IL DIVO is coming to Singapore in January 2007! I am soo excited!! The only down side to this exciting news is that... the tix are so very pricey! daym.
Well seeing that my Birthday is coming soon.. *hinthint* =)
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I cant help but wonder why am i still working at that law firm? Everytime i get there i feel drained, uninspired, bored and sickly. I'm even less motiviated when i dont have the time to go for lunch, end up not having anything to eat the whole day and the boss docking my pay when i actually fall sick.
My other job at UWW has been way better altho it has become a routine for me. Dont get me wrong, i love the work environment, as compared to the law firm days goes by so quickly, however the things you do there is more or less the same. You say the same things, you do the same things. The only thing that i usually look forward to is the interaction with various customers.
I need a job that does not bore me. A job that is different every single day, a job that allows me to interact with people, a job that i actually would love to do. I so hope i get the job i'm currently eyeing at. *fingers crossed* Interview coming up soon! I'm soo nervous and excited all at the same time!
Recent events have made me think twice about furthering my studies. The doctors are observing my 4th bro for the next six months to see if the problem in his heart would get worse. If it does, he will have to undergo major surgery. Which means more hospital bills. My 2nd sis would be graduating from poly soon and is also keen on the idea of furthering her studies and i guess it would be kind of difficult if the both of us are going to further our studies around the same time. I would rather have my sis further her studies and me being the eldest worry about supporting the family. We'll see how things turn out i guess. There's always hope and faith =)
I've been cooped up at home for the past few days now and boredom has started to set in... blogged hopped and decided to do this just to kill time...
L a s t 1. friend you saw: - dee!
2. Person you Talked to on the phone: - Tania Tay
3. Text: - Tania Tay
t o d a y 1. Wearing Today: - tank top & track pants
2. Better than yesterday? - definitely
t o m o r r o w 1. Is: Saturday
2. Got any plans: work
3. Dislikes about tomorrow: hmmz... the travelling time to work
f a v o r i t e 1. Number: 7 2. favourite color(s): black white red 3. Season: hazey
c u r r e n t l y 1. Missing someone: me friends 2. Mood : bored
Q's & A's
Q: First thing you did this morning - drink water
Q: Last thing you ate: - cherry chocettes
Q: What's annoying you right now?: - my back pain
Q: What's the last movie you saw?: - Mulan
Q: Do you believe in long distance relationship? - i'm not sure
Q: Is there anyone you like or love but can't have relationship with?: - hmmz how bout nick carter? lolx
Q: What was, is the reason behind it?: - ello he is a celebrity and lives thousands of miles away and we have a 1 in a million chance of being in the same room as each other. lolx!
Q: Are you both still friends?: - who? oh is this related to the above question? then no, in my dreams perhaps. =P
Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now: - yeah my youngest brother. Wondering when he will be back home from school.
Q: Do you think that a person is thinking of you too? - i have no idea.. but i hope so.. lolx!
Q: Where is the last place you went? - my aunts' place (which was 3 days ago)
Q: Do you look like your mom or dad?: - i tink a bit of both
Q: Do you have any pets? - Nope
Q: Do you smile often?: - whenever i can
Q: Do you wish upon stars? - not really
Q: Are you a friendly person?: - yupyup
Q: Who's bed did you sleep in last night?: - err mine
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?: - black
Q: What were you doing at 12 last night?: - watching princess hours on youtube
Q: Do you have more guy or girl friends?: - I dont keep count
Q: When was the last time you cried?: - does watching a sad show count?
Q: Do you get angry easily?: - usually i'm a v.patient person unless i'm consistently provoked
Q: What was your last thought before you went to sleep last night?: - it feels daymn nice to stretch. lolx
Q: Take any vitamins?: - yup!
Q: What are you about to do?: - watch TV
Q: Do you ever check your phone waiting for.. - nah my phone is usually quiet. I rarely get frequent msgs/calls
Q: Who was the last to fill this survey?: - wawa
Q: Do you like the person?: - whats there not to
Q: Rate life as of right now 1-10: - hmm as of right now -> 6
001. What shirt are you wearing? `. black tank top
002. What pair of pants? `. track pants
003. What color socks? `. currently bare footed
004. What shoes do you have on? ` ditto
005. What makeup? `. not wearing any
006. What jewelry? `. ear studs and the chain i always wear
007. What CD is in your CD player? `. i have no idea
008. What are you listening to? `. nothing
009. Who are you chatting with? `. no one
010. What other windows do you have open? `. msn & hotmail
011. What are you eating/drinking? `. nothing
012. What are you thinking about? `. when this is going to end
013. What time is it? `. 1.19 p.m.
014. What room of the house are you in? `. living room
015. What season is it? `. hazey (this is starting to sound familiar...)
016. How are you wearing your hair? `. erm down...
017. What color are your nails painted? `. not painted
018. What are the other people in your house doing? `. no one's at home
019. What should you really being doing right now? `. watching tv lolx
020. What song have you been listening to non-stop? `. shayne ward's no promises & stand by me
FAST FORWARD: FUTURE.
021. What will you do tomorrow? `. work...
022. Who do you want to see tomorrow? `. the only peeps i would see is my colleagues
023. What do you want to be when you get older? `. happy & contented
024. Do you want to get married? `. one day
025. Do you want to have kids? `. when the time is right i suppose
026. If you could, would you run for president later on? `. nope
027. Where would you like to stay? `. in a beachhouse facing the ocean
028. Describe your dream house? `. The house would be facing the ocean, high glass windows, fully equipped kitchen, roof top garden for bbqs, bathrooms would be as big as my current bedroom w/ fully equipped showers, bathtubs and sink countertops. Bedrooms overlooking the ocean, walk in closet, study room filled with books from floor to ceiling, super comfy couches in the entertainment room... lolx i can go on & on but before i get too overboard i shall stop here.. lolx
030. When are you getting your next haircut? `. next month perhaps
031. When do you plan to go shopping next? `. when my pay actually comes in
032. Would you rather die young and beautiful or live long and die old? `. doesnt really matter to me.. when your time comes, your time comes *shrugs*
033. How would you like to die? `. peacefully
034. What are you looking forward to? `. new experiences
035. What's the next holiday coming up? `. does my birthday count? ok fine.. xmas then!
036. What do you plan on wearing tomorrow? `. no idea
037. What's tomorrow's weather going to be like?: `. clear sunny day i hope
038. How old will you be in four years? `. 26
039. What time will you go to bed tonight? `. no idea
Honestly, i feel like crap. My nose looks like ruldolf's, i cant stop sneezing, tearing and sniffling. I swear this is the aftermath of the haze together with talking non stop to customers without water due to fasting and non stop working. My forearm has also been very itchy lately. bleargh.
so much for the festive season.
If only my home has some air conditioning or air purifying thing that would have lessen this haze effect. But alas we cant afford it. Its just pure luck i dont have asthma or i'll be twice as screwed.
I have not much to update in this entry due to lack of any bit of social life i have. workworkworkwork. The only high points i had between the last entry till now was the 'majlis iftar' i attended at the orphanage. Loads of catching up with the gals there. And also breaking fast with dee and her colleague rohaida at Mak's place followed by a walk thru at geylang serai's bazaar with their attempts to make me buy a 'baju raya'. The outing subsequently led to dee's colleague labeling us 'intelligent bimbos'. hmmz... I was told that its suppose to be a compliment tho both words kinda contradict each other dont you think? lolx!
First day of raya celebrations went along as it usually did. Ended our day at my aunts' place a few blocks away from our house. Thank god we actually did went over to her place cause thats the only place we got to eat ketupat! And she had the 'sambal goreng pengantin' that i love and look forward to every raya! lolx! Had my own feast with me being the only one who had quite a few generous helping. We cant let all those wonderful food go to waste right? *grinz*
Yesterday i received an email stating that i had clinched myself a job interview happening in two weeks. Excited and nervous at the same time, a territory very new to me. Sure as nervous as i am my horoscope did say if i believe in myself all the power in the universe will conjure and help me to succeed! well something along those lines and somehow i believe it! lolx. Well we'll see aye =)
Aite aite i need to lie down now before the whole room starts spinning.
To all my muslim and non muslim friends Selamat Hari Raya Eid Mubarak!
To dee - i know i've wished you but still...
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!!!!! wahwahwah reach the 20 mark already! ahahaha =P
To allclass of 2006 law peeps reading this -- jalan raya on the 11th Nov (Sat)!! Lemme or dee know if you are coming! =)
Another friend of mine from my days back in the orphanage recently got married. Come to think of quite a handful of the are either married or enganged. Okie i'm digressing, anyways, i was looking through her wedding photos she posted online and one caption that caught my eye said "a dream come true". I paused for a moment. I dont know why but i did. I'm glad that her dream came true. Marriage is one of the most sacred things in life. A simple statment to say the least but it made me wonder.
She and me, we are the same age, different backgrounds but grew up together in the same place. She's now married, completely contented, and I? I still want more. I still want more to what life has to offer. I want to taste success. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet without having to worry about not doing enough to support my family. What makes me wonder is how can a person be contented with something so early in life? I'm not particularly convinced of marriage at such a young age. Just look at the rising divorce rates of young couples. The figures will leave you staggering.
Call me a cynic and perhaps i am when it comes to love, marriage and happy endings.
1 - You'll never know what real thirst is until you find yourself working in the front office talking to customers the whole day while fasting. Ditto for how draining one can feel after the end of the shift.
2 - Unless you've been living in Timbaktu, Hady Mirza won Singapore Idol 2. I'm happy for him but i still prefer Taufik. Oh yea surprising i found myself at the finale results show at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. Quite an experience i might say. If all local acts get a turnout such as what i had seen at the Indoor Stadium, the Singapore music industry would actually be booming. Thanks dee for letting me tag along! =)
3 - The boss (from my law firm job) has requested me to work in the day instead of my usual night hours. And instead of my usual 3 hours i find myself having to work double the hours, double the writs i have to generate and process, which is alright i suppose cause i'll be at least be doing something with my time, and the boss is also doubling my pay. The only thing that is troubling me is that, since the firm has a shortage of space, i have to do my work on his laptop in his office which is quite uncomfortable in my opinion. Heck as long as i get the job done i suppose.
4 - I am itching to get myself my own camera tho i'm still literally broke at the moment since my pay has yet to come in. Perhaps when my next two paychecks comesacalling we'll see then. I have three choices of cameras in mind, the Canon Ixus, Sony T-10 and the new Lumix wide lens. I guess my ultimate choice will come down to the matter of function. We'll see =)
5 - Was watching The Ellen Degeneres show and they were in Universal Studios Orlando. Omg when i saw the rides that were there i was itching to get on any of those rides they featured. I wouldnt have been itching so much if i actually got to ride on any of the fun rollercoasters / rides in Genting the last time we were there. (Note to self: For future trips, simply leave the guys in the hotel when they take their daymn sweet time waking up and getting ready. I swear they are worse then girls)
6 - The fasting month somehow makes me crave for different things at different times. Basically the main ones would be Techno's half bbq chicken rice, bbq sambal stingray, popiah, satay and this (i forgot the name of the dish) chinese desert (i think its chinese) that has these ball thingys with peanut stuffed inside and you either eat it with peanut soup, clear soup or soyabean depending on which stall is selling it.
7 - What i love about the fasting month is when the familiy actually gets together in the small kitchen of ours to break fast or 'sahur'. Reason being its a rare sight to actually see the family sitting together around a table eating together.
8 - Russell Peters is performing in Singapore on the 6th - 8th Oct.. and i wanna go! Alas the price of the tix is wayyy over my budget.. sigh... Oh and Putri Gunung Ledang The Musical is going to be staged in Singapore the day after my Birthday! yayness! Hopefully i'll have some dough by then to actually purchase myself a tix. Hopefully my malay is not too atrocious and i'll be able to undestand everything they are saying. But then there is always the english subtitles. lolx!
9 - I'm missing my friends already. Peeps despite your busy schedules, when are we going to meet up?
10 - My aim was to end this entry at number 10. ta-dah! lolx
p.s - oh and naz i've update okie. happy??? =P
p.p.s - and tania yes the one with the glasses in the photo in the entry below is me. The ugly duckling. lolx! and hello it was the 1980s. Big plastic glasss were the in thing and being at a young age i didnt know better ok? And i had no control over what my parents buy and pick out for me. Dont tell me you dont have unique childhood photos too lolx!
okie here's a nicer decent picture of me back then.. khehehe
Blogging has been somewhat a chore lately. Tho at times i've been itching to blog only to find no computer near me... anyways.
I'm suppose to be asleep now seeing that i have work tomorrow morning, well technically later today (since this post will be dated on Sunday). Honestly i was almost falling asleep when my system sudden jerked awake for reasons unknown and i found myself staring at the photo of my late father that i had on my shelf right above my bed.
I started taking out the picture of him from behind the clear container and i continued staring at the photo. Its the black and white passport sized photograph they used to have back then. I couldnt help but notice how young he looked in the photo. He didnt smile but he just looked straight into the camera. I wondered what he was thinking. A young man full of dreams and ambition taken away from his family too soon.
Then it hit me on how i cant seem to remember how his smile looks like. How his laughter sounds like. All the mannerisms you would know of your parent. oh god i'm losing him. why can't i remember? its only been 9 years now, you dont just forget right? what if i lose everything i can remember about him? why are tears running down my cheeks as i type this? shit losing him shouldnt hurt as much now should it? why does it only hurt these recent years? Why can't i seem to find closure? Was it because i didnt get to say goodbye? Was it because i didnt get to see him one last time before he passed away?
it certainly doesnt help when i envy people who have loving parents, who still has their father watching out for them. Just simply having a father figure...
What i can remember about dad? Dad is the tallest, most hardworking, patient, man i know. He loved his children and only wanted the best for them. Although me being me, stubborn and strong minded, didnt understood that then. He took us on overseas trip every one/two years. He speaks when it is necessary and only raises his voice when you really did something bad. Everyday when he gets home from work, we will hear the jingle from his keys first and we'll run straight to the front door knowing that its him, to give him a hug and a kiss to welcome him home.
He didnt come from a well to do family but he had goals. He started working for SIA eversince he was 18 untill the day he died. Every opportunity he got to further his education he took it. He had the opportunity to do a part time course in TP and finally got his diploma. He was promoted to his own office, only enjoyed it for a week before he was hospitalised and passed away the week after.
7th ramadhan on the islamic calander marks the day dad passed away, which was yesterday. 9 years... It sounds like a long time but at the same time it doesnt. Hopefully over time i'll find the closure i need.
I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain.
I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug.
I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness,
I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time.
I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change.
I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.
