Friday, August 26, 2005

I'm at a point where being single pretty much does not bother me anymore
Its not like i'm giving up on love and whatever that goes along with it
but as i begin to observe more things that has been developing around me
i realise that being single aint that bad
and its not my time yet to get into anything i would regret later
so might as well i enjoy life the way i want
and not be bothered by what the significant other might be feeling at one particular point of time or another...

I rather fall deeply in love once
rather then be hurt countless times
cause i've had my fair share of that thru other means

Somehow it still irks me that i sometimes do care about what people think
cause i figured that if that is what certain people think of me and that might actually be true...
but i've come to realise that it doesnt
i know i keep telling myself to ignore what people think but heck i'm human and out of habit sometimes i do care...
Does that show weakness?
Tho without me realising it my heart is cold in certain things
and i wish it could be cold here
make me hard hearted enough to not care
but then i wouldnt be me would i?

you know sometimes i still wonder why people actually come to my blog and read my posts cause some of the contents are very deja vous-ish to me haha...
Is it the singaporean kaypoh-ness? to arm themselves with ammo so they have enough of it to bring me down everytime? as a form of entertainment? or do i actually make sense in whatever i blog about?
*shrugs*
enlighten me pls somebody?

You know as much as i want people to understand me, to know where i'm coming from... but i dont want to bother people with details.
But ask and you shall be answered.
Maybe i'll write a book one day but then who the hell would want to buy it? haha...

I know i get very defensive at times
and it may rub people the wrong way
but sometimes its not my intention to...
According to my mum, i've been like this since i was small...
i particularly dont like it when people tell me what i cant do...
hmm...
i'm not even sure why i'm blogging this down...

there's so much things on my mind

i need a night out
hoping the cool night air will clear it out...

but then i have no one to go out with bleah
i cant very well hang out alone at night right? ahaha... =P

yes yes excuses i know
maybe i'll think of something

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

||:PreCiouS:||
8/26/2005 12:24:00 AM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.