Monday, November 14, 2005

Contemplation II

I was watching Mulan II for the umpteenth time yesterday and somehow or rather this exchange between Mei and Ting Ting stuck with me...

Mei: How can you do that?! How can you look right at someone, realize you share a special connection, and then just -
Ting Ting:: I know where my duty lies,
Mei: Do you?

And I'm asking myself the very same question Mei is asking Ting Ting.. Hmmz...

I just love awkward situations with the opposite sex, don't you? =P

Do you believe in omens? Signs?
Cause coincidences don't occur regularly right?

A friend commented recently, "surely a person who writes about relationships wouldn't really say that she cant be bothered about being in a relationship."
Well that may not be the exact phrase but it was along those lines.

Well...
Not that I cant be bothered about being in a relationship, its just that I am not the luckiest sort in the love department tho I may have commented a lot about it. I think I scare away guys. LoL
*shrugs*
And I'm the old fashioned kinda girl. I'm not the kind who makes the first move. And my height doesn't help either, being taller than most guys I know. LoLx

Ah well... It may all just be mere excuses
Perhaps I just love my independence too much =)

I thought it was long gone. Whatever there was to begin with. But perhaps I'm wrong. Or maybe my heart is just messing around, playing with my head.
Just when you were thinking about something and things around you suddenly seem to associate themselves with the very thing you're thinking about.
Its kinda scary, unless I'm just being paranoid and expecting some thing to happen which never will...

I guess it is better to stop expecting for something so you'll stop getting hurt. To not expect someone to turn up for your graduation ceremony, so you wont feel disappointed, to not expect people to be there for your birthdays, cause you'll get used to spending it on your own and wont feel down hearted, to not expect a thank you for sacrificing your time cause you know you wanted to do it from the goodness of your heart and it does not matter if you are not appreciated, to be there for someone and not expect anything in return cause it will simply hurt when they do not need you any longer and only look for you when they need more help, to not expect a person to make a move or simply do just about anything so you would not get your hopes up and feel a painful pang in the heart when you realize nothing is ever gonna happen...

Anyhow,
It's the final 3 weeks of our internship.
Its kinda bittersweet I suppose. I'm so looking forward to school but then there's also the familiarity and routine that I've gotten used to working in this firm.
But still I'm more looking forward to school, even tho I know there are tons of work and projects to be done when we get back.
Spending Xmas and New Year's week in school, that is definitely going to be interesting.

Okie moving on to a timeline abit further away, I am thinking of going off for a short holiday after the final semester exams.
Destination?
I have no idea as of yet but perhaps this trip can be a motivation for me to work hard in the final sem and enjoy myself later. But then there's also the thing about who to go with? Somehow that has always seem to be the problem. Kinda hard to find someone like me who likes to do things at the spur of the moment
Hmmz...

Argh I'm still tired from the "jalan raya" yesterday, 'twas a mistake for us to have gone on a Sunday instead of a Saturday. My eyes are gonna just close any second. I think I shall now proceed to find something to keep me awake and keep my growling stomach at bay. Hehez =P

70 mins to lunch!

ciao peepz =)

||:PreCiouS:||
11/14/2005 11:50:00 AM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.