Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Almost had an episode in the train on my way to work today. I was scheduled for 1st shift today which is at 8.30 a.m. Promptly left the house at 6.30 a.m. only to be left waiting at the bus stop for half an hour before i actually got on the bus to the interchange. Don't you just hate morning peak hours?

Anyways as usual the train was packed and i found myself standing near the door away from the platform. Halfway through the journey i started to feel queasy. My heart was beating too fast, a conversation between two girls who were standing too close to me was starting to sound damn irritating and too loud. I felt like a sardine in a can with no way out and the walls closing down on me. I kept telling myself to suck it up and bear with the pain cause i for one do NOT want to cause a scene and blackout in a packed train. Nor do i ever want to find myself in the back of an ambulance ever again. I kept staring at the view outside to take my mind off things, as soon as the train went into the tunnel after Kallang i started to panic. Lolx. Which was when i decided i needed to sit down. As soon as the train stopped at Lavender, i immediately alighted and went towards the nearest bench(?)

Haiz i do so hate such episodes. I blame it on the lack of breakfast and the non-existant meal i had yesterday. All i had for the whole day was biscuits and milo. hehz

Trying to get my body clock back on track has been a bitch. Tho i try to sleep as early as i can, i still find myself falling asleep only close to 2 a.m. and when i plan to wake up at 5.30 a.m. i end up waking up every hour thinking i'll be late. So much for restfull sleep.

I need to start exercising. Not for the purpose for losing weight (I do not need to lose any more weight than i can actually gain), I simply need to get healthy. The thing is i can't run, as i have no stamina and my heart won't allow it, I can't swim a decent lap also because of that reason (even tho i still do try and do 1/3 of a lap lolx), I don't go the gym as i've never been to one and i think i'll die of embarassment since i have no idea how to use any of their equipments. Well i can brisk walk. Hmm well that's one option, or i can cycle (if only my bro didnt dismantle his bike). So best option now is brisk walking and do what ever swimming i can. Now as soon as i get my body clock fixed to wake up at regular early morning hours, i can get started.

aite, now the answer to Lily's question. What's my next step?
My next step is to apply to LASALLE-SIA College of the Arts to pursure Arts Management. Its something i really want to do. Actually it has been one of the things i wanted to do eversince Secondary school only that the orphanage i used to live in the didnt allow it. So now that i'm free to choose what i want to do, why not pursue something that i thot was once impossible.

Oh and i have a confession, i know some of you know this but for those who don't, after ITE i never did choose law. Law never even came across my mind for a second until it was offered to me when the course i wanted to pursue had no more vacancies as they had reached their quota. I was only offered a place in law the weekend before the semester started! The only reason i agreed to the offer was because if i had actually waited to resume my studies the year after, i would have suffered a year of uncertainty and depression in the orphanage. I simply didnt like the idea of being holed up in the orphanage waiting and waiting even tho i was offered a place in the course i wanted for the next academic year. Was it a stupid decision? Perhaps. But if i didnt join law i'm certain my life would have been empty without all the wonderful individuals i've came to know and love along my journey. I would have been missing out on alot of experience and self discoveries i've had along the way.

Choices in life are ours to make no matter what the circumstances are and i'm a believer that things happen for a reason =)

||:PreCiouS:||
9/19/2006 09:51:00 PM
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Monday, September 18, 2006

Another week gone by.
I now officially hold two part time jobs and i 'm absolutely enjoying it.

I've finally made up my mind to not take the SATS. Firstly because it is a waste of money, Secondly i have not done any maths, least to say algebra for the past 5 years now and i dont think starting now is what i want to do, Lastly have no intention of killing myself over something i dont really want to do.

All these years i've been choosing paths that i have to take due to circumstances. I think its high time now that i actually make choices based on what i want to do, based on my passions as opposed to restrictions and limitations of circumstances that has been surrounding me all these years.

Celebrated Iz's 21st birthday during the weekend. ( Confession: I did not know Iz was turning 21!! i thot he was the same age as his beloved Naz! lolx! sorry mate =P)
We were missing a few peeps but we had them in spirit.. literally since there were the exact amount of vacant chairs at our table. lolx.
After dinner and the birthday cake that everyone could not seem to finish (cept me of course, i ate mine and half of tania tay's), We went to have dessert at this quaint cafe opposite bugis junction whose owner is a friend of Darren's. The gals had our fill of chocolate fondue while we chatted and took photos.

After desserts, the only peeps left were me, tania, naz, iz, darren & mx, the night was still young so we decided to chill out by the river @ raffles. It's been quite some time since all of us took time out to simply chill, catch up on things and just talk. It was close to 2am when the group decided to head home.

Well to the birthday boy, Happy 21st Birthday! Best wishes and may your years ahead bring you joy, loads of wonderful and precious memories to come!

||:PreCiouS:||
9/18/2006 01:35:00 AM
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Monday, September 11, 2006

Can you believe it?
The weekend has come and gone.
I know most people should be fast asleep in their comfortable beds, but moi? I am up in the wee hours of the morning trying to feel sleepy and fall asleep. Somehow non of the home remedies i tried seem to be working on me. Warm milk, camomile tea, herbal sleeping aid pill... hmm i think its official. My body clock is totally screwed up. My mum keeps telling me that i'm living in the wrong time zone.

Maybe i am.

Lately i've been thinking of the possiblity of living and working overseas. Whether i have the courage to actually do that. I keep looking at 'foreign talents' with successful careers in Singapore and I cant help but wonder if i could be as successful as them if I actually decide to take a chance, pack my bags and fly off halfway around the world to settle down and make a living.

I want to know what if feels like to live somewhere else other than here. Although i dispise the hot humid weather here, i love the security that i feel here. The familiarity, the uniqueness of our country. Though i know i'm adaptable to change, throw me anywhere and i'll find a way to survive, but it still scares me. Change and the unknown.

Perhaps i'll take that chance when an opportunity presents itself, or after I get my degree, pay of my student loans, have some savings in the bank and buy that plane ticket.

Saturday's gathering was fun. Been quite some time since i last saw the guys. Conversation wise, the topic that went on for the night, NS talk, more NS talk and typical guy stuff. With vik around you know what guy stuff he likes to talk about *rolls eyes*

Went out with my sis on a mission yesterday afternoon.

The mission?

To get in and out of the John Little Sale in one piece

Lolx!

okie seriously, the main reason i was there with my sis was because she needed to get some stuff before she starts her SIP on Wednesday.
I'm beginning to appreciate SALEs even though i hate the crowds. Reason because, things are cheap! Unlike rich people who can walk into any store of their choice and buy things without looking at price tags, i am not even close to that category. In a year, i'll most probably buy clothes.. hmm let's see.. when i have money.. which is not much.. if i do.. hmm maybe... four times a year? or less.

Dont even talk about Hari Raya. I even recycle my baju kurung. My last year's baju kurung was something i found in a bag of clothes that someone donated to the orphanage when i was still living there. Even if i do get to buy a new one, it is those that you find at the bazaar for like.. wat $20? around that price lah. But it doesnt matter to me. Hari Raya is like once a year. I don't go house visiting much. Grandparents house, some relatives house and that's it. I don't like visiting people's house where i know our family is unwanted. Don't you just hate looking at fake people with their fake 'i feel sorry for you' faces.

So for me its kinda funny when people actually tell me that they've already ordered their baju kurungs or kebaya's from a seamstress and its already done and they just need to go for a fitting. lolx, and the fasting month is not even here yet lah. tsk.

I know that a whole bunch people look forward to this time of year. Get themselves drunk in the festivities, the excitement, the 'duit collection' for the kids, etcetc.. But for me? I donno. Its just another thing you get thru year after year. I actually dread having to go house to house. I actually do not look forward to people coming to the house. I'll be relieved when the month of festivities ends. And i just realised, this year, it ends a day after my birthday. hmmz...

Now how did i go from talking about a SALE to my feelings on Hari Raya?
ish

*shrugs*

well anyways i should continue with my attempts to fall asleep.
ta-ra

p.s - All the best to all year 3s reading this and starting their SIP on wednesday! Break a leg! =)

||:PreCiouS:||
9/11/2006 03:49:00 AM
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Saturday, September 09, 2006

I havent been blogging much lately as you have noticed. Everytime i do actually sign in to create a post, i'll either stare at the blank screen or type something half way and save it as draft thinking i'll continue on it later. And somehow when i really want to blog about something, i'm no where near a computer. But then who really cares right?

Life right now, well lets just put it as i'm going with the flow. There are my good days and bad days. Hey that's part of life right?

I got myself another part time job. I will be starting on Tuesday. Ooh i cant wait. It's gonna be so much fun.

Now i know some may question why am i getting another part time job when i can get a full time job? Well i figured what's the point in getting a full time job if i'm planning on continuing my studies next year and i wont be staying long in the company. Funnily enough, this week i was doing my usual writs and such at the firm when i started to think what if i was still at the firm doing this full time? I think i would have died a long slow death by now. I would be skinnier (if that's possible) , bloodshot eyes, stressed out, pale skin, the works. lolx. And truth be told i'm thankful that i actually got myself out of that position. Life is to short to be depressed and hate what you do.

Speaking of the week. This week has been awesome. Met up with melvo and nad earlier in the week for mel's 'last supper' before starting his full employment with the government, which was yesterday afternoon. Andd he did promise to cook for us once he is able to book out. Cant wait for that. Imagine mel in the kitchen cooking for us girls. A sight to be seen. lolx!

Went out with the family in the middle of the week. Since it is the school holiday and all. Caught a movie in town, had a pit stop later on at my uncle's house to see his new born baby, met up with my 2 bros who were not with us and the 7 of us had dinner at NY pizza. It has been a long long while since the whole family has been out to eat together. It kinda warms my heart.

Its true what they say about family, even tho you do have family members who really gets on your nerves sometimes and there are some traits and habits you wish that were not there, but blood is thicker than water, no matter what family is family. The ones who will be there for you when you least expect it and you can't imagine life without them..

Gathering tomorrow with the gang at popeyes! I can't wait! Its been a longgg time since i've seen everyone. Mann time sure flies by darn fast, can you believe most of the guys have already had their POPs? Tho it still feel kinda wierd when you have a group of guy friends who are still serving their NS and another group of guy friends who have already completed theirs?

It feels kinda dejavouish to say the least. Especially during gatherings. In ITE i was the youngest and when i was in poly i was one of the oldest. So it feels that i'm kinda in a middle of a time wharp where i have two different age group of friends, but hey i love all of em' to pieces. lolx!

Speaking of which, left right and center, i have friends who are either getting married, getting engaged and some who are already married! I know its not uncommon but its like a silent nudge that is telling you "Welcome to the adult world, you're getting old and still single" wtf. Its like a warning that prepares you to what to expect when a family gathering is around the corner. Mainly relatives who like to pry into your life. bleah.
Heck I'm only 21 and turning 22 in two months. I have yet to establish myself in this world and so many things ahead of me to be thinking about such things.
Just look at the current divorce statistics of young married couples. tsk. Its one thing to fall in love, have stars in your eyes and thinking of happily ever after, but a healthy working relationship takes a lot of work and i dont think i'm prepared for that yet.

anyways.. its getting late. 3.11 a.m to be exact and i need to get some sleep if i want to be on time for my appointment with ms tania tay tomorrow. =)

Ouh yes before i forget
i wanna show off my brand new baby cuzz

aint she the cutest? ouh and note in the second pic - the difference between my hand and hers. She's so tiny! okieokie i'm gushing. Everybody gushes over babies. Who doesnt? lolx

||:PreCiouS:||
9/09/2006 02:43:00 AM
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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Monday, September 18, 2006

Monday, September 11, 2006

Saturday, September 09, 2006

.The Writer.

.Through Their Eyes.

.Archive.

.ShoutOuts.

.Reading.

.In My iPod.

.contactez-moi.