Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The end of April is near and the General Elections are here.
New blogskin just because i was getting bored with the one i had.
too lazy to do a new one from scratch and my back still doesnt allow me to sit for long periods of time in front of my bro's comp which is the only one with photoshop so the skin you see here is courtesy of blogskins.

For your reading pleasure i shall update you with the happenings of my life, which i have admit to you ladies and gents that it aint that much cause my life aint as exciting as a rock star. lolx.
My weekly routine is nowadays going to and from NUH all the way on the west side of the island, i live in the east by the way for those not in the know. Other than that my days consists of the bed, the tv, the computer, the internet, library books, food and anticipation on when i'm going to meet my friends next before i die of boredom at home.

I have yet to find a job because apart from the weekly physiotheraphy that i have to attend, i'm waiting to find out the final results from my doctor and if there is anything that can be done to relive the daily pain in my back so i can function as per normal and not having to worry of the kink in my back the whole day.

Since i have a lot of idle time in my hands, i have been thinking and i've come to a conclusion that i'm a coward. I know I know its not the kind of things people admit to. Coward in the sense that i tend to push people away when there's a possible hint that they would get close to me.

In simpler terms, i'm afraid of the possiblity of getting into a potential relationship where love is involved. I'm afraid of getting hurt. So why risk the possiblity of getting hurt when you can simply avoid that messy situation? yes simply put i'm a coward. I'm brave enough to face whatever that is thrown at me but i'm a coward when it comes to relationships. Which is why it aint surprising that i've remained single all this while.

The thing is, if a friend can hurt you like an a arrow through the heart and stomp on it like it is nothing, then wouldnt someone you are in a relationship with and eventually fall in love with can hurt you 10 times more?

Although having a relationship may have it perks, being single aint that bad. Only that the down side of it is that you get too independent for your own good that you tend to push people away without realising it.

Is this one area of my life i should work on?
I donno
but looking at my track record of losing the people i love and care about
why let myself get hurt over and over again?
it sometimes feel that it just aint worth it.

Anyways the General Elections are here
Its kind of exciting when you know what's going on
the perks of being a law student, you actually understand better what is going on.
There would most propbably be a contest in the GRC i live in.
If there is then it will be the first time i get to vote!
We'll see what happens on Thursday.

Meanwhile i'm planning a trip to go away for awhile before i change my gear and work towards where i want to go. I'm not really sure yet the exact path i'm going to take but i know i'll get to where i'm suppose to be in due time. This trip i'm planning for is just to get away from modern society for awhile, throw away baggage that i no longer need in my life, rediscover my passion, my goals, and start afresh.
It is of course a budget trip, nothing fancy, only what i can afford with no income. lolx.

aite its getting late and i have chores to see to tomorrow
salute!

oh yea btw before i forget
i know its 3 days late, better late than never...

Happy 22nd Birthday to Apri!
wow 22 somehow sounds old
i shouldn't comment so much since i'm turning the same age in 7 months time lolx.
anyways apri all the best in your future endeavours
best wishes and god bless =)

||:PreCiouS:||
4/26/2006 02:33:00 AM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.