Thursday, October 13, 2005

I have a new love!

LoLx no i'm not i love with anyone particular

i'm actually talking about music

i'm a fan of singers with good voices, like josh groban for example

and recently i found out about this group
I'm sure you might heard of them,

IL DIVO

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they sound good and look good to boot
LoL

anyways...
i know this blog somehow sounds depressing due to past couple of postings....
well if peiming actually commented about it, that's already saying something
hehe... (no offence peiming =P)

i actually have one v.long draft entry abt my view on it
but i left it in my office drawer haha.. oh well
okie lets forget about that and here is what i'm currently thinking....

I will from now on try and refrain myself from posting any depressive or upsetting posts no matter how upset i may be at the moment. Yes i sometimes tend to post stuff compulsively =P

Well cause the thing is, its not doing anyone any good, except for "kaypohs" who loves drama in other people's lives and love to bitch about the person they loath/hate. I may fall into that category, who knows? *shrugs* LoL nevermind that, honestly i dont give a rats ass =P

So from now on i want to be more on the positive side. Everything happens for a reason rite? So i may be bitter or upset now and then but it will pass. We have one life to live, so why not deal with whatever may come =)

I know my passion for some things have been dwindling. Several factors may be the reason behind this and i've come to realise that most of it is because of fear and me allowing myself to drown myself in unnessary emotions and stressing myself out =P well plus a few external reasons concerning unpredictable/predictable human behaviour that sometimes makes you want to tear you hair out LoLx

yes and readers of this blog, i know i sometimes do come across as 'angsty', well my posts i mean. I guess its a phase that i'm going thru in my life. I'm still learning and searching for what's right for me. What exactly i'm living for, establishing my goals and dreams.

ooh and.....
yesterday i've come to a realisation.

I am tired of waiting

i know some of you are going "What in the world is this girl talking about?"

LoL

okie for the past few days i've been literally waiting for people,
it might be to meet up or pass something etcetc
and it hit me while i was in the middle of one of the 'waiting session'
that i was tired of waiting
not waiting as in physically waiting
but metaphorically... err i think =P

well its like this
i realise that i'm tired of waiting for good things to happen to me,
of waiting for the person to make the first move (whoever that person might be), waiting for a miracle, waiting for something i need, something i want...

i guess if you want something to happen, you gotta do it yourself ey?

well for somethings, finding courage is a challenge. Maybe as time pass i'll have the courage to do somethings but for now i'll take one step at a time.. or i could just leave it to fate LoLx

and i think its now time for a change
heck i'm not getting any younger
might as well start to look and act my age
(hmm why do i sound like i'm turning 31? LoL)

what i'm trying to say is
i'm turning 21 in like a month and 10 days? and somehow i dont feel like i look/dress like peeps my age. hmm okay i know i sound superficial at this moment but hey looking good and feeling good is the first step to confidence rite? hmm well that's what i think LoL

ok comfort v style, i'm a comfort kind of person. Sometimes fashion just falls flat on me, well that's what i think. Anyways, sure i'm going to try and make the effort of being more presentable in the way i look and all that but rest assured comfort is still my no.1 priority. Cause why would i want to look good and feel damn uncomfortable? Totally beats the purpose haha...

Then there are those days you just want to wear your most comfortable jeans, shirt and flip flops and not bother about what people might think you look like. I'm usually like that which is why i'm not the kind of person who turns heads.. well cept for some buggers who never seen a female person of my height and keeps staring. geewhiz ok already, no need to keep checking if i'm wearing heels or not. bleah.

Aite i think i've said enough for now
believe it or not i'm actually spent
gotta get some rest
6 boxes full of files waiting for me in the office bright and early tomorrow
the thought of them makes me want to cry
LoL
no i wont cry
but i shall persevere! khehehe

well i'm changing deparment mid wk next wk
am i looking foward to it?
hmm.. the thought of starting all over aint that thrilling but at least i'll be doing something new...

7 wks to go
god help us all
i wouldnt mind if these coming 7 wks will pass in a blink of the eye
wouldnt it be just lovely =P

salute!

||:PreCiouS:||
10/13/2005 10:13:00 PM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.