Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Alrighty then.

First time in weeks I have not much to do. Maybe its because I'm leaving at the end of the month.

Yes you read correctly, I'm leaving my job at the end of the month. Surprisingly so my boss is really nice about it.

You see after almost a month of working full time in a law firm, I realize I'm not cut out for law. The routine, the working hours, the pressure and the mind numbing factor just makes me feel 'blah'. I do not think i can continue the constant 3am jolts and all that jazz. I didnt really told my boss that i wanted to resign right out. I didnt care about the pay that i will lose earning but more on my sanity. During the weekend i stewed and worried and couldnt stop thinking what is the best thing i could do with my situation.

So bright and early on Monday morning, when i had the night before made up my mind to resign, i arrived in the office the earliest i have ever been and found out to my surprise that my boss had actually came back on Sunday (i think) and installed a shelf for me, there was even a note with a smiley face to me to mind my head so i would not accidently knock my head on the shelf when i decide to stand up. And damn did i feel guilty about even wanting to tell him i wanted to resign.

When he came in later close to noon, i didnt have the courage to let him know what was on my mind, so i decided, maybe later when i have gathered enough courage. A few minutes later, he came to my desk to give me back the files that i had left on his desk to sign, and then he suddenly asked me, "are you ok?" and to my horror i started to cry. omg. i was thinking "shit what the hell am i doing????" lolx

anyways the boss told me to come into the office cause he was obviously shocked when he saw tears streaming down my face. In his office he asked me again what was wrong and i told him. I told him how law didnt suit me, how i miss having passion in doing something, my reasoning behind how lack of passion is disastrous for me and the mistake i had made the previous week and how dissapointed i am with myself.. well that was the gist of it i suppose.

And all the while i was speaking, he was looking at me in amusement. ish.
But all in all he told me he actually understood. He assured me of some things that i was so worried about and he was nice about it when i hinted to him that i wanted to resign. He told me to give the job another try, finish up my probation period and help him clear his backlog and when i leave i'll leave on a good note and he wiill have no problems recommending me to other jobs that i might be interested in.

Relief washed over me like you would never believe it. lolx.

Then yesterday he called me into his office again. He told me about how miserable i looked the day before and he was thinking about it. He thought how unfair it was for him to ask me to stay longer when clearly i was miserable and that it would be difficult for him to actually teach me new things knowing that i'll be leaving soon. So he said that he'll confirm with me in a few days and that i could leave at the end of the month.

yupyup.

So i'm now on the prowl for interesting new jobs. I'm not fussy about the pay as long as i enjoy what i'm doing. Then applying for University for next year's intake will be my next priority and planning out the estimate expenses i would be spending in college and how and where should i get a study loan. and i'm definitely NOT be taking up law. I've already kind of decided what i want to do but i'm still researching where is the best place to go. =)

On to other things..

DREAMSCAPE 3.0

Dramatec's major production this year. Directed by three of the most talented people i know, Dee (Nadira), Shahdon & Shikin.

This year's production was a device play and something that to my knowledge DT has never done before. Throughout the process, even though i'm not part of any of the planning and execution process, i knew there were alot of ups and downs, doubts and frustrations. But the play pulled through as i knew it would.

The play was brilliant and the actors were fantastic. They challenged themselves and became their characters.

Sir Richard Thomas Snr and Jnr were my favourite characters. Not because i'm bias, because i believed the characters they were playing. They made me feel what they were feeling. Even though the story needs some tweaking in some areas but the characters made it work. Two of the most potential actors that will go far, Yazid and Mel, if only they believed more in themselves and continue doing what they do best, acting.

The supporting cast who stole the show, Mak Bedah a.k.a Dee (Nadira). Lolx

You should have heard the applause when she left the stage. *grinz

Overall its the best DT major production i've been to. I hope this is a step up for DT and that it will continue to grow =)

||:PreCiouS:||
6/21/2006 12:47:00 PM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.