Saturday, January 27, 2007

A cool balmy Saturday and i chose to stay at home. Nah not just because i dont have any plans for today, also because i need to get some things done at home, like laundry for starters heee.. and there's also the lack of moolahs to spare and catching up on some much needed sleep.

So dee i was reading thru the 'conversation' we had on my 'comments board' in the previous post. And i kinda realise something, the part of our conversation that revolved around relationships well the lack of being in one on my part was to me a bit redundant. Redundant because its the same excuse i keep giving over and over again.
And i realise that at this stage of my life, perhaps i'm not yet ready to be in one.

I refer to the conversation we had over your chocolate crunch and my cookie summit ice cream two nights ago. (is this starting to sound like a legal letter? lolx)
I spoke on how there's still so much things in life that i want to achieve and have yet to get there. I want to be standing on solid ground and be at peace with everything that is around me. I want to be successful in the path which i will take, i want to be good at what i do.
And perhaps when i get to where i'm suppose to be, then perhaps fate will make its move.

It seems somewhat surreal that i'm almost reaching my mid-twenties. And i cant help feeling that i'm running out of time somehow and trying to catch up. I guess it feels a tad bit pressurizing when you see people of the same age as you achieving so much and having a career of their own right when here i am wanting to pursue my studies in a field totally unrelated to what i've been studying for the past three years and embarking on something that i have been wanting to do ever since i was in my pre-teen years.

However come to think of it why should i be bothered on other people's lives? We each have to take different paths in life, and tho mine had loads of obstacles and bumps along the way, these events made me a much more stronger person today. Its only when we go thru hardship that we learn how strong we can be and with each challange, there is always a blessing behind it, even if we can only see the value of it during the calm after the storm.

They say that the person you are meant to be with is usually someone you have crossed path with in some point of your life without even realising it.
And maybe, just maybe the person i'm meant to be with is someone i have actually crossed paths with before or then again maybe we have yet to meet at all.

Whatever it is, right now i'm perfectly fine focusing on getting ahead in my life and achieving my dreams, rather than mull about something that is simply not the right time yet.

Anyhoo..
Those i have yet to update on my interview on Tuesday.
I would have to say it went well. Not exactly sure who was the lady that interviewed me but from what i gather i left a pretty positive impression on her. or so i hope. hehe.. Well she did say that i should continue doing my photography after she went thru my portfolio.
So hopefully, i'll get accepted into the school *fingers crossed*

Speaking of which, for the past few months of being 'camera-less' i feel like i'm missing a part of myself. Sigh..
I've been relying on my friend's and sis's camera for my photography fix. lolx.
Been telling myself to save up to get myself my own camera but with having to live paycheck to paycheck.. sigh...
seriously one day, i'm so making sure this is all going to change.

||:PreCiouS:||
1/27/2007 04:15:00 PM
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.The Writer.

I love standing in the rain, letting the feel of raindrops caress feverish skin, letting it wash away my thoughts, worries and pain. I love the feel of sand between my toes, the cool wind whispering in my ear, the soothing sound of the sea, the warmth of a hug. I love anything vintage, historical, mysterious and magical. I like to laugh, I like freedom and happiness, I like the idea of romance, being swept off my feet and happy endings. I currently have no idea where i'm going but i know i'll get where i'm suppose to be in due time. I want things i cant have, I dream of things that can never be but i'm too afraid to leave the things i'm familiar with even when i know i'm adaptable to change. I can be the person you love or hate, like or loath, admire or envy. I am not perfect,
I am just me.