Sunday, September 25, 2005

I guess you would expect me to blog on my so called experience on the first few days of SIP...
sorry to dissapoint you but i'm not
i'll just bore you to death if i did

I caught Beyond Borders yesterday on cable starring Angelina Jolie and Clive Owen.
The story is about a romance between two star crossed lovers set in a war torn Africa, Cambodia, etc...
It wasnt a typical romance movie to me, but it actually opened my eyes to the suffering in war torn Africa where food and water is scarce...

We dont know how lucky we are. To have a roof over our heads, to have food and water, to have an education, tho i know for some, we have alot of responsiblities to carry, bills, expenses, etc but we manage
even if we do just scrape thru..

but for them food is like a luxury
when we have a cold or feel pain what do we normally do? Take panadol or painkillers rite?
but for them they just feel
Every physical pain that they feel, its a reminder that they are alive and they are thankful just for that...

To me it aint fair
what they are going thru
With all the advancement in this world
why is there still proverty?

I'm glad that something is being done
I'm glad the ONE organisation is ard to do something

and here i am sitting wishing i could do something
if only i had enough resources to help...

but for now as i assess my life
i figured that i need to make a difference with the things around me first
start small
and perhaps i'll eventually be capable enough and stable enough to help out in a bigger way...

||:PreCiouS:||
9/25/2005 05:49:00 PM
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Sunday, September 18, 2005

Beautiful Letdown

It was a beautiful let down
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful let down
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
Until I found out
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But I don't belong

It was a beautiful let down
When you found me here
Yeah for once in a rare blue moon I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful let down
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free
We're still chasin our tails and the rising sun
And our dark water planet's
Still spinning in a race
Where no one wins and no one's one

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But i don't belong
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Kingdom come
Your kingdom come

Won't you let me down yeah
Let my foolish pride
Forever let me down

Easy living, not much like your name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Won't you please take me off your list
Easy living please come on and let me down

We are a beautiful let down,
Painfully uncool,
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools
Oh what a beautiful let down
Are we salt in the wound
Let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Feels like I don't belong here
Let me down
Let me down
Feels like I'm let down
Let me down.
Cuz I don't belong here
Please
Won't you let me down?

||:PreCiouS:||
9/18/2005 04:24:00 AM
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Collide

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

||:PreCiouS:||
9/18/2005 02:34:00 AM
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Friday, September 16, 2005

I just got back after being away from home and the computer for like four days
and i've come to realise that i tend to miss the computer very much haha...
but even so i've been getting more sleep then i ever did compared to when i'm actually at home with a computer nearby.. hmmm... says something doesnt it? haha...

i've been doing absolutely nothing
which is good i guess, before i really change gear for SIP
but then i realised something that sorta dampened my mood... well just for a few hours yesterday night before i got cheered up by melvo and dee dee...
for the few days i've been enjoying myself, i actually forgot all about my father's birthday...
yes i know he's no longer here and all but i kinda feel guilty for not actually remembering it and only realizing it the day after... (not to mention my sis has the same bdae as him)
i know i should move on with my life and not linger on painful memories and etc.. but sometimes its just hard...
how do you really get over something that is so painful and have been supressing it for too long?

I realise that alot has also been happening the few days i've been away
and here i am thinking why didnt it all happen when i am somewhere where i can actually do something? sheesh... and i was given last minute deadlines on the days i've been away... gee thanks...

And I think i'm getting too old for some things... hah and i'm only turning 21... bleah...
I seriously need to loosen up abit and not take things too seriously then it needs to be...
life is afterall short
and mine is even shorter =P
hmmmmz....

i think i shall end of here and proceed to watching tv and wait for survivor to start =P

Please stop thinking that you know me when you actually dont
Stop telling people about me when all you do is just assume...

||:PreCiouS:||
9/16/2005 11:31:00 AM
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Saturday, September 10, 2005

i can easily blame my mood swings on PMS
but i refuse to
cause i believe one should be in control of one emotions
but i realise that i am failing badly
and sometimes i affect the people around me
and i'll feel so ultra ultra guilty for affecting them the way i do...

anyways i'm pass dwelling what i'm feeling right now...
cause its of no use...

I just hate it when i hear people admit defeat even before anything happens
I hate it when ppl expect failure even before they know anything
what the fuck is this
yes i am bloody pissed off
if everything is seen in a negative light where do you think things will go from here
what happened to believing in the best?
what happened to passion?
what happened to learning?
So at the hint of failure everything gets pushed away and thus give up????!?

and what if all this is triggered by people you respect
people who are suppose to believe in you
people who are suppose to guide you and help you learn?!??

i dont get it
i seriously dont need this right now
i have so many things in my head
and i dont even know why tears are running down my face

yes i'm sad
sad at how everything is turning out...

I hope September ends quickly
seeing how it only brings me pain and sadness...

||:PreCiouS:||
9/10/2005 07:19:00 PM
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Friday, September 09, 2005

I'm fucking tired
I have a mega headache
AND
I cant sleep

i'm doubting that home is ever gonna be a haven
if it was, why do i feel like i'm drowning?

maybe my years away has made me a stranger
i donno

every opportunity i get to just be far away i grab it
am i insane?
shouldnt i be thankful for what i have?

I feel like crying but i cant bring myself to.....

someone should just kill me
it'll be easier for everyone

||:PreCiouS:||
9/09/2005 12:10:00 AM
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005

After catching the ending of today's charmed episode on channel 5
i think billy zane can give micheal buble a run for his money

some people are just lucky that i'm a very patient person
yes i surprise myself to on how patient i can be given the situation
but being patient has its limits
i could very well just blow my top and be angry
but heck i've chosen to just ignore and let them say what ever they want to,
as long as it doesnt hurt anyone *shurgs*
sure it irritates the hell out of me
especially when it happens almost everyday...
it gets tiring...
especially when some people just assumes that it started off with something that is totally not true...
haiz.. cest la vie...

hmm maybe we should really give them something to talk about
hah
maybe that will stop the ridiculous teasing

anyways
today was day one of the exams
one paper down, another one to go

Company Law - 0930hours

ooh all the best peeps!

Right after the exams, we have like one week to rest and recharge before SIP
i'm so looking forward to the break
i think i'm just gonna slack and do nothing
khehehe

haiz but realistically
i just know its wishful thinking on my part...
=P

okie i shall get back to my company law revision now...

toodlez =)

||:PreCiouS:||
9/07/2005 09:42:00 PM
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Sunday, September 04, 2005

I realise that when i go into my deep thinking moods i affect the people around me...
i'm sorry
i know how frustrating i can be when it happens

at times like this whenever i hear Jet's Look What You've Done
I fell like somehow it is mocking me...
sigh...

Its the weekend
final leg of study week
and my revision is not progressing as fast as i like it to be
and it doesnt help that i have no mood to study most of the time
maybe its the subjects
or perhaps its just me
sigh...

i cant wait to get the exams over and done with...
ho hum....

aite then..
photos from thursday's prom mtg

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