ::apRi ::candy::
::celine ::desz ::david:
::dexter ::darren ::deedee::
::denise ::edel ::ernie::
::fidz ::haider ::han::
::haze ::hally ::huda::
::ifah ::indra ::ezad::
::jaslyn ::jasmine ::jay::
::jjonsson ::kay ::lily ::lin::
::matsie ::melvo ::marco::
::massy ::mei ::mitch ::mraz::
::mrbrown ::nadz ::naz::
::nur ::nurul ::ode ::priya::
::peiming ::riah ::roihan::
::soffie ::sashi ::seasons::
::sheng ::tania ::vit::
::vonny ::xuantong ::YoLie::


.Archive.

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  • July 2004
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    .Reading.


    .In My iPod.

    Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High
    Josh Groban - Awake
    My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
    James Morrison - Undiscovered
    Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds

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