Monday, March 20, 2006

independence
dont we all want it....
met up with aida, ifah and wan today
caught up with what each other is currently doing, had my usual earful of woes and views of relationships and the closing topic of the outing - independence.
Independence from parents. To stand on one's own feet and not be a victim of sibling favouritism and family pressures.

At some points in our life, dont we all just feel like moving out of the house, rent an apartment with friends and live together. To be free from nagging parents and how much fun it will be living with close friends...

TV makes it all look easy doesnt it? but in reality, living expenses here aint cheap plus with red tapes galore.... And some of us arent born in luxury with the option to do what we please.
unless of course we land ourselves a cushy job that gives us the luxury of a disposable income... of course after taking into account the various bills to pay, putting aside money for siblings still in school, helping out with some family household expenses, some spending money for mum...
but then again, all the things i just mentioned are just mere excuses arent they?
when there's a will there's a way right?

hmm...
i'm starting to warm up to the idea actually
finally getting my own room
with actual storage space to put in my things instead of boxes at the corner of a room or books lining my bedside..
ouh the thought of having my own space is soo thrilling!
no more cramp spaces
no more frustration of having to pick up after someone else's mess
no more headaches when trying to find a space to store my stuff
ouh and i could get myself a bigger sized bed!
more stretching space! begone body cramps! lolx

oh but how my mum will freak out if she ever hears me wanting to move out
hmm but then wouldnt the family be used to my absence since i've lived away from the family for 7 years?
but i bet she's gonna bring up about family responsiblities and how i still have 5 siblings still in school....

ouh plansplansplans has to be made if i really want to do this
well actually the thought has crossed my mind for the past.. hmm.. what.. 5 years? lolx
but for now i shall enjoy the simple independence i have
no curfew
my mum's trust
her letting me do what i want to do (tho with the constant reminder that god is always watching)
for now i'm content
altho naggings due to my other siblings sometimes can be an earful
and the lack of space i have in the house is somewhat irritating
it is still bearable

speaking of which
you know how some unattached people/single people like to say that they are independent beings and they do not need anyone by their side?
I dont think it is true.
I think its an act to show others how strong they are.
The fact of the matter is that it sometimes gets lonely.
One could be standing facing the most beautiful scenery in the world but then there is no one to share it with...
to feel immense joy or extreme sadness
with no one to share it with....
even if one has many friends, surrounded by peers, colleagues, etc
the feeling is still different...
to have a connection with that one person who you can share everything with
your dreams, feelings, joys, sorrows
with no pretense, no demands, no pressure
its funny how the feeling of loneliness is felt much deeper at night
when you walk along the streets at night
with enough people watching you can actually categorize some 'single' people into categories

i was wondering
you know the thing about soul mates, where it is said everyone has their own soul mate out there?
I was wondering, if it is true that the ratio of women is greater than man, wouldnt it be a bit hard for women to actually find their soul mate?
The question now is, is there really a thing called soul mates? and what exactly is a soul mate? Could it be possible that one's soul mate doesnt necessarily need to be The One?
What if one's soul mate is just a person you can basically connect with? have a deeper connection with more then others? more intune to each other's feelings? on the same frequency as each other?
the person could just simply be your friend or someone in your family, extended or otherwise couldnt it?

||:PreCiouS:||
3/20/2006 04:11:00 AM
||||

.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.